旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Улучшите связность и грамматику: начните с чёткого топик‑предложения, затем добавьте одно‑два конкретных примера. Избегайте междометий (uh, umm) и ненужных повторов. Постарайтесь использовать правильные времена (I went, I saw) и подходящие слова (view, landscape, take photos).

範例: Yes, I usually prefer to sit by the window when I travel because I enjoy the view. For example, two days ago I flew to Ghana and I watched the coast and busy streets from my window seat. I also took several photos of the landscape because I like capturing new places.

建議: Сделайте ответ более структурированным: сначала ответьте прямо (Yes/No), затем добавьте одно конкретное воспоминание с деталями (когда, с кем, что увидели). Уберите лишние паузы и местоимения в неправильных формах. Используйте правильные времена и точные описания (a historical city, visited, memorable).

範例: Yes, I did have a long journey with my family when I was a child. For instance, three years ago we visited the historical city of Bukhara together; I remember the beautiful ancient buildings and colorful bazaars, which made the trip very memorable for me.

× I just like when I go to the different places, of course I sit by the window when traveling.

✓ I just like going to different places; of course I sit by the window when traveling.

The original sentence uses 'I just like when I go to the different places', which is awkward English. After verbs of liking, a gerund (verb+ing) is commonly used to describe activities (like going). Use 'going to different places' instead of 'when I go to the different places'. Also remove the unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'different places'. Use a semicolon or conjunction to join the two related clauses for clarity.

× I think that 2 days ago I got to say uh, for Ghana and I see the busy window and uh, take picture landscape and different things.

✓ I think that two days ago I went to Ghana; I saw the busy streets, looked out the window, and took pictures of the landscapes and other things.

Multiple tense and verb form errors: 'got to say' is incorrect; the past tense of 'go' is 'went'. 'I see' should be past tense 'I saw' to match 'two days ago'. 'Take picture' should be past 'took pictures' and needs plural or article. Also 'busy window' is incorrect; likely 'busy streets' or 'busy view' is intended. Use consistent past tense for completed actions and correct noun forms ('landscapes').

× Is of course, uh, sometimes I remember, umm, because the different places, uh, my family, uh, three years ago, I and my family members, uh, go to the, uh, Bukhara city.

✓ Of course. Sometimes I remember that three years ago my family and I went to Bukhara city.

The original sentence has poor word order, unnecessary fillers, and lacks a clear main clause. Place the time expression 'three years ago' appropriately and use the past tense 'went'. Use the natural subject order 'my family and I' rather than 'I and my family members'. Remove filler words for clarity.

× This is very beautiful for me in, uh, historical city.

✓ It was a very beautiful historical city for me.

The phrase 'in, uh, historical city' is incorrect. Use 'a historical city' with the article 'a'. Match tense to previous sentence (past) so use 'It was'. Put adjectives before the noun ('beautiful historical city'). 'For me' is acceptable but place it after the description for natural word order.