旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and small grammar errors (e.g., "every single detail," "journey" not "journal"). Also vary vocabulary (e.g., "view"/"scenery"/"landscape").

範例: Yes, I usually prefer a window seat because I enjoy the scenery. For example, on long flights I like watching sunsets and cloud formations, which helps me relax. Also, being able to look outside makes the journey feel more interesting and less tiring.

建議: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific example with chronological or descriptive details. Use linking words (e.g., "for example", "because", "so") and correct grammar ("my family and I," "happier"). Avoid vague phrases and unnecessary repetition.

範例: Yes, I often had long family trips as a child because my family loved travelling. For example, we once flew to Thailand on a long flight; although I had a young sister with us, the trip was comfortable because we played games and watched movies together. Those journeys were memorable and helped us discover new places.

× I enjoy the scene view.

✓ I enjoy the scenery.

The phrase 'scene view' is not natural English. 'Scenery' is the correct uncountable noun for landscape views. Use 'scenery' instead of combining 'scene' and 'view'.

× You can see every single details up in the sky and even if you're traveling for a long flight, you can see the sunset.

✓ You can see every single detail in the sky, and even on a long flight you can see the sunset.

'Every single' requires a singular noun, so use 'detail' not 'details'. Also 'up in the sky' is wordy; 'in the sky' is idiomatic. Replace 'if you're traveling for a long flight' with 'on a long flight' to match the context and correct preposition usage.

× Enjoy every single details of it.

✓ Enjoy every single detail of it.

Imperative verb 'Enjoy' is fine but must match noun number: 'every single' + singular 'detail'. Also better to place 'of it' after 'detail' as corrected.

× It makes the journal much more relaxing, fun and it.

✓ It makes the journey much more relaxing and fun.

'Journal' is the wrong word; context requires 'journey'. The original ends with 'and it', creating a fragment. Combine adjectives with 'and' and remove the extraneous 'it'.

× Yes I did, me and my family went on a very long journey because we love to travel in our free time.

✓ Yes, I did. My family and I went on a very long journey because we love to travel in our free time.

Use proper subject order 'My family and I' rather than 'me and my family' and separate clauses into sentences for clarity. Also add commas appropriately.

× It is one of our hobbies, we find exciting places to discover.

✓ It is one of our hobbies; we find exciting places to discover.

This is a run-on comma splice. Use a semicolon or separate sentences. Tense and verb forms are acceptable; punctuation correction improves grammar.

× It makes us much more happier.

✓ It makes us much happier.

'More' and '-er' should not be used together. Use either 'more happy' or 'happier'; standard usage is 'much happier'.

× And once we travel all along to Thailand, it was a very long flight and I have a little sister, but it was easy for us because we enjoyed that.

✓ Once we traveled all the way to Thailand, it was a very long flight. I have a little sister, but it was easy for us because we enjoyed it.

Use past tense 'traveled' to match 'it was'. 'All along to' is incorrect; say 'all the way to'. Split into two sentences for clarity. Replace 'enjoyed that' with 'enjoyed it' for natural pronoun reference.