纸— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar, and give one or two specific examples with a linking word. Avoid unclear words and redundancy.

範例: Yes, I did when I was a child. For example, I often folded paper to make small footballs and simple kites, and I used glue and tape to hold them together.

建議: Begin with a clear topic sentence, use linking words to list examples, and provide one specific detail about materials or purpose. Avoid vague or incorrect words (e.g. 'steer up', 'paper ply').

範例: I enjoyed making paper toys as a child. For instance, I rolled paper into balls to play cricket and also folded paper boats; I often used tape to reinforce the boats so they floated better.

建議: Start with a direct answer, then clarify what type of physical writing you do using clear vocabulary and a linking word. Correct unclear phrases and keep sentences short.

範例: Yes, I still write physical messages. For example, I send greeting cards for birthdays and festivals, where I write a personal note and post them to friends and family.

建議: Give a direct opinion, then use a linking word to provide contrasting examples. Be specific about contexts and avoid repetition.

範例: I think it depends. For everyday communication people use phones and emails, but in some official settings like local government offices, handwritten notes or signed documents are still used for formal decisions.

建議: Answer directly and concisely, then give two clear reasons with linking words. Correct repetition and word errors (e.g. 'pans' -> 'pens').

範例: Yes, I usually carry paper and pens because I am a university student. For example, I use them to take lecture notes and to write down questions or homework assignments.

× Yes, I had it was a long time ago when I was a child I used to make both football EDisi using vapors.

✓ Yes, that was a long time ago; when I was a child I used to make paper footballs and other toys using vapour (or simple materials).

The original sentence is a run-on with unclear references and incorrect words ('had it', 'EDisi', 'vapors'). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Fix by splitting into clauses, using a clear demonstrative 'that', and replacing incorrect nouns with appropriate terms. Keep past habitual 'used to' for childhood activities.

× As a child I used to steer up the papers and I rolled them for making a ball just to play cricket.

✓ As a child I used to tear up paper and roll it to make a ball just to play cricket.

The phrase 'steer up' is incorrect and 'papers' is unnecessary plural; 'for making a ball' is awkward. This falls under verb + -ing/form issues (ID 8). Use 'tear up' (correct verb) and the infinitive or simple verb 'make' after 'to' for clarity. Maintain 'used to' for habitual past.

× Also I used to make paper boat, paper ply and a lot of things using papers.

✓ Also, I used to make paper boats, paper planes, and many other things out of paper.

The items are singular and improperly named ('paper ply' unclear). This is a sentence structure/word choice error (ID 26). Use plural nouns for repeated activities and correct items ('paper planes') and a natural prepositional phrase 'out of paper'.

× Yes, I still write physical letters I just do it cards or any of the bird deewishes cards there I write some good wishes and send them to the person.

✓ Yes, I still write physical letters. I also write cards for birthdays and other occasions; I write good wishes and send them to the person.

This sentence is a run-on with unclear phrases ('do it cards', 'bird deewishes'). This is sentence structure error (ID 26). Split into sentences, use correct nouns ('birthday cards'), and clarify the action. Keep present simple for habitual actions.

× I think it depends because for me I use mobiles most of the time and I write emails but for the government offices they still use handwritten letters for the decisions the decisions made by the upper authorities.

✓ I think it depends. For me, I use mobiles most of the time and I write emails, but government offices still use handwritten letters for decisions made by higher authorities.

Run-on and repetition ('the decisions the decisions'); verb tense is present simple for habitual actions. This is a present tense/ sentence structure issue (ID 6 and 26). Remove repetition, use parallel structure, and 'higher authorities' is a clearer phrase.

× Yes, right now I'm in I'm in university so I have to take I have to take paper and pans with me because you know I have to take notes, I have to write write down the answers, the questions asked by my teacher. So I still think

✓ Yes, right now I'm at university, so I have to take paper and pens with me because I need to take notes and write down the answers to the questions asked by my teachers.

Repeated phrases ('I'm in I'm in', 'I have to take' twice, 'pans' instead of 'pens', 'write write') create a sentence structure error (ID 26) and some word choice mistakes. Fix by removing repetitions, using correct words ('pens'), correct preposition 'at university', and present simple for habitual actions.