建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid unnecessary specifics or unclear names, and use correct articles and prepositions. Use one or two supporting details and linking words for coherence.

範例: No, there aren't many tall buildings near my home. There are only several mid-rise apartment blocks nearby, because the tallest, most luxurious towers are concentrated in District 1 of Ho Chi Minh City.

建議: Keep answers natural and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas and be specific about frequency and reasons. Correct word forms and choose one noun form (photo/photos).

範例: Yes, I do, but not very often. Mainly I photograph impressive buildings like Landmark 81 when I travel, and I also take photos of my friends to capture memories.

建議: Use correct tense and articles, and avoid colloquial phrases like 'just seen'. Give a clear reason and one specific detail about why you want to visit. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the Bitexco Financial Tower in Ho Chi Minh City. I have seen photos of its unique helipad and modern design online, and I am curious to see the city view from its observation deck.

建議: Clarify and simplify. Avoid unclear or incorrect proper nouns. Use a topic sentence, then one or two specific reasons with correct grammar and natural linking words.

範例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building. For example, living in Landmark 81 would give me panoramic views of the city and easy access to shops and restaurants, which I find very appealing.

× Actually, there aren't so many tall buildings near my house, just several medium level apartments constructed nearby because all the tall and luxurious buildings are located in district one in 21 city including BTEC School or Landmark 81.

✓ Actually, there aren't many tall buildings near my house, just several medium-level apartment buildings constructed nearby because all the tall and luxurious buildings are located in District 1 in 21 City, including BTEC School and Landmark 81.

The phrase 'so many' is informal but acceptable; however 'several medium level apartments' mixes pluralization and modifier form: use 'medium-level apartment buildings' to describe multiple buildings. Also use 'many' rather than 'so many' for neutral register. 'District one' should be 'District 1' and 'or' between items should be 'and' when listing examples. Suggestions: hyphenate compound adjective 'medium-level' and use 'apartment buildings' for clarity.

× I just take a picture or take photos of some luxurious and magnificent building such as the Vitexical or Landmark 81 in Ho Chi Minh City.

✓ I just take pictures of some luxurious and magnificent buildings such as the Bitexco Tower or Landmark 81 in Ho Chi Minh City.

The student used singular/plural inconsistently and an incorrect building name. Use plural 'pictures' and 'buildings' when referring to more than one. Also 'the Vitexical' appears incorrect; likely 'Bitexco Tower'. Ensure proper noun correctness. When giving examples, plural nouns match 'some'.

× Moreover, I usually take photos of my friends when traveling to different places.

✓ Moreover, I usually take photos of my friends when I travel to different places.

The original mixes present simple 'I usually take' with a present participle clause 'when traveling'; while not strictly wrong, adding the subject 'I' and using present simple 'travel' makes the sentence clearer and consistent in tense. Suggestion: maintain explicit subject in time clauses for clarity.

× I just seen it on Internet which is very beautiful and I was overwhelmed by its magnificent design and luxury.

✓ I just saw it on the Internet; it is very beautiful, and I was overwhelmed by its magnificent design and luxury.

'Seen' is the past participle and requires an auxiliary (have/has); the correct simple past is 'saw'. Also 'on Internet' needs the article 'the Internet'. Split run-on clause into two parts for clarity and keep tense consistent: 'it is very beautiful' (general fact) and 'I was overwhelmed' (past reaction).

× Yes, if I have a chance, I would like to visit Bitexco building which is one of the most famous skycrapper in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

✓ Yes, if I have the chance, I would like to visit Bitexco Building, which is one of the most famous skyscrapers in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

Use the definite article 'the' with 'chance' in this context. 'Bitexco building' should be 'Bitexco Building' (proper noun capitalization). 'Skycrapper' is misspelled; correct is 'skyscraper', and since it is compared among many, use plural 'skyscrapers'. Also add a comma before the relative clause for readability.

× Personally, yes, I really like living in a luxurious and tall building, specifically landmark 81 Salah or boutique school building, because when we live in such tall building, we can have a chance to see the overview of the whole city and sightsee the beautiful landscape in all the time of the day.

✓ Personally, yes, I would really like to live in a luxurious, tall building, specifically Landmark 81 or a boutique apartment building, because when we live in such a tall building, we have the chance to see an overview of the whole city and enjoy the beautiful landscape at any time of day.

Several issues: 'living in' to 'live in' fits the conditional 'would like'. 'Landmark 81 Salah' is unclear—likely 'Landmark 81'; 'boutique school building' seems wrong, use 'boutique apartment building' if intended. Use articles: 'a luxurious, tall building' and 'such a tall building'. 'Have a chance to see the overview' is awkward—use 'have the chance to see an overview'. 'Sightsee the beautiful landscape in all the time of the day' is unidiomatic; use 'enjoy the beautiful landscape at any time of day'. Suggestions: correct proper nouns, use appropriate articles, and simplify phrases for natural English.