建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g., "Yes, Tehran is surrounded by many tall buildings"), use one or two specific examples with correct names, and avoid fillers. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "for example", "also").

範例: Yes, Tehran is surrounded by many tall buildings. For example, Milad Tower to the west and Azadi Tower in the city centre are well-known landmarks, and they attract many visitors.

建議: Make a clear topic sentence and provide a specific reason with one linking phrase. Correct grammar and pronoun use (e.g., "they connect me" not "they connected me"). Avoid repetition (pictures/photos).

範例: Yes, I enjoy photography and often take photos of historical buildings. For instance, I sometimes go out with friends to photograph old houses because their details and decorations make me feel connected to my ancestors.

建議: Provide a concise, chronological response and avoid repeating phrases. Correct small errors ("I went there last year, but I couldn't enter because it was closed"). Add a brief reason using a linking word like "because" or "as".

範例: Yes, I wanted to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai. I went there last year but couldn't go inside because it was closed; I still admire it because it is an architectural masterpiece that symbolizes Dubai's modern image.

建議: Give a direct clear answer first ("No, I wouldn't") then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Fix grammar ("needs a developed culture", "people in my country have always lived in traditional houses"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences maximum.

範例: No, I wouldn't like to live in a tall building. I feel high-rise living requires a developed urban culture, and in my country many people prefer traditional houses or mansions, so I would rather live in a mansion.

× Yes, very live in Tehran is surrounded by skyscrapers and highest buildings.

✓ Yes. I live in Tehran, which is surrounded by skyscrapers and high-rise buildings.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and missing connectors. 'Very' is inappropriate; 'live' needed a subject 'I' and should be connected with a relative clause 'which is surrounded'. 'Highest buildings' is unidiomatic; 'high-rise buildings' or 'tall buildings' is correct. Suggestion: start with 'I live in Tehran' and use 'which is surrounded by' to link the idea.

× for example Mila Tower in the West of Tehran and Azadi Tower in the city center.

✓ for example, Milad Tower in the west of Tehran and Azadi Tower in the city center.

Use of prepositions is mostly correct but capitalization and name spelling need correction. 'West' should be lowercase when used with 'of'. Also add a comma after 'for example' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: write 'Milad Tower in the west of Tehran' and 'Azadi Tower in the city center'.

× They are landmarks for umm people who come and visit Tehran and they are so popular.

✓ They are landmarks for people who come to visit Tehran, and they are very popular.

The phrase 'come and visit' is acceptable but 'come to visit' is more natural. 'Umm' is filler and should be omitted. Use 'very popular' instead of 'so popular' for formal clarity. Suggestion: remove fillers and use 'come to visit'.

× I am fond of photography and I like to take pictures and for instance, sometimes I go out with my friends and I capture pictures and photos of historical buildings.

✓ I am fond of photography, and I like to take pictures. For instance, sometimes I go out with my friends and take photos of historical buildings.

Sentence is wordy and repeats 'pictures and photos'. Use simple present 'take photos' rather than 'I capture pictures and photos', which is unnatural. Break into two sentences for clarity. Suggestion: remove redundancy and use 'take photos'.

× I like to they connected me, they connect me to my ancestors.

✓ I like them because they connect me to my ancestors.

Pronoun usage is incorrect: 'I like to they connected me' is ungrammatical. Use object pronoun 'them' to refer to buildings or photos, and present tense 'connect' for general truth. Suggestion: 'I like them because they connect me to my ancestors.'

× I went there last year, but I couldn't visit there because it was closed.

✓ I went there last year, but I couldn't visit because it was closed.

Redundant use of 'there' after 'visit' is unnecessary. Use past simple 'went' and 'couldn't' correctly. Suggestion: remove the extra 'there'.

× I think it's one of the architectural masterpieces all around the world and it's one of the most iconic buildings.

✓ I think it's one of the world's architectural masterpieces and one of the most iconic buildings.

'All around the world' is wordy; use the possessive form 'the world's' for concision. Combine ideas into one fluid sentence. Suggestion: 'one of the world's architectural masterpieces'.

× I think it represents the image of and the modern image of Dubai.

✓ I think it represents the modern image of Dubai.

Sentence has redundant and broken phrasing 'represents the image of and the modern image of'. Remove repetition and the stray 'and'. Suggestion: 'represents the modern image of Dubai.'

× To be honest and no because I think living in towers and high rise building needs and needs a develop developed culture and people in my country always has lived in ancient houses or a mansion and I prefer to live in a mansion too.

✓ To be honest, no. I don't want to because living in towers and high-rise buildings requires a developed culture, and people in my country have traditionally lived in old houses or mansions. I prefer to live in a mansion too.

Many issues: add punctuation to separate clauses. Use 'I don't want to' for clarity. 'High rise building' should be plural 'high-rise buildings'. 'Needs' should be 'requires'; 'a developed culture' is correct. Subject-verb agreement: 'people ... have traditionally lived' not 'has lived'. 'Ancient houses or a mansion' is inconsistent—use 'old houses or mansions' or 'mansions'. Suggestion: split into sentences, fix verb forms, and correct agreement and word choice.