疲惫— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and directly answer the question with one clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Reduce repetition and avoid filler words (e.g., “I mean”, “every time” twice). Use correct verb forms and articles (e.g., “a heavy workload”).

範例: Yes, I often feel tired because I work full-time as a software engineer while studying for a PhD. For example, I frequently work late into the evening and spend weekends on research, so I usually feel worn out by the end of the week.

建議: Give a clear, specific time or situation and avoid vague or exaggerated expressions. Start with a direct topic sentence, then support it with 1–2 specific situations and a brief explanation. Remove fillers like “uh” and avoid hyperbole like “I'm dying.”

範例: I usually feel tired after long periods of focused work, such as when I code for several hours without breaks. I also feel especially tired late at night before bed because my concentration drops and my body signals it's time to rest.

建議: Use correct verb forms and a concise structure: topic sentence plus specific activities and brief reasons. Avoid hesitations and finish sentences fully. Give one linking word if adding multiple activities (e.g., “or”, “and”), and explain briefly why those activities help.

範例: I usually listen to music to relax, or sometimes I play video games like Spider-Man or Red Dead Redemption 2 to unwind. These activities help me recharge because music calms me and games let me switch off from work-related thoughts.

× Of course, every time I feel so tired because I'm currently working as a software engineer while studying for my PhD. I mean, it's a really heavy workload per week I have.

✓ Of course, I often feel very tired because I'm currently working as a software engineer while studying for my PhD. I mean, I have a really heavy workload each week.

The original has awkward phrasing and incorrect adverb placement. 'Every time I feel so tired' is unnatural for habitual state; 'I often feel very tired' fits the present habitual meaning. 'A really heavy workload per week I have' mixes word order; correct order is 'I have a really heavy workload each week.' Use 'very' instead of 'so' for written clarity and place adverb before adjective. Ensure subject-verb order is standard (subject + verb + object).

× Of course, uh, as I mentioned before, every time I feel tired, especially I, when I'm working a long time and also, uh, before I sleep, I really feel it. Uh, I am, I'm dying like that.

✓ As I mentioned before, I feel tired especially when I'm working for a long time and also before I go to sleep; I really notice it, and I feel exhausted.

Problems include awkward word order and informal filler words. 'Working a long time' needs 'for a long time' to express duration. 'Before I sleep' is better as 'before I go to sleep.' 'I am, I'm dying like that' is colloquial and unclear; 'I feel exhausted' is a clearer, grammatically correct present-state description. Maintain present progressive for ongoing actions (I'm working) and simple present for habitual states (I feel).

× I usually listening to the music, uh, but sometime I play video games such as, uh, Spider-Man, Red Dead Redemption 2 and the other special games and yeah, those things, uh, really recharge me and.

✓ I usually listen to music, but sometimes I play video games such as Spider-Man and Red Dead Redemption 2 and other similar games; those activities really recharge me.

'I usually listening' incorrectly uses the -ing form after the auxiliary does not appear; correct is 'I usually listen' (simple present for habitual action). 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes' (adverb of frequency). 'The other special games' is vague; 'other similar games' is clearer. Remove redundant fillers and complete the sentence (avoid trailing 'and.'). Use parallel noun phrases and appropriate punctuation.