建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cần ngắn gọn, chính xác và sửa ngữ pháp. Tránh dùng thì không nhất quán ("when I live"); nên mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, rồi thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể. Ví dụ nêu khoảng cách hoặc ví dụ tòa nhà cụ thể để tăng tính cụ thể.

範例: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home. For example, the central business district is only ten minutes away and includes several modern skyscrapers such as the Sydney Tower, which dominate the skyline.

建議: Cần cải thiện mạch câu, ngữ pháp và tránh nói lặp lại. Dùng linking words để kết nối ý (e.g., "especially", "because"). Nên nêu ví dụ cụ thể về thiết bị hoặc phong cách chụp để câu rõ ràng hơn.

範例: Yes, I often take photos of buildings in my free time, especially when I travel to modern cities. I usually use my smartphone to capture interesting facades and geometric patterns because these photos help me remember the places I visited.

建議: Cần tránh tiếng ấp úng ("uh, umm") và sửa lỗi từ vựng/diễn đạt ("crowd building" không rõ). Trả lời trực tiếp rồi cung cấp lý do cụ thể và liên kết ý với cấu trúc rõ ràng. Nên nêu tên tòa nhà nếu biết và lý do muốn tham quan.

範例: Yes. I would like to visit the Crown building in Sydney because it is one of the largest landmark complexes in the city. I want to explore its architecture and invite my parents to enjoy the restaurants and entertainment there.

建議: Cần giảm lặp từ, sửa ngữ pháp (plural/singular, verb forms) và làm rõ lý do bằng các chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: view, tiện nghi). Dùng liên từ để nối ý thay vì lặp "because" hai lần.

範例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because the views from high floors are relaxing and entertaining. From there I could watch the busy streets below and enjoy facilities such as a gym or rooftop garden.

× Yes, there are numerous skyscrapers near where I live, especially when I live in Sydney, which is one of the most developed city in the world.

✓ Yes, there are numerous skyscrapers near where I live, especially when I am in Sydney, which is one of the most developed cities in the world.

The student used 'when I live in Sydney' incorrectly; use present continuous 'am' for a temporary situation and 'when I am in Sydney' fits context. Also 'one of the most developed city' has a singular/plural mismatch; it should be 'cities' because 'one of the' requires a plural noun. Suggestion: use 'when I am in Sydney' and 'cities'.

× Yes, I spend a lot of time taking photographs of buildings in my free time, especially when I go on a trip to other cities, which is very modern and developed.

✓ Yes, I spend a lot of time taking photographs of buildings in my free time, especially when I go on trips to other cities, which are very modern and developed.

The phrase 'a trip' conflicts with general statement; use plural 'trips' or change structure. Also 'other cities, which is very modern and developed' has subject-verb agreement error: 'cities' requires 'are'. Suggestion: use 'trips' and 'which are very modern and developed'.

× Uh, taking photos of this modern building make me feel it's helped me to capture the memories when I was going there.

✓ Taking photos of modern buildings makes me feel it helps me capture the memories of going there.

'Taking photos ... make' has subject-verb agreement error: singular gerund phrase 'Taking photos' takes singular verb 'makes'. 'it's helped me to capture' mixes tenses and unnecessary passive; use present 'helps me capture' for habitual effect. 'the memories when I was going there' is awkward; use 'the memories of going there'. Suggestion: use consistent present tense for habitual actions and correct verb agreement.

× I have a dream of having a chance to enter the crowd building in Sydney 'cause this is one of the largest and most expensive building in the city which I'm currently living, and also I want to, umm, invite my parents in order to enjoy the buildings.

✓ I have a dream of having a chance to enter the Crowded Building in Sydney, because it is one of the largest and most expensive buildings in the city where I currently live, and I also want to invite my parents to enjoy the buildings.

Several issues: 'crowd building' is unclear—if it's a name, capitalize; if not, use correct noun. 'one of the largest and most expensive building' requires plural 'buildings' after 'one of the'. 'which I'm currently living' is incorrect; correct form is 'where I currently live'. 'invite my parents in order to enjoy' is wordy; use 'invite my parents to enjoy'. Suggestion: correct noun usage, pluralize 'buildings', use 'where I live', and simplify infinitive phrase.

× Yes, I would love to have a chance to live in one of the tallest building in the world because I'm really like looking at the street and the cars and the people working on the street because it's for me, it feels really relaxed and entertained.

✓ Yes, I would love to have a chance to live in one of the tallest buildings in the world because I really like looking at the streets, the cars, and the people working on them; it makes me feel relaxed and entertained.

'one of the tallest building' needs plural 'buildings'. 'I'm really like looking' is incorrect: 'I really like looking' (not 'I'm'). 'the street' should be plural or referent matched: use 'streets' and 'people working on them'. 'because it's for me, it feels' is redundant and ungrammatical; rephrase to 'it makes me feel'. Suggestion: correct plurality, use simple present 'I like', and simplify clauses for clarity.