建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve accuracy, fluency and coherence: correct pronunciation and word choice (tall, town, laws/rows?), remove fillers (umm), and organize into a clear topic sentence plus one or two specific details. Use linking words to connect ideas (however, because, for example). Keep to 2–3 concise sentences.

範例: There aren’t many tall buildings near my home because the neighborhood mainly consists of low-rise houses. However, there are a few skyscrapers near the train station, where more people live and commercial development has grown.

建議: Make the answer more natural and concise: state your main point, then give specific contrasting examples with smooth linking (but, however, because). Avoid repeating words and fillers. Use precise vocabulary (architecture, construction, subjects).

範例: Not really. I’m not very interested in architecture or construction, so I rarely photograph buildings. Instead, I prefer taking photos of flowers, food and animals because those subjects are more colorful and personal.

建議: Clarify details and correct names: give a clear topic sentence naming the building, correct factual errors (Sagrada Família is in Spain), explain reasons briefly with linking words. Reduce hesitation and avoid repeating pronouns incorrectly.

範例: Yes. I would like to visit the Sagrada Família in Spain because it is a famous and unique basilica. Also, I have close friends who live in Spain, so I hope to see it with them someday.

建議: Express opinion clearly and calmly: state your view, give specific reason and a brief result. Avoid excessive hedging and dramatic phrasing. Use linking words (because, for example, therefore) and precise vocabulary (earthquakes, safety risks).

範例: I wouldn’t want to live in a tall building because Japan experiences frequent earthquakes, which makes me worried about safety. For example, I prefer low-rise houses because they feel safer and easier to evacuate in an emergency.

× There are not many toll buildings near my home.

✓ There are not many tall buildings near my home.

The word 'toll' is a misspelling; the correct adjective is 'tall' to describe high buildings. Replace the incorrect word with the correct adjective.

× This is because of the rows and lows of the, umm, community that I'm living currently.

✓ This is because of the rules and laws of the community that I am currently living in.

The speaker used 'rows and lows' which are incorrect words; the intended nouns are 'rules and laws'. Also 'living currently' is awkward; 'currently living in' is the correct word order and preposition is needed ('in' the community).

× But there are some skyscrapers in tow buildings.

✓ But there are some skyscrapers in two buildings.

The word 'tow' is a misspelling of 'two'. Use the correct numeral word 'two' to indicate quantity. If 'two buildings' is not intended, consider 'in town' or 'in downtown' depending on meaning.

× Let it be far from my home, especially around the station that I was using, 'cause they're more and more people living there.

✓ They are far from my home, especially around the station that I use, because more and more people live there.

'Let it be' is unnatural; use 'They are' to refer to skyscrapers. 'That I was using' should be present 'that I use' if referring to habitual action. 'They're more and more people living there' is ungrammatical; correct structure is 'more and more people live there'. Also avoid contractions in formal responses and use 'because' instead of ' 'cause'.

× A lot of population, yeah.

✓ There is a large population there.

'A lot of population' is ungrammatical; use 'a large population' or 'a lot of people'. Also include a verb to form a complete sentence.

× I actually don't really take photos of buildings.

✓ I don't usually take photos of buildings.

Use 'don't usually take' to express habitual action; 'don't really take' is acceptable colloquially but 'usually' is clearer. Ensure present simple for habits.

× This is because I'm not really interested in umm contract or construction or building and that kind of stuff.

✓ This is because I'm not really interested in contracts, construction, or buildings and that kind of stuff.

Use plural 'contracts' and 'buildings' and list items with commas. 'Contract' singular is odd in this context.

× However, I like to take picture of like flowers, food, animals or like cuter stuff.

✓ However, I like to take pictures of flowers, food, animals, or cute things.

Use plural 'pictures' and 'cute things' instead of 'cuter stuff'. Avoid filler 'like' and use parallel nouns in the list.

× I'd like to visit Sakura de Familia, which is really famous building umm that was built in Spain.

✓ I'd like to visit Sagrada Familia, which is a really famous building that was built in Spain.

The landmark name appears incorrect; likely 'Sagrada Familia'. Insert the article 'a' before 'really famous building'. Ensure the correct proper name.

× I have umm really close friends in Spain and I always umm thinking, I'm always thinking that I wanna visit her.

✓ I have really close friends in Spain and I am always thinking that I want to visit them.

Use present continuous 'am always thinking' or simple present 'always think' for habitual thought. 'Wanna' should be 'want to' and 'her' is incorrect pronoun for 'friends' (plural); use 'them'.

× So hopefully I can visit Sakura family with her someday in my life.

✓ So hopefully I can visit Sagrada Familia with my friend someday.

Use the correct place name and 'with my friend' rather than 'with her' for clarity. 'Someday in my life' is wordy; 'someday' suffices.

× I personally don't really wanna live in the tall building.

✓ I personally don't really want to live in a tall building.

Use the indefinite article 'a' for a non-specific tall building. Replace colloquial 'wanna' with 'want to'.

× This is because umm, for example, especially in Japan, there are a lot of earthquakes, umm, that are happening recently.

✓ This is because, for example, especially in Japan, there have been a lot of earthquakes recently.

Use present perfect 'have been happening' or 'have been' for events that occurred in a recent period. 'Are happening recently' mixes present continuous with 'recently' and is incorrect.

× And I'm really afraid of living a tall building during that kind of period because it could cause like a big accident and I could be dying.

✓ And I'm really afraid of living in a tall building during such times because an accident could happen and I could die.

Use 'living in a tall building' with preposition 'in' and 'such times' instead of 'that kind of period'. 'Could be dying' is awkward; use 'could die' or 'I could be killed'. Avoid filler 'like a'.