建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise, correct vocabulary and grammar, and avoid fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Use linking words for fluency.

範例: Yes. I live in the city center of Bengal, so there are many high-rise buildings around my condo. For example, a cluster of modern towers nearby gives me a very impressive panoramic city view.

建議: Avoid hesitations and repetition. Give a direct short answer then add a specific reason and an example using a linking word (e.g., 'but' or 'however').

範例: Not usually, but I do take photos when a building has an unusual design. For instance, I photographed a spiral-shaped library last year because its facade was very striking.

建議: Give a clear direct response and improve grammar. If you plan to visit a specific place, name it and explain why with one or two concise reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas.

範例: At the moment I don't have a particular building in mind, but if I visit Bangkok I would like to go to the tallest skyscraper. From its observation deck I could see the whole city, which would be a great way to get an overview and take photos.

建議: Structure your answer: give one clear position (or two balanced views) and explain with concise reasons. Correct vocabulary (panoramic, balcony) and reduce hesitations. Use a linking word to show contrast.

範例: I have mixed feelings. On one hand, I would enjoy living in a tall building because the balcony would offer a beautiful panoramic view of the city. On the other hand, I am worried about safety, especially after an earthquake, so I might prefer a low-rise home for peace of mind.

× Yes, there are so many high rise bidding around my condo as I am living in the city center of the Bengal.

✓ Yes, there are so many high-rise buildings around my condo as I am living in the city center of Bengal.

Incorrect or missing articles and wrong word forms: 'high rise' should be hyphenated as 'high-rise' when used as adjective, and 'bidding' is a wrong word form; correct noun is 'buildings'. 'the Bengal' is incorrect because 'Bengal' as a region or name typically does not need 'the' here. Use 'in the city center of Bengal' or simply 'in Bengal.' Also remove redundant 'the' before 'Bengal'.

× There are so many tall buildings, uh, within the city, also around my condo.

✓ There are so many tall buildings within the city and around my condo.

No verb error but sentence structure and conjunction use: replace comma splice and filler 'uh' and use 'and' to join two related phrases. This improves clarity and corrects sentence flow.

× It, it, it was quite, it is quite, uh, breathtaking and city view.

✓ It is quite breathtaking and the city views are beautiful.

Tense inconsistency: speaker alternates between past and present. Use present tense to describe a current view. Also 'city view' should be plural 'city views' or 'the city view' and include article 'the.' Rephrase for naturalness.

× Umm, not really, but because I'm not, uh, a kind of person to take photos for, uh, buildings, uh.

✓ Not really, because I'm not the kind of person who takes photos of buildings.

Incorrect phrase 'a kind of person to take photos for' and tense/structure: use present simple 'takes' for habitual action and 'of buildings' is correct preposition. Use relative clause 'who takes' and article 'the' before 'kind of person.'

× However, I'm quite interested in some architectural design, so if I uh, saw, uh, a unique design, I'm eager to take the picture.

✓ However, I'm quite interested in architectural design, so if I see a unique design, I'm eager to take a picture.

Tense error and verb form: 'saw' is past; use present simple 'see' in conditional real present. 'Take the picture' is overly specific; 'take a picture' is natural. Also remove 'some' before 'architectural design' which is uncountable here.

× Uh, frankly speaking, uh, in my mind currently, I don't have any bidding that I would like to visit.

✓ Frankly speaking, at the moment I don't have any building that I would like to visit.

Wrong word 'bidding' should be 'building.' 'In my mind currently' is awkward; use 'at the moment.' Article 'any building' is correct.

× Uh, but uh, when I start, uh, coming to the Bangkok, I would like to, uh, go to the tallest building in the, in the city as, uh, it can, the sky, the roof door can see the can make, can view the whole city.

✓ But when I come to Bangkok, I would like to go to the tallest building in the city because from the rooftop you can see the whole city.

Tense and article issues: use present simple 'come' for future planned visit with 'would like.' Remove 'the' before 'Bangkok.' 'Rooftop' is one word; phrase 'the sky, the roof door' is incorrect — use 'from the rooftop you can see.' Simplify redundant modals 'can'.

× Uh, actually, I'm in my mind, I have two OP opinions.

✓ Actually, I have two opinions in mind.

Awkward word order and extra words: 'I'm in my mind' is incorrect; 'opinions in mind' or 'I have two opinions' is natural. Remove 'OP' which is unclear.

× Uh, when I was here and I really love to, uh, live in the tall building because I could see, uh, through the pegony, I could see the whole city or like whole city, like the Pandoramic view.

✓ When I was here I really loved living in a tall building because I could see the whole city and enjoy the panoramic view.

Tense and word choice: match past context 'when I was here' with past 'loved' and 'lived' or use 'loved living.' 'Could' is fine for past ability. Correct spelling: 'panoramic' and remove unclear 'pegony.' Use 'a tall building' and 'the panoramic view' or 'a panoramic view.'

× But after the earthquake, I'm afraid to live in the tall building.

✓ But after the earthquake, I'm afraid to live in a tall building.

Article error and tense/infinitive: use 'a tall building' (indefinite) not 'the tall building' unless referring to a specific building. 'Afraid to live' is acceptable, or 'afraid of living in a tall building' may be more natural.