建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장이 문법적으로 정확하지 않고 반복과 불필요한 말(예: "my my", "especially uh")이 많습니다. 주제문으로 직접 답한 뒤 구체적인 이유나 예시를 하나 또는 두 개의 구체적 세부사항으로 덧붙이세요. 연결어(for example, because)를 사용해 논리를 분명히 하고, 문장 수는 3문장 이내로 유지하세요. 예: 도시에 새로 건설된 고층 건물들이 많고, 몇몇은 관광 명소로 사용된다는 점을 명확히 하세요.

範例: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home because the city has been redeveloped recently. For example, several modern skyscrapers serve as offices and tourist attractions. They give the area a very contemporary feel.

建議: 의도를 명확히 표현하되 문법 오류를 고치세요(예: 'I haven't' 대신 'No, I don't' 또는 'No, I don't usually'). 관련 세부사항을 하나만 추가하고 이유를 연결어로 설명하세요. 구체적인 상황(가족과 여행에서만 찍는다 등)을 예로 들면 더 자연스럽습니다.

範例: No, I don't usually take photos of buildings because I'm not very interested in photography. I only take pictures occasionally to record family trips or special occasions. For instance, I take photos when we travel to remember those moments.

建議: 대답은 좋지만 문법과 어휘(예: 'top viewer' → 'viewpoint' 또는 'observation deck')를 정확하게 고치고 문장을 완성하세요. 이유를 구체적으로 하나 추가하고 연결어(so, because, for example)를 사용해 보세요. 문장 수는 2~3문장으로 유지하세요.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the local tower in Seoul because it is one of the tallest buildings in my country. It has many facilities and an observation deck with a beautiful view of the city, and my friends highly recommended it.

建議: 의도를 분명히 표현하세요. 현재 답변은 의미 전달이 불분명하고 문법 오류가 심합니다. 간단한 주제문으로 시작해 구체적 이유(예: 불편함, 엘리베이터 대기, 안전 우려)를 1~2개 제시하고 연결어를 사용하세요. 불필요한 반복을 피하고 문장 수는 2~3문장으로 유지하세요.

範例: No, I wouldn't want to live in a tall building because I dislike waiting for elevators and I prefer quick access to the street. For example, I find stairs or a low-rise apartment much more convenient for daily routines.

× Yes, my my city have a lots of water building because my city develops all recently, so we have a lots of tour buildings.

✓ Yes, my city has a lot of waterfront buildings because my city has developed a lot recently, so we have many tourist buildings.

Plural and singular forms are incorrect and word choices are awkward. 'my city have' should be 'my city has' (singular subject requires singular verb). 'a lots of' is incorrect; use 'a lot of' or 'many'. 'water building' should be 'waterfront building' or 'buildings by the water'. 'develops all recently' is unnatural; use 'has developed a lot recently'. Suggestion: match singular/plural and use correct quantifiers and idiomatic phrases.

× It is very modern and umm, especially uh, especially.

✓ It is very modern, especially the new areas.

The sentence is incomplete and repetitive. Use a complete clause after 'especially' to specify what is especially modern. Keep present tense 'is' for description. Suggestion: provide the specific element being emphasized.

× No I haven't because I don't like taking photos.

✓ No, I haven't because I don't like taking photos.

Punctuation and contraction usage: add comma after 'No' for spoken pause. 'haven't' may be acceptable but more natural: 'No, I don't' or 'No, I haven't taken many photos'. Suggestion: choose consistent tense and clarify what 'haven't' refers to.

× Usually I take photos photo for my review and my family.

✓ Usually I take photos for reviews and to share with my family.

Redundant word 'photos photo' and awkward phrasing 'for my review and my family'. Rephrase to 'for reviews' and 'to share with my family'. Suggestion: remove redundancy and use parallel structure.

× I remember my family memories.

✓ I want to remember family memories.

Awkward collocation 'remember my family memories'. If intention is to preserve memories, say 'I want to remember family memories' or 'I want to keep memories of my family'. Suggestion: use verbs like 'keep' or 'preserve' with 'memories'.

× Yes I have. I want to visit a local tower in Seoul.

✓ Yes, I have. I want to visit a local tower in Seoul.

Add comma after 'Yes' for clarity. No major grammatical number issue aside from punctuation. Suggestion: keep punctuation consistent.

× It is the highest building in my country and there are lots of facilities and there's top viewer is very beautiful.

✓ It is the tallest building in my country, and there are lots of facilities; the observation deck at the top is very beautiful.

Use 'the tallest' rather than 'the highest building' for natural phrasing. 'top viewer' is incorrect; correct term is 'observation deck' or 'viewpoint'. Also fix sentence fragments and article usage. Suggestion: use correct nouns and articles and connect clauses properly.

× My friends recommended me so I.

✓ My friends recommended it to me, so I would like to visit.

Pronoun usage and sentence fragment: 'recommended me' should be 'recommended it to me' or 'recommended that I visit'. Also complete the sentence after 'so I'. Suggestion: include the object and finish the clause.

× No, I don't. I prepare all over the league because I want to convenience place lower within don't wait or elevator and I.

✓ No, I don't. I prefer living on a lower floor because I want convenience and not to wait for an elevator.

Awkward modal/verb forms 'I prepare' and 'want to convenience place lower' are incorrect. Use 'prefer' for preference and 'living on a lower floor' to indicate location. 'don't wait or elevator' should be 'not to wait for an elevator'. Suggestion: use correct verbs for preferences and natural phrases.

× I had I keep all my time so I prepare or work with elevator.

✓ I am busy all the time, so I prefer not to rely on elevators.

This sentence is fragmented and contains tense/confusing phrases like 'I had I keep all my time' and 'prepare or work with elevator'. Clarify meaning: if speaker is busy, say 'I am busy all the time' and state consequence 'so I prefer not to rely on elevators'. Suggestion: simplify and use clear cause-effect structure.