旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答は簡潔で直接的ですが、文法ミスと不自然な表現があり、論理のつながりも改善できます。具体的には：1) 文法（現在形と過去分詞、冠詞や代名詞の使い方）を直す。2) 接続詞で文を滑らかに繋ぐ（for example, because, so）。3) 語彙を自然な表現に置き換える（e.g. “it makes me excited”ではなく“it excites me”など）。4) 文章は最大5文に抑え、主語と動詞を明確にする。練習として、まず短いトピック文を作り、その後に理由と具体例を一つ加えるとよいでしょう。

範例: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when I travel because I enjoy looking at the scenery. For example, seeing mountains or the coastline makes the trip more interesting and excites me. It also helps me relax and pass the time more quickly.

建議: 答えは内容がわかるものの、文法ミスと不完全な文が多く、具体性が不足しています。改善点：1) 不足している語（例えば主語や動詞）を補う。2) 接続語（when, so, because）を適切に使って文をつなぐ。3) より具体的な描写（どの湖か、どんな活動をしたか）を一つ加えると説得力が上がる。4) 文は5文以内にまとめ、過去形の一致に注意する。

範例: Yes, I did. I remember a long drive to Hokkaido with my family when I was a child. We visited lakes and mountains, and I was fascinated by the vast landscapes. For instance, I still recall stopping by a clear lake where we had a picnic, which made me very curious about nature.

× I like to sit by the window when traveling the view which I can see.

✓ I like to sit by the window when traveling because the view I can see makes me curious about the trip.

The original sentence lacks a connector between the clauses and uses an incorrect structure after 'traveling'. Use 'because' to link the reason and restructure 'the view which I can see' to the more natural 'the view I can see'. Also change the verb phrase to 'makes me curious about the trip' to express cause and effect correctly.

× Make me curious about the trip and it encouraged my exciting.

✓ It makes me curious about the trip and it excites me.

The original uses imperative 'Make' incorrectly and the adjective 'exciting' with a possessive 'my', which is ungrammatical here. Replace 'Make' with 'It makes' to form a proper clause. Use the verb 'excites' with the object 'me' to express feeling: 'it excites me'. Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct verb-object order.

× Yes, I remember my long drive to Hokkaido when my with my family when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I remember a long drive to Hokkaido with my family when I was a child.

The original sentence contains word duplication and incorrect possession ('my with my family'). Remove the extra 'my' and use the indefinite article 'a' before 'long drive'. Maintain past reference with 'remember' + time phrase 'when I was a child'.

× At that time their vast nature such as lake and mountains.

✓ At that time there was vast nature, such as lakes and mountains.

The sentence lacks a proper verb and misuses 'their'. Use the existential construction 'there was' to introduce existence in the past, and pluralize 'lake' to 'lakes'. Alternatively, 'there were' could be used, but 'there was vast nature' treats 'nature' as uncountable; adding examples requires plural nouns: 'such as lakes and mountains'.

× So I was curious about the nature.

✓ So I became curious about nature.

While grammatically acceptable, 'was curious about the nature' is awkward; 'nature' is usually uncountable without 'the'. Use 'became curious' to indicate a change of state caused by the experience and drop 'the' before 'nature'.