疲惫— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Reduce filler words (umm) and correct grammar (e.g., "many time" → "a lot of time"). Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "exhausted" and "drained"), and keep it under 4–5 sentences.

範例: Yes, I often feel tired. As an undergraduate preparing for public exams, I spend a lot of time revising and attending extra tutorial lessons, so my days are long and tiring. Because of this heavy workload, I sometimes feel mentally drained by the evening.

建議: Open with a direct topic sentence, then give two specific situations using linking words (e.g., "especially" and "also") but avoid repeating fillers and plural mistakes ("many works" → "a lot of work"). Add a brief specific example or typical time to make it more concrete.

範例: I feel tired when I have a heavy workload, especially during exam periods when I need to revise for multiple subjects. I also get exhausted after school on days with extracurricular activities and evening tutorials, because those long days drain my energy.

建議: Good clear response with relevant details; improve by tightening language, removing fillers, and varying vocabulary. Explain briefly how the music helps (e.g., calms heartbeat, improves concentration) and keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: I usually listen to peaceful music, such as classical piano or acoustic guitar, to relax when I'm tired. It calms my breathing and helps me concentrate, so I can recover my energy and feel more positive.

× we have to do a lot of revision and spend many time on revising the thing that we need to.

✓ we have to do a lot of revision and spend a lot of time revising the things that we need to.

The student used 'many time' which is incorrect because 'time' is an uncountable noun and needs 'much' or 'a lot of'. Also 'the thing that we need to' is vague and ungrammatical; change to 'the things that we need to' or simply 'what we need to'. Use parallel structure: 'spend a lot of time revising' is natural. Grammar problem type ID:14

× as an undergraduate, umm, as we're preparing public exam in our school,

✓ as an undergraduate, umm, as we're preparing for public exams in our school,

The noun 'public exam' requires the preposition 'for' and should be plural 'exams' if speaking generally. Adding 'for' makes the verb 'preparing' complete. Use 'public exams' or 'the public exam' depending on context. Grammar problem type ID:22

× we have tutorial lessons after that.

✓ we have tutorial lessons after that.

Sentence is acceptable, but if referring to a single type of session, 'tutorial lessons' (plural) is fine. No change needed; this entry is included to indicate plural usage is correct. Grammar problem type ID:1

× I would feel tired when I have many works to do, umm,

✓ I would feel tired when I have a lot of work to do, umm,

'Work' in this context is an uncountable noun meaning tasks; 'many works' is incorrect. Use 'a lot of work' or 'many tasks' for correct quantification. Grammar problem type ID:14

× it requires a lot of my energy.

✓ they require a lot of my energy.

Subject refers to 'extracurricular activities and tutorial lessons' (plural), so the verb should be 'require' to agree with a plural subject. Change 'it' to 'they' and 'requires' to 'require'. Grammar problem type ID:2

× I would listen to some peaceful music, some classical music for example, like piano or umm guitar or acoustic music

✓ I would listen to peaceful music, for example classical music, such as piano or guitar or acoustic music

Avoid repeating 'some' and use 'for example' or 'such as' for clarity. 'Like piano' is informal; 'such as piano or guitar' is better. Also remove redundant 'some' before peaceful music. Grammar problem type ID:22

× so that I can have time to lift up my mood.

✓ so that I can lift my mood.

'Lift up my mood' is non-idiomatic; native speakers say 'lift my mood' or 'improve my mood'. 'Have time to' is unnecessary here. Use concise phrasing: 'so that I can lift my mood.' Grammar problem type ID:13}]}oster-debug-summary: suggestions_count=7} PMID:0.1234)