礼貌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장의 핵심은 잘 전달되지만 관사, 시제, 어휘 선택에 오류가 많습니다. ‘a kind person’, ‘polite expressions’, ‘I used to say’처럼 표현해야 합니다. 또한 같은 내용이 반복되므로 부모님의 가르침과 그 결과를 2~3개의 명확한 문장으로 연결하세요. ‘For example’ 뒤에는 구체적인 상황을 제시하면 더 효과적입니다.

範例: When I was younger, my parents taught me to be polite by encouraging me to say “please” and “thank you.” They also reminded me to greet adults respectfully and listen when other people were speaking. As a result, these habits became natural to me.

建議: 의견은 직접적으로 제시했지만 ‘I think’가 반복되고 문법 오류가 많습니다. ‘Being polite has many advantages’와 ‘It makes other people feel happy’처럼 주어와 동사를 일치시키세요. ‘a good conscious’는 자연스럽지 않으므로 ‘a considerate person’ 또는 ‘a good impression’으로 바꾸는 것이 좋습니다. 중요성을 설명할 때는 구체적인 결과나 예를 하나 추가하세요.

範例: Yes, definitely. Being polite is important because it helps people feel respected and makes communication easier. For example, using polite language at work can prevent misunderstandings and create a more positive atmosphere. It also helps me build good relationships with others.

建議: 질문은 ‘어떤 occasions’에 관한 것이므로 정부 공무원뿐 아니라 구체적인 상황을 먼저 언급하는 것이 좋습니다. ‘a diverse person’은 ‘people from diverse backgrounds’, ‘they such government official’은 ‘they visit government offices’로 수정하세요. ‘whenever when’처럼 중복되는 연결어를 피하고, 상황과 이유를 논리적으로 연결하세요.

範例: We should be polite whenever we deal with other people, especially in formal situations. For instance, government officials should treat citizens respectfully because they meet people from diverse backgrounds, including those who may be stressed or confused. Being patient and polite can make these interactions much more comfortable.

建議: ‘show the polite’와 ‘talk a polite experience’는 자연스러운 영어가 아니므로 ‘show my politeness’와 ‘use polite expressions’로 바꾸세요. ‘I usually talk’의 반복을 삭제하고, 단순히 표현을 나열하기보다 실제 행동이나 상황을 설명해야 합니다. 예를 들어 어른에게 인사하거나 도움을 받았을 때 감사 인사를 했다는 구체적인 사례를 제시하세요.

範例: As a child, I showed my politeness by greeting adults and saying “please” when I asked for something. I also said “thank you” whenever someone helped me. My parents praised me for these small habits, so I continued doing them.

× When I was younger, my parents always told me you have to be kind person and they focus on a polite experience for example thank you and please.

✓ When I was younger, my parents always told me that I had to be a kind person, and they focused on polite expressions, such as saying thank you and please.

Because told is in the past tense, the reported clause should normally use had to instead of have to. The singular countable noun person needs the article a. The past-time expression When I was younger requires the past-tense verb focused. Expressions should be plural because thank you and please are two expressions.

× So when I have had some problems I use to talk thank you and please.

✓ So, whenever I had a problem, I used to say thank you and please.

The answer describes a repeated action in the past, so had and used to say are required. The verb say is used for words that someone speaks; talk cannot be used directly with thank you and please. Use whenever or when, not both together, and add the article a before the singular countable noun problem.

× Yes, of course. I think that I think being polite is very important for everything. Being polite have many advantages for example being polite makes me feel other happy for other people. This behavior made me a good conscious

✓ Yes, of course. I think being polite is very important in every situation. Being polite has many advantages. For example, it makes other people happy. This behavior makes me more conscious of other people.

The subject Being polite is singular, so it must take has, not have. The phrase makes me feel other happy is incorrect; the natural structure is makes other people happy. The phrase a good conscious is grammatically incorrect because conscious is an adjective. Use makes me more conscious of other people. The present tense is suitable because these are general opinions and benefits.

× I think that government officials should be polite because they meet a diverse person.

✓ I think that government officials should be polite because they meet diverse people.

The plural subject they refers to government officials, so the object should be plural as well when speaking about people in general. Therefore, use people instead of a person. The adjective diverse can be used without an article before the plural noun people.

× Many people whenever when they have some problem they such government official.

✓ Many people seek government officials whenever they have a problem.

The original sentence is missing the main verb. Seek is the appropriate verb here, and the sentence should follow the normal order of subject, verb, and object. Use whenever instead of the repeated combination whenever when. The singular countable noun problem needs the article a.

× So government officers always have to be polite person.

✓ So government officers always have to be polite.

After the linking verb be, polite is sufficient because it is an adjective describing the officers. The noun phrase polite person would require the article a, but it is unnecessary and less natural in this sentence.

× When I was a child to show the polite, I usually talk I usually talk a polite experience.

✓ When I was a child, I usually showed my politeness by saying thank you and please.

The original sentence repeats I usually talk and does not have a clear sentence structure. The phrase the polite is incorrect because polite is an adjective; the noun form is politeness. Since the answer refers to childhood, showed and saying create a clear and appropriate past-time structure.

× For example, thank you and please.

✓ For example, I said thank you and please.

The original sentence is a fragment because it has no subject or finite verb. Add I said to form a complete sentence. Say is the appropriate verb for giving examples of words that were spoken.

× I think this experience is a good way to represent for me.

✓ I thought this was a good way to express my politeness.

Because the speaker is describing a childhood experience, thought and was are more appropriate past-tense forms. Express is the correct verb for communicating politeness; represent does not fit this meaning. The preposition for is unnecessary after express in this sentence.