纸— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and improve grammatical accuracy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and minor errors (e.g. 'in the websites' → 'on websites', 'small piece of papers' → 'small pieces of paper'). Use a linking word to connect the learning source and what you made.

範例: Yes. I learned paper crafts from YouTube and online tutorials, and I used to make small animals and ornaments by folding pieces of paper into different shapes.

建議: Reduce hesitations and correct noun usage and prepositions. Give one clear topic sentence then one specific example with a linking phrase showing cause or result. Replace fillers ('uh', 'umm') and fix phrases ('using papers' → 'using paper', 'in the drains' → 'in the drains or gutters').

範例: As a child I often made paper rockets and boats, especially on rainy days. For example, my friends and I would float the boats in the gutters, which made the rain much more fun.

建議: Improve clarity and accuracy. Begin with a direct answer, then contrast with older generations using precise language and correct vocabulary ('digital era' not 'digital leader', 'messages' plural, 'many older people' not 'half people'). Keep sentences concise and use a linking word like 'however' correctly.

範例: Not really. Nowadays we usually send emails, messages, or call people, but many older people still write letters to friends or relatives.

建議: Be specific and grammatically correct. Give a clear opinion then a concrete example. Avoid unclear phrases ('written 1 specially', 'some team memorable'). Use linking words ('for example') properly and be concise.

範例: Yes, some people still keep handwritten letters, especially if they are from close friends or family. For example, many people save birthday cards or meaningful notes as keepsakes.

建議: Answer directly and finish your sentences. Use one clear topic sentence and one supporting reason, avoiding unfinished phrases and redundancies ('useful' and 'beneficial' both used). Connect ideas with a linking word like 'because'.

範例: Not always. However, when I go to work I usually carry a notebook and a pen because, as an education worker, I often need to record notes or ideas on the spot.

× I learned it from YouTube videos and different tutorials in the websites.

✓ I learned it from YouTube videos and different tutorials on websites.

Incorrect preposition usage ('in the websites') and unnecessary article 'the'. Use 'on websites' to indicate material available on the internet and no article is needed. Keep past participle 'learned' which is correct.

× I used to make small animals and ornaments using small piece of papers folded into different shapes.

✓ I used to make small animals and ornaments using small pieces of paper folded into different shapes.

Singular/plural mismatch: 'small piece of papers' is incorrect. Use plural 'pieces' with singular 'paper' for the noun phrase 'pieces of paper'. This fixes number agreement and natural collocation.

× We uh, enjoyed umm, flying boats in the drains, water drains and others roads.

✓ We enjoyed flying boats in the drains, gutters, and other roads.

Unnatural repetition and wrong phrase 'water drains' and 'others roads'. Use 'gutters' or 'drains' and 'other roads'. Also remove filler words 'uh, umm' in corrected sentence. Ensure parallel structure in the list.

× now it's the digital leader and we mostly write emails or simply a message or a call whenever we need to give any information to other people.

✓ now it's digital and we mostly write emails or simply send a message or make a call whenever we need to give information to other people.

'the digital leader' is incorrect word choice and article use. Use 'digital' as adjective. Also verb forms needed: 'send a message' and 'make a call' are correct collocations. Remove unnecessary article before 'information'.

× However, I still believe there are half people from older generations writing letter to their friends or neighbors or relatives.

✓ However, I still believe there are many people from older generations writing letters to their friends, neighbors, or relatives.

'half people' is incorrect quantifier; use 'many people'. Also 'writing letter' should be plural 'writing letters'. Add commas for list clarity.

× I suppose occasionally they keep physical letters and written 1 specially, especially if they are from a close friend or relative or something important.

✓ I suppose occasionally they keep physical letters, especially if they are from a close friend or relative or are something important.

Stray 'written 1 specially' appears to be an error. Use 'especially' once and make the clause parallel: 'if they are from a close friend or relative or are something important'. This corrects word choice and sentence clarity.

× For example if it's a birthday wish for the some team memorable, they keep it.

✓ For example, if it's a birthday wish or a memorable card, they keep it.

Original phrase 'for the some team memorable' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace with clear expressions 'a birthday wish' or 'a memorable card'. Add comma after introductory 'For example'.

× Because, you know, when we work in the education industry, sometimes it's important and useful, beneficial to keep. Carry so those things, but when I.

✓ When we work in the education industry, it's sometimes useful and important to carry those things with us.

Original is fragmented and has awkward word order and extra words ('Carry so those things, but when I.'). Combine ideas into a single coherent sentence and use correct word order: 'carry those things with us'. Remove filler 'you know' for clarity.