纸— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 答えは内容的で関連性もありますが、文法の誤り（単数／複数や語形）、冗長な表現、そして流れを良くするための接続詞の不足があります。具体的には “my sons because he likes that” は一致していないので修正が必要で、“We folded crane and some small animals” は冠詞や複数形を正しく使うべきです。改善策としては短めのトピック文の後に1〜2文で具体例（何を折ったか、いつ・どのように行ったか・効果）を接続詞（for example, so, which）でつなぐ練習をしてください。

範例: Yes, I enjoy making paper crafts. Recently I made origami with my son because he loves it; for example, we folded cranes and small animals, which was fun and helped him improve his concentration.

建議: 回答は具体的ですが不自然な語（origamism）や不適切な語形（detail works）が見られます。また文のつながりがやや冗長です。改善するには正しい語彙（origami, detailed work）を使い、時制と比較表現を明確にして、接続詞（and, so, therefore）で文を滑らかにつなぐ練習をしてください。例として子どもの頃の頻度や一つの具体的なプロジェクトを示すと良いです。

範例: As a child, I loved making origami. I often folded small paper animals and sometimes assembled several pieces to create larger models, because I enjoyed being creative and focusing on detailed work.

建議: 良い答えですが、表現の重複（‘or birthdays and especially special occasions’）や語順の改善点があります。より自然にするには、まず簡潔なトピック文、その後理由（because）と具体例（who, when）を1文ずつ使い、冗長な接続語を省いてください。また“feeling”は複数形“feelings”の方が自然な場合があります。

範例: Yes, I still write physical letters. I prefer handwriting because it allows me to express my feelings more personally than typing, and I often write letters to family and close friends for birthdays or other special occasions to show my appreciation.

建議: 主張はある程度明確ですが、一部の文が矛盾していたり不自然です（‘All the people in my opinion prefer handwriting more’ は実際の意図と合致しない）。語法（write handwritten lettersではなくwrite letters）と一般化の表現を注意して使ってください。改善案としては、最初に一般的傾向を述べ（fewer people...）、次に例外（special occasions）を示し、最後に短い理由を付け加える構成にすると良いです。

範例: I think fewer people write letters these days because of digital communication, but many still write handwritten notes for special occasions like weddings or birthdays since they feel more personal.

建議: 内容は明確で仕事に結びつけた具体例もあり良いですが、文法の細かい誤り（‘share the image’, ‘help me sharing ideas’）と冗長表現があります。より自然にするためには動詞不定詞や動名詞の使い分け（help me to share / help me share）や表現の簡潔化（sketch rough layouts or share ideas）を意識してください。また一つの締め文で効果を要約すると完成度が上がります。

範例: Yes, I do. As an interior designer I always carry paper and a pencil to client meetings to sketch rough layouts or share ideas, and these quick sketches help me communicate concepts more clearly.

× Yes, I have enjoyed making paper craft and recently I made origami with my sons because he likes that.

✓ Yes, I have enjoyed making paper crafts and recently I made origami with my sons because they like that.

Subject-pronoun agreement: 'son' is plural 'sons', so the pronoun must be 'they' not 'he'. Also 'paper craft' should be plural 'paper crafts' or 'paper craft' as an uncountable activity; plural is more natural here. Suggestion: match pronouns to the noun number and use plural for countable activities when referring to multiple items.

× We folded crane and some small animals which was fun and also helped him improve his concentration.

✓ We folded a crane and some small animals, which was fun and also helped them improve their concentration.

Singular/plural and pronoun agreement: 'crane' as a singular noun needs an article 'a'. 'Some small animals' is plural, so the verb phrase referring to both should be plural in pronoun form 'them' and 'their concentration'. Also add a comma before the non-restrictive clause 'which'.

× When I was a child, I liked making origamism as my son recently.

✓ When I was a child, I liked making origami, as my son does recently.

Tense and usage: 'origamism' is not a standard noun; use 'origami'. The comparison requires present tense for the son doing the same recently: 'does' or better 'has been' depending on meaning. Better: 'as my son does recently' or 'as my son has recently'. Suggestion: use correct noun 'origami' and match tense for comparison.

× I often created small paper animals and would assemble several pieces to build large models because I enjoyed being creative and concentrating on detail works.

✓ I often created small paper animals and would assemble several pieces to build large models because I enjoyed being creative and concentrating on detailed work.

Word form and countability: 'detail works' is incorrect; use the adjective 'detailed' with uncountable 'work' or 'detailed works' if referring to multiple pieces of work. 'Detailed work' is more natural. Ensure adjective form 'detailed' describes 'work'.

× I prefer handwriting because I can express my feeling better than when I type on a computer and it feels more personal.

✓ I prefer handwriting because I can express my feelings better than when I type on a computer, and it feels more personal.

Count/form: 'feeling' should be plural 'feelings' when referring to emotions in general. Also add a comma before 'and' linking independent clauses. Suggestion: use plural 'feelings' for general emotional expression.

× I often write physical letters to my family or close friends or birthdays and especially special occasions to show my appreciation.

✓ I often write physical letters to my family or close friends for birthdays and especially on special occasions to show my appreciation.

Preposition and sentence structure: use 'for birthdays' and 'on special occasions' to indicate purpose/time. The original listed 'or' incorrectly and lacked proper prepositions. Suggestion: group recipients then specify occasions with correct prepositions.

× I think fewer people write handwriting letters these days, but people still write them for special occasions such as weddings or birthdays or express their appreciation.

✓ I think fewer people write handwritten letters these days, but people still write them for special occasions such as weddings or birthdays or to express their appreciation.

Incorrect adjective form: 'handwriting letters' should be 'handwritten letters'. Also add 'to' before 'express' to make an infinitive purpose clause. Suggestion: use 'handwritten' as the adjective and include 'to' for 'to express'.

× All the people in my opinion prefer handwriting more.

✓ In my opinion, most people prefer handwriting more.

Awkward phrasing and article use: 'All the people in my opinion' is redundant and unnatural. Use 'In my opinion, most people' or 'I think most people'. Also 'prefer handwriting more' is redundant; 'prefer handwriting' is sufficient but 'prefer handwriting more' can be kept for emphasis. Suggestion: use concise opinion phrases.

× Honestly, yes, I do, because I'm an interior designer and I always carry paper and a pencil to meetings with my clients to sketch rough layouts or to share the image.

✓ Honestly, yes, I do, because I'm an interior designer and I always carry paper and a pencil to meetings with my clients to sketch rough layouts or to share ideas.

Word choice: 'share the image' is unnatural; use 'share ideas' or 'share a concept'. 'Image' here is not idiomatic. Suggestion: use 'ideas' or 'concepts' when referring to design thoughts.

× These quick sketches help me sharing ideas

✓ These quick sketches help me share ideas.

Verb form after 'help': use the base verb 'share' not the gerund 'sharing'. 'Help' is followed by either the base verb or 'to' + base verb. Suggestion: use 'help me share' or 'help me to share'.