旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 「because」で理由を述べた後、内容を自然に分けるために「Also」や「Moreover」などのつなぎ言葉を使うと、より論理的になります。「the scenery of the sky」はやや不自然なので、「the view outside」や「the scenery below」を使いましょう。また、「I feel like flying」は面白い表現ですが、「It makes me feel as if I were flying」のようにすると、より自然で具体的です。

範例: Yes, I definitely prefer sitting by the window because I enjoy looking at the view outside. I also like taking photos of the scenery, especially when we are flying over mountains or the coastline. It makes me feel as if I were flying.

建議: 文法上、「took us a traveling」は不自然なので、「took us on a trip」と言いましょう。また、「We enjoyed many delicious foods and sightseeing」は、「We ate lots of delicious food and visited several tourist attractions」のように、食事と観光を別の動詞で表現すると明確です。最初に答えを直接述べ、その後に旅行先や具体的な思い出を、つなぎ言葉を使って説明してください。

範例: Yes, I did. When I was five, my grandfather took my family on a long trip to South Korea. We ate lots of delicious food and visited several tourist attractions. I was very young, but I still remember how exciting the journey was.

× I prefer to sit by the window because I can see the scenery of the sky, I like taking photos and I feel like flying.

✓ I prefer to sit by the window because I can see the scenery outside, take photos, and feel like I am flying.

The original sentence contains a comma splice: two independent clauses are joined only by a comma. The ideas after because should also be parallel. Use the same verb pattern, such as see, take, and feel, and connect the ideas within one clear sentence.

× Yes, when I was five years old, my grandfather took us a traveling We went to South Korea and we enjoyed many delicious foods and sightseeing.

✓ Yes, when I was five years old, my grandfather took us on a trip. We went to South Korea, where we enjoyed many delicious foods and went sightseeing.

The verb take requires the preposition on when referring to a trip: take someone on a trip. The expression a traveling is not grammatically appropriate here, so use a trip instead.

× Yes, when I was five years old, my grandfather took us a traveling We went to South Korea and we enjoyed many delicious foods and sightseeing.

✓ Yes, when I was five years old, my grandfather took us on a trip. We went to South Korea, where we enjoyed many delicious foods and went sightseeing.

The original contains two complete sentences joined without appropriate punctuation. Separate them with a period. Also, enjoyed many delicious foods and sightseeing is not parallel because enjoyed is followed by a noun phrase and sightseeing is used awkwardly. Use went sightseeing to express the activity correctly.