礼貌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more grammatical. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., "parents taught me how to behave," not "regarding police"). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid repetition.

範例: I learned to be polite mainly from my parents. For example, they taught me to say "please" and "thank you" and to greet older people respectfully. I also copied the polite behaviour I saw in my family and neighbours, which helped me develop good manners.

建議: Give a concise direct answer and support it with clear reasons and one brief example. Avoid vague phrases and incorrect collocations (e.g., "giving respect" → "showing respect"). Use linking words like "because" or "for example."

範例: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it shapes how others perceive you and helps build good relationships. For example, showing respect to older people and colleagues can earn trust and create a positive atmosphere.

建議: Answer directly and list 2–3 clear occasions with linking words (first, also, finally). Avoid filler words and unclear terms like "a dignity person." Keep sentences short and specific.

範例: We should be polite at work, at formal events where there are older or important guests, and also when we meet strangers. In casual situations with friends we can be more relaxed, but basic respect is still important.

建議: Respond with a clear topic sentence and give 2–3 specific actions you did, using correct verbs and simple structures. Use linking words (for example, and, so) and avoid fragmented sentences.

範例: As a child, I showed politeness by greeting elders, speaking quietly, and listening without interrupting. For example, I would say "Good morning" and wait for their guidance instead of arguing when they corrected me.

× In my back days, my parents used to teach me regarding police how to behave with others.

✓ In my younger days, my parents used to teach me how to behave with others.

The original sentence misuses the preposition 'regarding' and the phrase 'back days' is incorrect. Use 'in my younger days' or 'when I was young' and place 'how to behave with others' directly after 'teach me'. Remove 'regarding police' unless you mean 'about politeness' or 'about being polite'.

× Even though my observation also is crucial in that part, I observed my parents at surrounding even my friends how they are behaving.

✓ My own observation was also important: I watched my parents, people around me, and my friends to see how they behaved.

Pronoun and word order are incorrect. 'My observation also is crucial in that part' should be 'My observation was also important'. 'At surrounding' is wrong; use 'people around me' or 'my surroundings'. Use past tense 'observed' or 'watched' consistently and 'how they behaved' for correct verb form.

× Through that I learned something from my society.

✓ From that, I learned things from my community.

The phrase 'through that' is awkward and 'my society' is unnatural in this context; 'my community' or 'society around me' is clearer. 'Something' is vague; 'things' fits better with 'learned' here.

× Definitely, uh giving respect to others is very crucial for a every individual's life.

✓ Definitely, giving respect to others is very important for every individual's life.

Use 'very important' instead of 'very crucial' (both possible but redundant). Remove the article 'a' before 'every individual's life'; 'every' does not take 'a'. Also 'giving respect' is fine but consider 'showing respect' for natural phrasing.

× That's why we have to show respect what they deserve and it is according to their position and age.

✓ That's why we have to show people the respect they deserve according to their position and age.

Incorrect relative clause 'show respect what they deserve' should be 'show people the respect they deserve'. Clarify 'according to their position and age' placed after 'deserve' for correct sentence flow.

× Everything should be considered while giving a rest.

✓ Everything should be considered when showing respect.

'Giving a rest' is incorrect; likely meant 'giving respect' or 'showing respect'. Use 'when' rather than 'while' for clarity; present passive 'should be considered' is fine.

× There are different venues to be polite uh if it's uh we are working area or any programs which have elder people as well as uh a dignity person and definitely have to show polite otherwise in my in play time with the friends.

✓ There are different situations when we should be polite: at work, at events with older or respected people, and also when playing with friends.

Original sentence is run-on and ungrammatical. 'Venues' can be 'situations'; 'we are working area' should be 'at work'; 'elder people' should be 'older people'; 'a dignity person' is incorrect — use 'respected person' or 'a person of dignity'. 'Have to show polite' should be 'we should be polite'. Break into clear list for readability.

× When I person supposed to need to be provide a respect to them, we just wish them and we don't make any loud voice against them and we don't argue with a why or what questions just listen to them and according to their question which.

✓ When a person should be shown respect, we simply greet them, do not speak loudly or argue by asking why or what, and just listen to them and respond to their questions.

Many pronoun and structure errors: 'When I person supposed to need to be provide a respect to them' is unclear; rephrase to 'When a person should be shown respect'. 'Wish them' likely means 'greet them'. Use consistent subjects ('we') and verbs. 'Don't make any loud voice' should be 'do not speak loudly'. 'Argue with a why or what questions' should be 'argue by asking why or what questions'. End with 'respond to their questions' to complete the idea.