旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct some grammar and word choice. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two clear supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., “capture in my eyes”, “keep them in my memory and I want to capture”). Use correct verb forms and articles.

範例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, snow-covered mountains often catch my eye, and I find their shapes and colours unforgettable. Because they are so beautiful, I try to remember them or take photos to keep the memory.

建議: Good content and relevant vocabulary, but reduce repetition and tighten sentence structure. Use singular/plural correctly (e.g., “scenery” not “sceneries”; “family” singular as a group) and link ideas more smoothly with connectors like “so” or “and then.”

範例: Yes, I often take photos of rivers and mountains when I travel because I find them breathtaking. I usually share the best shots with friends and family, and sometimes I post a few on social media so others can see the view.

建議: Answer directly and finish your thought. Correct small errors (extra words like “I it”) and avoid filler phrases such as “for example” when not providing an example. Add one specific supporting detail with a linking word to make the answer coherent.

範例: I prefer the sea because it gives me a strong sense of freedom. For instance, when I sit on the beach and watch the sunset, I feel calm and refreshed, which helps me relax after a busy week.

× Yes, I do look out of the window at the scenery when travelling by bus or car for example.

✓ Yes, I do look out of the window at the scenery when travelling by bus or car, for example.

Missing comma before the parenthetical phrase 'for example'. This is punctuation, but within given list the closest issue is incorrect use of the present participle? Actually the sentence uses 'travelling' correctly. However the original lacks necessary punctuation and flows awkwardly. Suggest adding a comma to separate the example. Also consider removing 'do' for naturalness: 'Yes, I look out of the window at the scenery when travelling by bus or car, for example.'

× The snow covered mountains always capture in my eyes and it's really amazing that I want to keep them in my memory and I want to capture.

✓ The snow-covered mountains always catch my eye, and I find them so amazing that I want to keep them in my memory and capture them in photos.

Multiple issues: 'snow covered' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective 'snow-covered'; 'capture in my eyes' is incorrect collocation — use 'catch my eye'; 'it's really amazing that I want to' is awkward—'I find them so amazing that I want to' is natural; sentence lacked object for 'capture' — add 'them' and clarify 'capture them in photos'. This fits sentence structure errors and adjective formation.

× Yeah, I take a variety of photos of the breathtaking sceneries such as the rivers and mountains, and I always enjoy sharing them with my friends and my families, and sometimes I also post them on my social media.

✓ Yeah, I take a variety of photos of breathtaking scenery such as rivers and mountains, and I always enjoy sharing them with my friends and my family, and sometimes I also post them on my social media.

'Scenery' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized as 'sceneries'; use 'scenery' or 'scenic views'. 'Friends' is plural (correct) but 'families' is incorrect here — use 'my family' to refer to the speaker's family. Also remove unnecessary 'the' before 'rivers and mountains' and 'the breathtaking' for smoother phrasing.

× I prefer the sea because I adore the sense of freedom.

✓ I prefer the sea because I adore the feeling of freedom.

'Sense of freedom' is understandable but 'feeling of freedom' is more natural collocation in this context. This is a stylistic/sentence structure improvement.

× When I am on the seaside I it helps me feel calm and for example, watching the sunset is always amazing and.

✓ When I am at the seaside, it helps me feel calm; for example, watching the sunset is always amazing.

Multiple problems: 'on the seaside' should be 'at the seaside'; extra word 'I' is erroneous and must be removed; missing comma after introductory clause; trailing 'and' is incomplete. Rephrase to two clear clauses and add punctuation. This is sentence structure error.