建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cevap kısa ve anlaşılır fakat telaffuz hataları ve dilbilgisi sorunları var. ‘toll Billings’ yerine ‘tall buildings’ demeli ve cümlenin yapısı düzeltilmeli. Ayrıca konu cümlesiyle başlayıp bir destekleyici detay (ör. kaç katlı oldukları veya nerede oldukları) verilirken bağlaç kullanın. Örneğin: “Yes, there are a couple of tall apartment buildings near my home. They have about 15 floors each, so they look quite imposing from my street.”

範例: Yes, there are a couple of tall apartment buildings near my home. They are about 15 storeys high, so they dominate the neighborhood and are easy to spot from my street.

建議: İyi fikirler var ama tekrarlar ve yapısal sorunlar dikkat çekiyor. Kısa, doğal bir konu cümlesi ile başlayıp bir bağlaç kullanarak destekleyici örnek verin. Gereksiz tekrarları atın ve daha uygun kelimeler seçin (ör. ‘fashionable’ yerine ‘modern’, ‘popular in anywhere’ yerine ‘well-known’).

範例: It depends. If a building is historic or architecturally interesting, I usually take photos of it; otherwise I don’t bother taking pictures of ordinary buildings.

建議: Cevap niyet belirtiliyor ama karışık ve bazı yanlış ifadeler (ör. ‘Lower Museum’, ‘I would like to visit my future’) var. Spesifik bir yapı seçin, nedenini açıklayın ve bağlantı ifadeleri kullanın. Ayrıca doğru isimleri kullanmaya dikkat edin (ör. ‘the Louvre Museum’).

範例: Yes, I would love to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris because I admire its design and the view from the top. I’m also keen on visiting the Louvre Museum to see famous artworks like the Mona Lisa.

建議: Düşünce açık fakat dilbilgisi ve akıcılık sorunları var; cümleler belirsiz ve tekrar eden ifadeler bulunuyor. Net bir konu cümlesi kurun, iki destekleyici neden verin (ör. daha fazla mahremiyet, bahçe) ve bağlaçlarla bağlayın. Fazla tekrarları kaldırın ve doğru modal yapılarını kullanın.

範例: No, I wouldn’t like to live in a tall building. I prefer a house with a garden because it offers more privacy and space for relaxing, whereas apartments can be noisy and restrict what you can do.

× Yeah, there are a couple of toll Billings nearby my home to they are, they have at least 15 apartments.

✓ Yeah, there are a couple of tall buildings near my home; they each have at least 15 apartments.

The error is using incorrect singular/plural forms and misspelled words. 'a couple of' requires a plural noun 'buildings'. 'toll Billings' is a misspelling of 'tall buildings'. The clause 'to they are' is ungrammatical; replace with a clearer clause 'they each have' to show each building contains apartments. Suggestion: use correct spelling and ensure noun number matches quantifiers.

× So they are quite tall buildings and I live nearby there.

✓ So they are quite tall buildings and I live nearby.

Using both 'nearby' and 'there' together is redundant and unidiomatic. 'Nearby' by itself functions as an adverb meaning 'close by'. Remove 'there' for correct usage.

× Depends on the situation.

✓ It depends on the situation.

This sentence lacks an explicit subject and finite verb. In spoken informal English 'Depends on the situation' appears, but for correct grammar include the subject 'it' and the verb 'depends'.

× For example, if the building is fashionable or historic or popular in anywhere, I take the picture of that building, but but it if it is unnecessary or ordinary building, I don't think that it's necessary to take the picture of that building.

✓ For example, if a building is fashionable, historic, or popular anywhere, I take a picture of it, but if it is unnecessary or an ordinary building, I don't think it's necessary to photograph it.

Errors: awkward adjective phrasing 'popular in anywhere' -> 'popular anywhere'; article misuse 'the picture' -> 'a picture'; redundant repetition 'but but it'; missing article before 'ordinary building' -> 'an ordinary building'; clumsy pronoun references. Suggestions: use 'a' for unspecified items, use 'it' to refer back to 'building', and simplify structure.

× Yes, I would like to visit Eiffel Tower in Paris in my future and there are a couple of touristic places like Lower Museum in France or different museums in at other parts of the world. I would like to visit my future.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris in the future, and there are several tourist places like the Louvre Museum in France and other museums around the world that I would like to visit.

Errors: missing definite article 'the' before 'Eiffel Tower'; 'in my future' is unnatural — use 'in the future'; 'touristic' is nonstandard, use 'tourist'; 'Lower Museum' is a misspelling of 'Louvre Museum'; 'in at other parts' is incorrect preposition combination; redundant 'I would like to visit my future' is ungrammatical. Suggestions: use 'the' for well-known monuments, correct proper nouns, and use natural time expressions.

× I wouldn't want it because I think having a home with garden would have more privilege than an apartment home because an apartment home, there are so many neighbors of yours and that's why you get a be quiet.

✓ I wouldn't want that because I think having a home with a garden would be more desirable than an apartment, because in an apartment there are many neighbors and you have to be quiet.

Issues: wrong pronoun 'it' -> 'that' (acceptable), missing article 'a garden', awkward modal phrasing 'would have more privilege' -> 'would be more desirable', incorrect noun phrase 'apartment home' simplified to 'apartment', and ungrammatical phrase 'you get a be quiet' -> 'you have to be quiet'. Suggestion: use appropriate modal verbs and collocations (have to be quiet), include necessary articles.

× Sometimes you don't. You shouldn't make so much noise and that's why you cannot.

✓ Sometimes you can't. You shouldn't make so much noise, so you are not allowed to.

Original has unclear pronoun references and awkward modal use. 'Sometimes you don't' is incomplete; specify 'can't' or 'don't' followed by verb. 'That's why you cannot' is vague — 'cannot' needs a verb or be rephrased. Suggestion: use complete clauses ('can't [verb]') and clarify the intended restriction (e.g., 'you are not allowed to').