纸— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Clarify vocabulary and simplify phrasing. Use a clear topic sentence, correct word choice (e.g., "paper craft" or "paper crafts"), and give one or two specific examples with a linking phrase. Avoid awkward words like "creep construction" and redundancy.

範例: Yes. I make paper crafts regularly, such as origami animals and paper flowers. For example, I recently folded a crane and a rose, which I used to decorate my room.

建議: Start with a clear past-tense topic sentence and add specific details with a linking word. Use correct forms ("as a child" and "origami"). Mention a brief reason or a memory to make it vivid.

範例: As a child, I loved making paper crafts such as origami figures and paper flowers. Because I enjoyed imagining stories for my creations, this hobby helped me relax and stay entertained after school.

建議: Make sentences concise and correct. Use one clear topic sentence in present tense, then give specific examples of when you write letters. Remove unclear phrases (e.g., last sentence is confusing) and avoid repetition of "love."

範例: Yes, I still write handwritten letters to close family members and friends. For instance, I write birthday notes and thank-you letters because handwriting feels more personal and helps me express emotions better.

建議: Use clearer vocabulary and avoid unclear comparisons ("test texts"). Begin with a direct opinion, then support it with two specific reasons linked by connectors. Avoid vague phrases like "for any stuff."

範例: Yes, I believe many people still keep handwritten letters because they feel more personal and emotional than digital messages. For example, people save love notes or farewell letters as keepsakes because those items bring back memories.

建議: Be concise and avoid filler sounds ("uh") and repetition. Use one topic sentence, then give a contrasting example with a linking word (e.g., "however"). Correct grammar and finish sentences fully.

範例: No, I don't usually carry paper and pens when I go out because I rarely need them. However, I always bring them to school since teachers require notebooks and pens for classes.

× I often work around creep construction and other art papers, especially when making origamis paper, flowers or other figures.

✓ I often work with crepe paper and other art papers, especially when making origami, paper flowers, or other figures.

The student used incorrect words and forms: 'creep construction' is incorrect and likely intended 'crepe paper'; 'work around' is a wrong preposition for this context (use 'work with') and 'origamis paper' mixes plural and noun forms. Use 'origami' as an uncountable noun for the craft, and 'paper flowers' for clarity. Also add commas for list clarity. Suggestion: learn common craft vocabulary (crepe paper, origami) and collocations like 'work with' rather than 'work around'.

× I like to do crafts with paper as a kid, for example origamis and paper flowers.

✓ I liked to do crafts with paper as a child, for example origami and paper flowers.

The question asks about childhood (past), so the verb should be in past tense. Also 'as a kid' is conversational; 'as a child' is more natural in the test. 'Origamis' is incorrect plural; use 'origami' as the craft noun. Suggestion: match tense to the time reference in the question and treat 'origami' as a non-count noun for the craft.

× It helped me create from my imagination and it also helped me relax and keep myself entertained.

✓ It helped me create from my imagination, and it also helped me relax and keep me entertained.

The pronoun 'myself' is unnecessary and awkward here. Use 'keep me entertained' to match the subject 'it helped' and maintain natural object pronoun usage. Also add a comma before 'and' for readability. Suggestion: use object pronouns (me, him, her) after verbs like 'help' instead of reflexive pronouns unless reflexive meaning is intended.

× As of today, I still like writing handwritten letters, especially when it comes to the people I love the most.

✓ As of today, I still like writing handwritten letters, especially for the people I love the most.

'When it comes to' is unnecessary and slightly awkward here; 'for the people' is more concise and idiomatic. Tense is present and appropriate; this fixes phrasing. Suggestion: prefer concise prepositional phrases ('for the people') when expressing recipients.

× It is also one of my favorite a lot of languages.

✓ It is also one of my favorite things in many languages.

The original phrase is ungrammatical: 'favorite a lot of languages' mixes structures. The student likely meant the practice translates across languages, so 'one of my favorite things in many languages' or better 'one of my favorite things across cultures' is grammatical. Suggestion: reframe intended meaning clearly; avoid stacking quantifiers like 'a lot of' directly after 'favorite'.

× Of course, I think that people cherish handwritten letters more than test texts.

✓ Of course, I think that people cherish handwritten letters more than text messages.

'test texts' is a typo or wrong word; context suggests 'text messages'. Correct the noun to 'text messages' to convey contrast between handwritten letters and digital texts. Suggestion: proofread for typos that change meaning (test/text).

× Not only does it express emotions and thoughts more deeply, but it can also feel like a more personal connection between them and the giver.

✓ Not only does it express emotions and thoughts more deeply, but it can also feel like a more personal connection between the recipient and the giver.

The pronoun 'them' is ambiguous; using 'the recipient' clarifies who 'them' refers to and keeps parallel structure with 'the giver'. Suggestion: use clear nouns (recipient, recipient and giver) instead of ambiguous pronouns in formal responses.

× For any stuff, whenever in relationships, letters are the thing that people cherish the most.

✓ In relationships, letters are the things that people cherish the most.

The phrase 'For any stuff, whenever in relationships' is ungrammatical and redundant. Simplify to 'In relationships' and pluralize 'things' to match 'letters' or reword as 'letters are what people cherish most'. Suggestion: avoid filler phrases like 'for any stuff' and keep sentences concise and direct.

× I don't usually carry paper and pens every time I have to go outside because I don't think that it's necessary to.

✓ I don't usually carry paper and pens every time I go outside because I don't think it's necessary.

'Every time I have to go outside' is wordy; 'every time I go outside' is natural. Ending with 'necessary to' is incorrect; drop the 'to'. Suggestion: avoid unnecessary verbs at the end of sentences; keep constructions like 'it's necessary' complete.

× But in uh, school context, of course I have to bring them with me because it is a requirement.

✓ But in a school context, of course I have to bring them with me because it is a requirement.

Missing article 'a' before 'school context' makes the noun phrase ungrammatical. Also remove filler 'uh' in a formal test. Suggestion: use articles with countable noun phrases ('a school context') and avoid fillers.

× But All in all, I don't think that I have to always carry it around me whenever I have to go out because. There's nothing I could use it on.

✓ All in all, I don't think I have to always carry them with me when I go out because there's nothing I could use them for.

Multiple issues: incorrect capitalization 'All', incorrect pronouns and referents ('it' vs 'them' for paper and pens), awkward word order 'carry it around me', and sentence fragment 'because.' Combine into one sentence, use 'them' to refer to plural items, and use correct preposition 'for' after 'use'. Suggestion: ensure pronouns match number of antecedents, avoid sentence fragments, and use correct prepositions ('use something for').