建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy, and use linking words for clarity. Also correct errors (e.g., 'that much tall buildings' -> 'many tall buildings' and 'near in our house' -> 'near our house'). Keep answers to max 3–4 short sentences.

範例: No, there aren’t many tall buildings near my home because I live in a rural area. I prefer it that way since I can enjoy the green fields and trees. As a result, the view feels peaceful and spacious.

建議: Begin with a direct statement, then give one specific supporting detail and a brief reason. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' and correct small phrasing issues (e.g., 'friends or family' not 'families').

範例: Yes, I sometimes take photos of buildings when I travel. For example, I photographed a modern museum last month because I liked its unusual façade, and I posted the pictures on social media to share with friends.

建議: Use correct grammar and formal vocabulary: avoid contractions like 'wanna' and incorrect words like 'instruct' and 'lightning' (use 'constructed' and 'lighting'). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., 'because' and 'for example').

範例: I would like to visit the Empire State Building in New York City because I admire its construction and historical importance. For example, I am interested in its Art Deco design and the lighting displays that highlight the building at night.

建議: Give a clear main idea first, then support with concise reasons and avoid repetition. Fix awkward phrasing ('as a permanent resident I prefer to have it in a rural area' -> 'permanently, I prefer living in the countryside') and remove vague sentence endings ('It makes me realize').

範例: I might live in a tall building temporarily as a holiday home, but permanently I prefer the countryside. I like rural areas because of the open landscape, fresh air, and nearby nature, which help me relax.

× Since we live in a rural area, we don't have that much tall buildings near in our house, but I prefer it that way so that I can enjoy the scenery, the green grass and trees around me.

✓ Since we live in a rural area, we don't have many tall buildings near our house, but I prefer it that way so I can enjoy the scenery, the green grass, and the trees around me.

Plural and determiners: 'that much' is used with uncountable nouns; use 'many' for countable plural 'buildings'. 'Near in our house' is incorrect preposition use; use 'near our house'. Remove unnecessary 'so that' repetition to sound natural. Add commas for list clarity.

× Sometimes when I go to different cities, I admire the structure of the buildings that I'm not familiar with and I usually post it on my social media accounts so that I can share it with my friends or families.

✓ Sometimes when I go to different cities, I admire the structure of buildings that I'm not familiar with and I usually post them on my social media accounts so I can share them with my friends or family.

Pronoun and number agreement and article use: 'the buildings that I'm not familiar with' is okay, but the demonstrative pronoun must agree in number: 'post it' should be 'post them'. 'Friends or families' is unnatural; use 'friends or family'. Also 'so that' can be shortened to 'so' for natural speech.

× If I had the chance, I would like to visit the Empire State Building in Manhattan, NY City because I admire how the building was instruct.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to visit the Empire State Building in Manhattan, New York City because I admire how the building was constructed.

Word form: 'instruct' is incorrect; the correct past participle is 'constructed' when describing how a building was built. Also 'NY City' is informal; use 'New York City'.

× I wanna see the lightning, the different designs to put up that building and the history behind it.

✓ I want to see the lighting, the different designs used to construct that building, and the history behind it.

Colloquial contraction and word choice: 'wanna' should be 'want to' in formal speech. 'Lightning' (weather) is wrong for building illumination; use 'lighting'. 'The different designs to put up that building' is ungrammatical; use 'designs used to construct that building' or 'construction designs'. Ensure parallel structure in list.

× I think I can live in a tall building for as long as it will stay as a vacation home, but as a permanent resident I prefer to have it in a rural area because I prefer a landscape scenery where I can see trees, grasses and animals.

✓ I think I could live in a tall building as long as it were a vacation home, but as a permanent resident I prefer to live in a rural area because I prefer a landscape where I can see trees, grass, and animals.

Tense and modal use: Use conditional 'could' and subjunctive 'were' for hypothetical situation. 'Stay as a vacation home' is awkward; use 'be a vacation home'. 'Prefer to have it in a rural area' is unclear—use 'prefer to live in a rural area'. 'Grasses' is usually 'grass' as an uncountable noun. 'Landscape scenery' is redundant; 'landscape' suffices.

× It makes me realize.

✓ It makes me appreciate the surroundings.

Fragment and clarity: 'It makes me realize' is a sentence fragment lacking an object and sounds incomplete. Provide a clear object or rephrase to express the intended meaning, e.g. 'It makes me appreciate the surroundings' or 'It makes me realize how peaceful it is'.