公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar: use past tense consistently, avoid fillers, and give one specific supporting detail. Link sentences with a clear connector (for example, “because” or “so”).

範例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because I loved being outdoors. For example, my family and I often played volleyball there every weekend, so parks were where I spent most of my free time.

建議: Avoid repetition and filler words, and make the connection between being a lawyer and joining a team clearer. Use one or two linking phrases and a specific time or frequency detail.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy parks because I play volleyball there regularly. In fact, I joined a volleyball team at the local bar association, and we meet twice a week to play outdoors during the summer.

建議: Correct grammar and be specific: describe exactly what you mean by “up and downs” and give a clear reason. Use linking words like “because” and avoid hesitations.

範例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because most existing parks are hilly. Since I run every day, I prefer flat parks where I can maintain a steady pace without steep slopes.

建議: Fix small factual/language slips and add a brief specific memory or plan. Use correct names and avoid repetition (e.g., 'Hyde Park' not 'High Park'), and connect your past experience to why you want to return.

範例: Yes, I would like to return to Hyde Park in London because I lived nearby for three years and often walked there. I especially miss its large plane trees and the variety of flower beds, so next time I visit I plan to spend an afternoon exploring the gardens.

× Yes, I did like going to the parks as a child.

✓ Yes, I did like going to parks as a child.

The definite article 'the' before 'parks' is unnecessary when speaking about parks in general. Use the plural noun without an article to indicate parks generally. Suggestion: remove 'the' so it reads 'going to parks.'

× Uh, I prefer to go to outside ones, uh, because I like to being outside and I used to play volleyball with my family, so I prefer to go outside parks with my family.

✓ I prefer to go to outdoor ones because I like being outside, and I used to play volleyball with my family, so I prefer outdoor parks with my family.

Multiple preposition and word-form problems: 'go to outside ones' is wrong; use the adjective 'outdoor' before 'ones' or 'parks'. 'Like to being' mixes infinitive and -ing; use 'like being' or 'like to be'. 'Go outside parks' is incorrect order; use 'outdoor parks' or 'parks outside.' Suggestion: use 'outdoor' as adjective and 'being' without 'to.'

× Yes, I still like going to parks now because I still play volleyball and I have a, a volleyball team with the bar, uh, because I'm a lawyer as well.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks now because I still play volleyball and I am in a volleyball team at the bar, because I'm a lawyer as well.

Awkward preposition and verb choice: 'have a volleyball team with the bar' is unclear. Use 'am in a volleyball team at the bar' or 'play on a volleyball team at the bar.' Maintain present tense 'am in' to match ongoing action. Suggestion: say 'I am on a volleyball team at the bar' or 'I play on a volleyball team at the bar.'

× So I joined a volleyball team in the bar.

✓ So I joined a volleyball team at the bar.

Preposition with past tense: 'in the bar' is less natural; use 'at the bar' to indicate association/place. The past tense 'joined' is fine if referring to a completed action. Suggestion: use 'at' for locations like bar.

× Umm, so we love playing outside when it's summer.

✓ Umm, so we love playing outside in the summer.

Use correct preposition for seasons: English uses 'in the summer' rather than 'when it's summer' or 'during the summer.' Both are possible, but 'in the summer' is more natural. Suggestion: say 'in the summer.'

× We have some of them but they're all, uh has some up and downs.

✓ We have some of them, but they all have some ups and downs.

Subject-verb agreement and noun form: 'they're all, uh has' is incorrect; 'they' requires 'have.' 'Up and downs' should be 'ups and downs' (plural noun). Suggestion: reorder to 'they all have some ups and downs.'

× I need a flat ones because I also, uh, run every day and up and downs are really hard for me.

✓ I need flat ones because I also run every day and ups and downs are really hard for me.

Mismatch between singular article and plural noun: 'a flat ones' combines singular 'a' with plural 'ones.' Remove 'a' to match plural 'ones.' Also 'up and downs' should be 'ups and downs.' Suggestion: 'I need flat ones.'

× Yes, I want to see Hyde Park in UK because I lived there for three years and I missed the High Park.

✓ Yes, I want to see Hyde Park in the UK because I lived there for three years and I miss Hyde Park.

Use of definite article with country: 'in UK' should be 'in the UK.' Tense and name accuracy: 'I missed the High Park' is wrong—'miss' present tense if still missing, and 'High Park' is incorrect name; it should be 'Hyde Park.' Suggestion: use 'in the UK' and 'I miss Hyde Park.'

× I love it because it has some gorgeous trees and different types of flowers.

✓ I love it because it has many gorgeous trees and different types of flowers.

'Some' is acceptable but weak; 'many' is more natural when counting visible variety. No major grammar error, but using 'many' clarifies quantity. Suggestion: use 'many' for countable plural nouns when indicating quantity.