纸— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and grammar (e.g., "when I was at elementary school"). Avoid redundancy.

範例: Yes. I used to make paper crafts when I was at elementary school, especially origami and paper animals. However, I rarely make them now because my job is very busy and leaves me little free time.

建議: Begin with a direct answer, then give clear reasons with linking words. Use correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., "email" not "emailed"). Avoid slang like "wanna."

範例: Not really. I used to write physical letters, but nowadays I usually send messages on my phone or email because it's faster and more convenient.

建議: Answer directly and provide balanced, specific reasons. Use linking words (e.g., "however", "for example"). Avoid vague wording and tense errors.

範例: Yes, some people still keep handwritten letters. For example, older generations often save greeting cards and letters as keepsakes, whereas younger people tend to use digital messages instead.

建議: Give a clear present-tense answer, then explain with a concise example. Fix tense mistakes and remove repetition.

範例: Not usually. I carried pens and paper at university, but now I only bring them if I expect to need them, such as when I'm attending meetings or writing notes.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense and give specific details and examples. Avoid filler words and vague phrases like "and stuff."

範例: As a child I loved drawing on plain paper, especially cartoons and landscapes. I also used paper for school homework and crafts, while now I only use it occasionally for special events.

× Yes, I made some crafts when I was elementary days, but these days I wouldn't touch any paper, made any new crafts because of my job demand.

✓ Yes, I made some crafts when I was in elementary school, but these days I don't touch paper or make new crafts because of my job demands.

The original mixes past and conditional forms incorrectly and omits necessary words. 'When I was elementary days' should be 'when I was in elementary school' (correct noun phrase and preposition). 'I wouldn't touch any paper, made any new crafts' wrongly combines conditional 'would' with past 'made'; use present simple 'don't touch' and 'make' to describe current habit. 'Job demand' should be pluralized to 'job demands' or 'job demands' for naturalness.

× I used to write physical letter before, but these days because of new technologies involving we could actually use our phones to send messages to our loved ones and also through emailed if you wanna send some messages to your.

✓ I used to write physical letters before, but these days, because of new technologies, we can use our phones to send messages to our loved ones and also email them if we want to send messages.

Several issues: 'physical letter' should be plural 'physical letters' when speaking generally. 'Involving' is incorrect; use a noun phrase 'because of new technologies'. 'We could actually' better as present ability 'we can'. 'Through emailed' is incorrect; use the verb 'email' and 'if you wanna' is informal and ungrammatical; use 'if we want to'. Also fix final pronoun 'your' to 'them' or 'our loved ones'.

× I believe some people still do right let do write letters these days, especially if they're old people.

✓ I believe some people still do write letters these days, especially older people.

Phrase 'do right let do write' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use 'still do write' or simply 'still write'. 'Old people' is better as 'older people' for naturalness. Maintain present simple for habitual actions.

× They used to use the paper to send some greetings to their loved ones, but on the younger generation they used to use the technology to.

✓ They used to use paper to send greetings to their loved ones, but the younger generation now uses technology to do that.

'Used to use the paper' should omit 'the' and 'some' for naturalness: 'use paper to send greetings'. Contrast requires present simple for the younger generation: 'the younger generation uses'. Add 'to do that' to complete the clause. This corrects tense consistency and sentence completeness.

× I do carry pens and paper when I was studying in uni but in general if I go out for example going to mall to shop I don't carry any papers or pen.

✓ I did carry pens and paper when I was studying at university, but in general, if I go out to the mall to shop, I don't carry any paper or pens.

Mixing present 'I do carry' with past 'when I was studying' is inconsistent; use past 'I did carry' or 'I carried' for that time. Use 'studying at university' not 'in uni'. Use 'go out to the mall to shop' for clarity. Use 'paper or pens' (paper uncountable, pens plural) for correct nouns.

× It really depends if you really need needed but yeah I do not often work.

✓ It really depends on whether you need them, but I don't often work with paper.

'Depends if' should be 'depends on whether'. 'Need needed' duplicates tenses; use 'need'. Clarify object 'them' (paper and pens). 'I do not often work' is vague; specify 'work with paper'. Maintain present simple for habitual condition.

× As a child I do love umm drawings using this clear paper and sometimes I use it to to do some homework and stuff, but right now I use it for any events.

✓ As a child I loved drawing on tracing paper, and sometimes I used it to do homework, but now I only use it for special events.

Childhood actions should be in past tense: 'loved' and 'used'. 'Drawings using this clear paper' is awkward; 'drawing on tracing paper' is clearer. Remove duplicate 'to to'. 'Right now' with 'use it for any events' is awkward; 'now I only use it for special events' is natural. Maintain consistent tense and clear nouns.