建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid contradictory or incorrect phrases (e.g. "especially that I live in an urban area" is confusing). Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

範例: No, there aren't many tall buildings near my home. I live about an hour from the city, so the area mostly has small houses and basic neighborhood shops, which makes the skyline quite low compared with downtown.

建議: Answer directly and give a clear reason or condition. Correct grammar and complete the thought. Use a linking word such as "but" or "however" and provide a specific example.

範例: I don't usually photograph buildings, but when I travel abroad I often take pictures of interesting skyscrapers because their architectural designs are unique and different from those at home.

建議: Lead with a direct answer then give a clear, precise reason. Avoid filler phrases and complete sentences without fragments. Use linking words like "because" and give one specific detail about what you want to see.

範例: Yes, I'd like to visit the Empire State Building because it's iconic. From the top I would enjoy the panoramic view of New York City's skyline and the dense urban architecture.

建議: Give a clear stance in the first sentence and support it with one or two specific reasons. Remove repetitions and sentence fragments. Use linking words like "however" or "but" to contrast opinions and finish your thought.

範例: I don't have a strong preference, but if I had the choice I'd live in a tall building because it offers a better panoramic view of the city and more natural light.

× There aren't a lot of tall buildings in my home, especially that I live in an urban area.

✓ There aren't a lot of tall buildings near my home, especially because I don't live in an urban area.

The original sentence misuses 'in my home' and 'especially that'. 'In my home' suggests inside the house; 'near my home' fits the question about nearby buildings. 'Especially that I live in an urban area' is ungrammatical; use 'especially because' and correct the meaning to match speaker: likely they meant they do not live in an urban area. Use clear conjunctions to link reasons.

× Most tall buildings can be widely seen in cities and I live an hour away from the city, so it's usually just small houses and basic neighborhood.

✓ Most tall buildings are commonly seen in cities, and I live an hour away from the city, so it's usually just small houses and basic neighborhoods.

Use 'are commonly seen' rather than 'can be widely seen' for natural phrasing. 'Basic neighborhood' should be plural 'basic neighborhoods' to match 'small houses' and general meaning (pluralization). Maintain article 'the city' is acceptable since a specific city was mentioned.

× I don't usually take photos of buildings, however if I am in different country there are many skyscrapers that you can see especially that architecture designs in.

✓ I don't usually take photos of buildings; however, if I am in a different country there are many skyscrapers to see, especially because of the architectural designs.

Several issues: missing article 'a' before 'different country'; run-on sentence needs punctuation. 'There are many skyscrapers that you can see' is awkward; 'skyscrapers to see' or 'you can see many skyscrapers' is better. 'Especially that architecture designs in' is ungrammatical; use 'because of the architectural designs' and use the adjective 'architectural' (not noun) before 'designs'.

× I would like to visit the Empire State Building. The Empire State Building is very famous and I would like to be on top of it to see the. Urban construction of New York City as a whole.

✓ I would like to visit the Empire State Building. It is very famous, and I would like to be on top of it to see the urban construction of New York City as a whole.

Fragment: 'to see the. Urban construction' incorrectly splits and capitalizes 'Urban'. Combine into one sentence. Replacing the repeated noun with 'It' avoids repetition. 'Urban construction' is fine but should be lowercase and part of the same sentence.

× It doesn't really matter at all where I live, but if I had a chance to live in a tall building I would probably would.

✓ It doesn't really matter where I live, but if I had the chance to live in a tall building I probably would.

Redundant 'at all' is optional and can be omitted for conciseness. 'If I had a chance' -> 'if I had the chance' is more natural. The phrase 'I would probably would' repeats the modal 'would'; remove the extra 'would'.

× Being able to live on top of the building means a better view, a better panoramic view of the.

✓ Being able to live at the top of the building would mean a better, more panoramic view of the city.

Original ends with 'of the.' which is incomplete. Use 'at the top' rather than 'on top of' for naturalness, and 'would mean' matches hypothetical condition. Add 'city' to complete the object and 'more panoramic' is a clearer modifier.