纸— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (“uh”), and give one or two specific details. Limit to 2–4 sentences and use linking words for coherence.

範例: Yes. I used to make paper airplanes and origami birds when I was a child, but I haven’t practiced for years. As a result, I don’t remember the exact folding steps anymore.

建議: Organize into a clear topic sentence and specific supporting details. Avoid slang or incorrect words (“crap”, “kurshi bone”). Use linking words (for example, also, because) and be concise.

範例: As a child, I enjoyed drawing on paper and making paper airplanes and birds. I also used paper to practice my Nepali handwriting, often writing two or three pages to improve my skills.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence and clarify details with correct vocabulary (e.g., “government office”). Use linking words and reduce repetition.

範例: Not often. I only write physical letters when I need to deal with official matters at a government office, such as applying for documents or paying taxes.

建議: Clarify your main idea and use correct terms (e.g., “handwritten letters”). Avoid repetition and finish the thought. Provide a reason and a brief contrast using linking words.

範例: Yes, many people still keep handwritten letters as keepsakes because they have sentimental value. However, since social media and messaging apps are so common now, fewer people write letters than before.

建議: Make your answer concise and use linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., “replaced by smartphones”) and split into two sentences: general habit and exception with reason.

範例: Usually I don’t carry paper and a pen because smartphones can handle most tasks. However, I do bring them when I visit government offices for official paperwork.

× I have not practiced since from my childhood.

✓ I have not practiced since my childhood.

The phrase 'since from my childhood' is incorrect. Use 'since my childhood' to indicate an action continuing from that time until now; 'since' already marks the starting point so 'from' is redundant. Suggestion: Use 'since my childhood' or 'since I was a child.'

× So now I don't uh, quite remember how to do it.

✓ So now I don't quite remember how to make them.

The original uses filler words and 'do it' which is vague. 'Don't quite remember' is fine; use 'make them' to refer back to crafts. Maintain present simple for a current state. Suggestion: Remove filler words and refer clearly to the activity (make paper crafts).

× In my childhood I used to draw a lot in my paper and sometimes I used to make various crap like airplanes, birds and I also used for my in order to improve my writing skills.

✓ In my childhood I used to draw a lot on paper and sometimes I used to make various things like airplanes and birds, and I also used them to improve my writing skills.

Use 'on paper' not 'in my paper.' 'Crap' is informal and incorrect here; 'things' or 'crafts' is appropriate. 'Used for my in order to' is ungrammatical; 'used them to' expresses purpose. Maintain past habitual 'used to.' Suggestion: Say 'on paper' and replace slang with suitable nouns and a correct purpose structure ('used them to improve...').

× For example, if I had to practice my Nepali writing or my kurshi bone I used to write two or three pages

✓ For example, if I had to practice my Nepali writing or my cursive handwriting, I used to write two or three pages.

The sentence lacked clear vocabulary ('kurshi bone' unclear) and needed proper nouns. 'Cursive handwriting' likely intended. The sentence ends without punctuation but grammatically is fine after correction. Maintain past habitual 'used to.' Suggestion: Use correct term 'cursive handwriting' and include commas as needed.

× I don't write physical letter often but when I have to go to the government shutter I do have to write some kinds of letter for my purpose of visit and other tax.

✓ I don't often write physical letters, but when I have to go to a government office I have to write certain kinds of letters for my visit and for taxes.

Use plural 'letters' and 'write physical letters' with adverb placement 'don't often write.' 'Government shutter' is incorrect; 'government office' fits. 'Some kinds of letter' should be 'certain kinds of letters.' Use 'for my visit and for taxes' for clarity. Suggestion: Place adverbs near the verb ('don't often write') and use correct nouns (office, letters, taxes).

× So I only write papers in case of government work.

✓ So I only write documents or papers for government work.

'Write papers' is vague; 'documents or papers' is clearer. Use 'for government work' not 'in case of.' Suggestion: Use 'for' to indicate purpose and choose precise nouns ('documents').

× I think people still kept Handriton Roads for their memory because in the past Handriton roads are very common among various people among people due to the development of social media and messaging apps people nowadays people write less letters so they still keep their

✓ I think people still keep handwritten records or letters for memories, but handwritten letters used to be very common. Due to social media and messaging apps, people nowadays write fewer letters, though some still keep them.

Original mixes past and present tenses incorrectly and uses unclear terms like 'Handriton Roads.' Replace with 'handwritten records' or 'handwritten letters.' Use 'keep' for present and 'used to be' for past habitual. Use 'fewer letters' (countable plural) not 'less letters.' Suggestion: Distinguish past and present with 'used to' vs 'now' and use 'fewer' for countable nouns.

× Usually I do not carry paper and pen when I go out nowadays the work that I can do with paper and pen is entirely replaced by various replaced by smart phones but when I have to go to government offices for official work, then I must have to bring a paper and pen with me.

✓ Usually I do not carry paper and a pen when I go out. Nowadays the work I used to do with paper and a pen has been entirely replaced by smartphones, but when I have to go to government offices for official work, I have to bring a pen and some paper with me.

Use 'a pen' and 'some paper' for countable/uncountable clarity. Fix repetition 'replaced by various replaced by.' Use present perfect passive 'has been replaced' to indicate change up to now. 'Must have to' is redundant; use 'have to.' Suggestion: Use 'has been replaced' for completed change affecting present, avoid redundant modal constructions and repetition.