礼貌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Give a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Use correct grammar and simple linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like “seize their child needs.” Improve pronunciation/word choice for clarity (e.g., use “taught me” instead of “brought me up to be polite” and correct word order).

範例: My parents taught me to be polite when I was young. For example, they always reminded me to say “please” and “thank you,” and they modelled respectful behavior by greeting neighbors and helping elders. As a result, politeness became a habit for me.

建議: Start with a direct opinion sentence (“Yes, I think...”), then give clear reasons and one example. Avoid vague or mixed metaphors like “politeness is like science.” Keep sentences complete and use linking words (because, therefore, for example).

範例: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it helps people get along and creates a positive atmosphere. For example, saying “excuse me” and listening respectfully can prevent misunderstandings and make conversations smoother.

建議: Answer with a clear topic sentence naming specific occasions, then add brief reasons. Avoid repetition and conditional clutter. Use linking phrases like “for example” or “such as.” Make grammar correct (e.g., “in arguments” rather than “conflict argues”).

範例: We should be polite in everyday situations and especially during arguments. For example, in meetings, at school, and when speaking with older people, politeness helps keep discussions calm and respectful.

建議: Begin with a direct statement of actions, then give one or two specific examples. Use correct verbs and natural phrases (e.g., “I shared my toys with friends” and “I used polite expressions”). Avoid unclear phrases like “I said peaceful.”

範例: I showed politeness by sharing my toys with friends and saying polite phrases like “please” and “thank you.” I also helped older relatives around the house, which showed respect and good manners.

× My parents brought me up to be polite and in my vision, children seize their child needs to know how to be polite and politeness is first that

✓ My parents brought me up to be polite, and in my view, children need to know how to be polite; politeness comes first.

The sentence mixes awkward phrasing and incorrect verb choice. 'In my vision' should be 'in my view'. 'Seize their child needs' is incorrect; the intended idea is 'children need'. Use simple present 'need' to state a general truth. Also split into clearer clauses and use 'comes' to express 'is first'. Suggestions: replace 'in my vision' with 'in my view', use 'children need' instead of 'seize their child needs', and reorganize punctuation for clarity.

× Of course because politeness it's like science which not every person can know and can be polite.

✓ Of course, because politeness is like a science that not everyone can understand, and not everyone can be polite.

Errors: unnecessary contraction 'politeness it's' and wrong article/relative clause. Use 'a science' and 'that' as a relative pronoun; 'every person' is better as 'everyone'. Also use 'understand' rather than 'know' for comprehension. Suggestions: remove contraction, use 'a science', replace 'which' with 'that', and use 'everyone' or 'not everyone'.

× And of course if you're a polite person, it's the same like being friendly and

✓ And of course, if you're a polite person, it's the same as being friendly.

Problems: incorrect comparison phrase 'the same like' should be 'the same as' or 'like'. Also the sentence was incomplete; finishing with 'friendly' completes the thought. Suggest using 'the same as' for comparisons and ensure sentences are complete.

× In conflict argues and in everyday life we need to be polite and show it for all people and if you will if you will be polite and you will do all people polite.

✓ In conflicts and in everyday life we need to be polite and show it to everyone; if you are polite, others will be polite too.

Multiple issues: 'conflict argues' is incorrect—use 'conflicts' (plural noun) or 'when arguing'. 'Show it for all people' should be 'show it to everyone'. Repetitive conditional 'if you will' is wrong in English; use present 'if you are' for general truths. Suggest rephrasing: 'In conflicts' or 'when arguing', use 'to everyone', and use present tense in conditional statements about general behavior.

× I shared my toys to my friends.

✓ I shared my toys with my friends.

Preposition error and collocation: 'share with' is the correct pattern, not 'share to'. The past tense 'shared' is correct for a past action, so keep tense but change preposition to 'with'. Suggest using 'shared ... with'.

× I said peaceful and some words which are polite and about behavior and your relations with old people around you.

✓ I used polite and kind words about behavior and about how to treat older people around you.

Problems: 'said peaceful' is ungrammatical; 'peaceful' is an adjective not commonly used with 'say' in this context. 'Some words which are polite and about behavior' is awkward; use 'polite and kind words' and clarify 'older people' instead of 'old people'. Also align verbs: 'I used' fits better than 'I said' for 'words'. Suggest alternatives: 'I used polite and kind words' and 'how to treat older people'.