建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장 구조와 문법 오류를 바로잡고, 응답을 더 간결하고 명확하게 만드세요. 먼저 간단한 주제문으로 시작한 뒤 구체적인 세부사항(건물 수, 용도, 위치 등)을 연결어를 사용해 덧붙이세요. 예: 불필요한 반복을 줄이고, 단수/복수와 관사(a/the) 사용을 확인하세요.

範例: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, there is a complex called Metapolis with four high-rise blocks, and it also contains a movie theater and shops, so it’s quite noticeable in my town.

建議: 의도를 명확히 표현하고 문장을 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 부정 표현을 사용할 때 이유를 분명히 말하고, 연결어(for example, because, so)를 사용해 설명을 덧붙이세요. 또한 어휘 선택을 바로잡아 감정(feelings)이 아닌 사진 대상(target)을 정확히 표현하세요.

範例: Not really. I usually prefer photographing nature rather than buildings because I enjoy capturing mountains and landscapes; buildings rarely inspire me, so I rarely take pictures of them.

建議: 목적과 이유를 명확히 하고 반복과 어색한 표현을 제거하세요. 구체적인 이유(영화의 어떤 장면, 개인적 흥미 등)를 덧붙이면 더 설득력 있습니다. 문장 연결을 위해 because, for example, so 등을 사용하세요.

範例: I would like to visit the Empire State Building in New York because I’m a big movie fan. For example, I’ve seen it in many films and I’d love to see the observation deck and the skyline views in person.

建議: 명확하고 자연스러운 의견 제시를 연습하세요. 우려하는 점(예: 안전, 소음, 불편함)을 구체적으로 언급하고, 대안(예: 단독주택)을 제시하면 좋습니다. 불필요한 중복(uh, I I)과 어색한 어순을 줄이세요.

範例: No, I wouldn’t like to live in a tall building. I’m worried about safety and evacuation during emergencies, and I prefer a house because it feels more private and spacious.

× And yes there are nearby my home, there are old Metapolis that that are 4 buildings in my town and there are movie theater and replace someone. Leave.

✓ Yes, there are tall buildings near my home. There is an old complex called Metapolis with four buildings in my town, and there are also a movie theater and some shops.

The student used incorrect pronouns and unclear references (e.g., 'that that', 'replace someone. Leave.'). Also number and article use were incorrect. I replaced confusing phrases with clear nouns and corrected articles and plurality: 'there is an old complex' for a single named complex, 'four buildings' for plural count, and 'a movie theater and some shops' for natural collocation. Suggestions: Use clear noun phrases instead of vague pronouns; check singular/plural and use appropriate articles.

× I don't take a photo of feelings. I prefer to take photo of nature on mountain. I don't attract it by buildings. Just yes.

✓ I don't take photos of buildings. I prefer to take photos of nature in the mountains. Buildings do not attract me.

The student used incorrect nouns and quantifiers ('a photo' vs 'photos') and wrong prepositions ('on mountain'). 'Feelings' and 'attract it by buildings' were misused. I corrected pluralization and prepositions and rephrased for clarity. Suggestions: Use plural 'photos' for general habits, use 'in the mountains' for natural landscapes, and express preference with 'Buildings do not attract me.'

× I think I want to go Empire State Buildings in New York because I'm a big movie fan.

✓ I think I want to go to the Empire State Building in New York because I'm a big movie fan.

Missing preposition 'to' before a place and incorrect article and pluralization: 'Empire State Building' is singular and needs the definite article 'the'. Also 'Buildings' was incorrectly pluralized. Suggestions: Use 'go to' before places, use 'the' with famous singular buildings, and keep correct singular form.

× Empire State Building is coming is occult Empire State Building occult or a lot of movies while I watch it, so I really want to go there sometimes.

✓ The Empire State Building appears in a lot of movies that I watch, so I really want to visit it sometime.

The original sentence has severe word order and word choice errors ('is coming is occult', 'occult' misused). I rephrased to a clear relative clause: 'appears in a lot of movies that I watch' and adjusted tense and adverb ('sometime'). Suggestions: Keep subject-verb-object order and use 'appear in' for appearances in films; use 'visit' or 'go to' for places.

× Umm, I don't want to leave, you know, core building because I think it is it has some risks because of the tall building and I I prefer just uh. Not apartment.

✓ Um, I don't want to live in a tall building because I think it has some risks, so I prefer not to live in an apartment.

The student used 'leave' instead of 'live' and had redundant phrases ('it is it has'). I corrected the verb to 'live', simplified the sentence, fixed article and preposition use ('in an apartment'), and removed repetitions. Suggestions: Distinguish similar-sounding verbs (leave vs live), avoid repetition, and use 'live in an apartment' for clarity.