视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and avoid repetition and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason and an example. Limit to 2–3 sentences and remove hesitation sounds like “uh.” Use slightly broader vocabulary such as “landscapes” or “scenery.”

範例: Yes, I really enjoy photographing different views. I like capturing natural landscapes so I can revisit the memories later—for example, I often photograph sunsets at the lake because the colours change dramatically.

建議: Provide a direct topic sentence stating your stance, then compare with concise, specific details using linking words (e.g., “however,” “on the other hand”). Avoid vague words like “soberness” and choose precise adjectives such as “tranquillity” or “serenity.” Keep to 2–3 sentences.

範例: I don’t have a strong preference because both have unique appeal. Urban views interest me for their striking architecture and lively streets, whereas rural views attract me for their tranquillity and natural colours.

建議: Be careful with comparative claims and generalisations about countries. State your opinion clearly, give one specific reason and a concise example. Avoid repeating phrases and complete the final sentence. Use neutral language (e.g., “seem more developed in some areas”) rather than absolute statements.

範例: I enjoy scenes in my own country, but I often prefer views abroad because some cities abroad appear cleaner and have more contemporary architecture. For instance, when I visited Singapore, its waterfront skyline and well-maintained parks made a strong impression on me.

× I love to capture the beauty and the scenic, uh, beauty of the nature in my camera so that I can view them later and remember the moments.

✓ I love capturing the scenic beauty of nature with my camera so that I can view it later and remember the moments.

Use 'love capturing' (verb + -ing) is more natural than 'love to capture' when describing a hobby; this fits Grammar Problem Type 10. Also 'the scenic, uh, beauty of the nature' has extra article and hesitation; 'scenic beauty of nature' is concise. 'in my camera' is incorrect preposition; use 'with my camera' (preposition correction, but primary fix is verb form). 'them' refers to 'beauty' which is uncountable, so use 'it'. Suggestion: prefer gerund after 'love' for ongoing activities and match pronouns to noun number and use correct preposition 'with'.

× Like for example in urban areas, the structure of the building and the architecture may be very attractive and whereas in the rural areas the natural beauty and the soberness in the environment is the beauty.

✓ For example, in urban areas the structure of buildings and the architecture may be very attractive, whereas in rural areas the natural beauty and the calm environment are appealing.

Sentence has incorrect and redundant conjunction use ('and whereas') and awkward phrasing; this fits Grammar Problem Type 16. Also fixed singular/plural 'structure of the building' to 'structure of buildings' (plural) and 'is the beauty' to a clearer predicate. Suggestion: use 'whereas' to contrast clauses and avoid redundant connectors; ensure subject-verb agreement and natural adjective choice ('calm' instead of 'soberness').

× I like the views in my country but I prefer the ones in the other because I feel like in the other countries there is more cleanliness and the architecture and the technology has improved much better than in India.

✓ I like the views in my country, but I prefer those in other countries because I feel that other countries are cleaner and their architecture and technology have improved more than in India.

Original uses 'the ones in the other' and 'in the other countries' which are incorrect demonstrative/pronoun uses; this matches Grammar Problem Type 12. Also corrected agreement: 'architecture and technology have improved' (plural subject requires 'have') and 'improved more' is correct comparative rather than 'much better'. Suggestion: use 'those' for plural views, 'other countries' without 'the', and ensure verb agrees with compound subject.

× And so I feel like the countries other than India are more developed and I love to prefer their views and their.

✓ So I feel that countries other than India are more developed, and I prefer their views.

Sentence ends abruptly and uses 'I love to prefer their views and their' which is incorrect pronoun/redundant; this is Grammar Problem Type 12. 'Love to prefer' is awkward; simply 'prefer' suffices. Removed trailing 'their' and tightened structure. Suggestion: avoid redundant verbs and ensure each pronoun has a clear noun referent.