公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid redundancies and fix tense and sentence fragments.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, after studying for entrance exams I would go there to play on the swings and breathe fresh air, which helped me relax and forget about stress.

建議: Good clear answer but correct small grammar errors and tighten sentences. Use linking words and one specific example of an activity. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Absolutely. I still enjoy parks because their green spaces and fresh air help me unwind after a busy day. For instance, I often sit on a bench to read or take a short walk to clear my mind.

建議: Begin with a direct statement, then give one clear reason and a specific example or effect. Fix grammar and repetition (remove duplicate words). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

範例: Yes, I would. Because my city is dominated by tall skyscrapers, more parks are necessary to provide green space and improve air quality; for example, small neighborhood parks could give residents places to relax and socialize.

建議: Answer directly, correct vocabulary and typos (perks → parks; 'want to wanted' → 'want'). Give a brief reason and one conditional example using linking words like 'however' or 'if'.

範例: To be honest, I don't have a particular park I plan to visit because I'm quite introverted and prefer staying home to read or watch Netflix. However, I would go to a quiet nearby park if a friend invited me or if I needed some fresh air.

× Looking back on my childhood days, yes, I was a huge fan of going to parks.

✓ Looking back on my childhood days, yes, I was a huge fan of going to parks.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses past tense to talk about childhood. Keep past tense for consistency when referring to past preferences.

× This is because it allows me to unwind myself out of very stressful days.

✓ This is because it allowed me to unwind after very stressful days.

The student mixes present tense 'is' with past context. Use past tense 'allowed' to match 'Looking back on my childhood'. Also 'unwind myself out of' is unnatural; use 'unwind after'. Remove reflexive 'myself' as 'unwind' does not require it. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and use common collocations like 'unwind after'.

× When I was young, I was very busy with preparation for the entrance exam to some prestigious elementary school so.

✓ When I was young, I was very busy preparing for the entrance exam to a prestigious elementary school.

The phrase 'busy with preparation' is awkward; use 'busy preparing'. 'Some prestigious elementary school' should be 'a prestigious elementary school'. Ending 'so' is unnecessary and ungrammatical. Suggestion: use gerund 'preparing' and correct article usage.

× Absolutely. I still love going to parks because they help me unwind after busy day.

✓ Absolutely. I still love going to parks because they help me unwind after a busy day.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'busy day'. Use 'a busy day' for singular countable noun. Tense and verb forms are fine.

× The green spaces and fresh air near my house makes it easy to relax and I often sit on the bench to read or go for short work to clear my mind.

✓ The green spaces and fresh air near my house make it easy to relax, and I often sit on a bench to read or go for a short walk to clear my mind.

Subject 'The green spaces and fresh air' is plural, so use 'make' not 'makes'. Use 'a bench' instead of 'the bench' unless a specific bench was mentioned. 'Short work' is incorrect; correct word is 'short walk'. Add a comma before 'and' to connect clauses. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and choose correct nouns.

× Yes, I strongly believe that there should be more parks in my city as my city is surrounded by a lot of tall skyscrapers or higher high buildings.

✓ Yes, I strongly believe that there should be more parks in my city, as it is surrounded by many tall skyscrapers and high-rise buildings.

Redundant repetition 'my city' can be replaced by 'it' in the second clause. 'a lot of' is informal; 'many' is better. 'tall skyscrapers or higher high buildings' is wordy and ungrammatical; use 'tall skyscrapers and high-rise buildings'. Add comma before 'as' for clarity. Suggestion: avoid repetition and choose concise, correct collocations.

× Is necessary for cities to be equipped with with more greenery.

✓ It is necessary for cities to be equipped with more greenery.

Missing subject 'It' makes the sentence ungrammatical. Also duplicate 'with' appears twice. Suggestion: start with 'It is necessary...' and ensure no duplicated words.

× To be very honest, I don't have any specific perks I want to visit in the future because I'm quite introverted.

✓ To be very honest, I don't have any specific parks I want to visit in the future because I'm quite introverted.

The student wrote 'perks' (benefits) instead of 'parks' (places), which is a wrong word choice. This is lexical error; corrected to 'parks'. Suggestion: proofread for similar-sounding word mistakes.

× I usually prefer staying at home reading or watching Netflix, although I might go to a quiet park if a friend invited me or if I want to wanted some fresh air.

✓ I usually prefer staying at home reading or watching Netflix, although I might go to a quiet park if a friend invited me or if I want some fresh air.

Two issues: use 'invited' is OK in conditional past context but better: 'if a friend invited me' implies unreal past—'if a friend invites me' fits present/future possibility. Also 'want to wanted' is incorrect duplication; use 'want'. Suggested correction keeps 'invited' but fixes 'wanted' to 'want'. Better alternative: 'if a friend invites me or if I want some fresh air.' Ensure consistent conditional tense and remove duplicated verb form.