建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce hesitations and be more concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (uh, um) and unclear phrases like “so those 3.”

範例: Yes. There are several tall buildings near my home because I live on the western side of the city, which is known for its royal heritage. For example, you can see old palaces and forts that were built many years ago, and some of these structures now stand quite tall.

建議: Organize the reply with a clear topic sentence and two concise reasons linked with connectors. Improve tense consistency and finish the sentence. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., preserve memories, instill).

範例: Yes, I often photograph buildings to preserve memories of their historic architecture. In addition, I do it to instill an appreciation of history in my children, so they can learn about our cultural heritage.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence, correct grammar and reduce repetition. Use linking words to explain reasons and add a brief plan or timeframe to sound more specific.

範例: Yes, I would love to visit the Taj Mahal, which is one of the wonders of the world and located in my city. However, I haven’t had the time since I started my medical career; nevertheless, I plan to visit next year when I take a short break.

建議: State your preference clearly, then give two concise, well-linked reasons. Avoid redundant phrasing (don't repeat 'really') and improve word choice (e.g., single-storey, small household).

範例: No, I prefer living in a single-storey house because it is easier to maintain and clean. Also, as we are a small, nuclear family, a smaller home suits our needs and keeps household chores manageable.

× There are several tall buildings in my, uh, city, uh, especially near to my home.

✓ There are several tall buildings in my city, especially near my home.

Incorrect preposition 'near to' and unnecessary comma. Use 'near' without 'to' when indicating proximity. Remove filler pauses and extra comma for clarity.

× Also because I'm living on western side of city, which is really famous for royal heritage as, uh, this was uh, the city where, uh, palaces, forts, uh, were built, uh, many years ago.

✓ Also, I live on the western side of the city, which is really famous for its royal heritage, because palaces and forts were built there many years ago.

Incorrect pronoun and article usage: 'I'm living on western side of city' should be 'I live on the western side of the city'. Use 'its' to show possession for 'royal heritage'. 'As, this was the city where' is awkward; use 'because' and simplify. Remove filler words and reorder for clarity.

× Uh, so those 3.

✓ So, there are three main buildings I can think of.

Fragment 'so those 3' lacks clear subject and verb. Expand to a complete sentence matching context and use words instead of numeral in speech style.

× Without a doubt, I take photographs just because I really want to create a memory whenever I saw those particular buildings which were constructed many years ago and reflect a deep history.

✓ Without a doubt, I take photographs because I really want to create memories whenever I see those particular buildings that were constructed many years ago and reflect a deep history.

Tense inconsistency: 'whenever I saw' should be present 'whenever I see' to match 'I take photographs'. Also plural 'memories' fits better. Use 'that' or 'which' appropriately and keep past tense for 'were constructed'.

× Moreover, I really want to appreciate my kids to develop a connection with history, so I always try to.

✓ Moreover, I really want my kids to develop a connection with history, so I always try to do that.

Incorrect use of 'appreciate my kids to develop' — 'want my kids to develop' is correct. Sentence ended abruptly; add 'do that' to complete the idea.

× I really want to visit Taj Mahal which is one of the wonder over the world and it is in my own city but I couldn't visit there just because of lack of time.

✓ I really want to visit the Taj Mahal, which is one of the wonders of the world and is in my city, but I couldn't visit it because of a lack of time.

Articles and noun forms: 'the Taj Mahal' needs definite article, 'one of the wonders of the world' plural 'wonders' and preposition 'of'. Use 'visit it' not 'visit there'. Include 'a' before 'lack of time'.

× Since I joined this medical profession, I hardly got any time to visit to these kind of places but I will definitely go there.

✓ Since I joined this medical profession, I have hardly had any time to visit these kinds of places, but I will definitely go.

Tense and verb choice: 'Since I joined' requires present perfect 'have had' to show ongoing situation. Remove extra 'to' after 'visit' and use plural 'kinds' with 'these'. Change 'got' to 'had'.

× Not really, I really want to live in a peaceful building, and it should not be more than one story, because it is very difficult to clean and moreover, I am having a nuclear family and we cannot live in big space just because household chores automatically increased by living in the tall building.

✓ Not really. I want to live in a peaceful building, and it should not be more than one storey, because it is very difficult to clean. Also, I have a nuclear family and we cannot live in a large space, as household chores automatically increase when living in a tall building.

Word choice and quantifiers: use 'storey' (or 'story'), 'large space' rather than 'big space'. 'I am having a nuclear family' is incorrect; use 'I have a nuclear family'. Verb agreement: 'chores automatically increased' should be 'chores increase' for general truth. Split into clearer sentences.