建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng hơn, tránh tiếng ì (umm) và lỗi ngữ pháp nhỏ. Nên mở đầu trực tiếp, dùng 2–3 câu tối đa: một câu chủ đề trả lời trực tiếp, một câu chi tiết nêu lý do hoặc ví dụ cụ thể. Tránh từ không đúng như “during” và sắp xếp lại từ để câu mạch lạc.

範例: Yes. I live in a large metropolis, so there are many tall buildings near my home. I live in a high‑rise apartment, so I can easily see several skyscrapers from my window every morning.

建議: Câu trả lời chứa nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp, từ vựng không chính xác và lặp từ, cùng với tiếng ngập ngừng. Nên nói ngắn gọn, dùng cấu trúc đơn giản rõ ràng: trả lời trực tiếp, nêu lý do và ví dụ cụ thể (tên địa danh, chi tiết kiến trúc). Tránh lặp từ và tiếng ngập ngừng.

範例: Yes, photography is one of my hobbies, so I often take pictures of interesting buildings. For example, I like photographing Landmark 24 because its curved façade and ornate details make striking photos.

建議: Ý tưởng hợp lý nhưng cần chỉnh ngôn ngữ tự nhiên hơn và sửa lỗi nhỏ. Tránh tiếng ngập ngừng, dùng liên từ phù hợp để nối các ý. Nên nêu tên cụ thể nếu biết, hoặc mô tả rõ hơn cái mình muốn trải nghiệm (ví dụ: observation deck view).

範例: Definitely. I would like to visit the famous skyscraper in China because it is known for its height and panoramic views. It also houses shops, restaurants and an observation deck, so I could enjoy the view and explore the building.

建議: Câu trả lời có ý rõ ràng nhưng cần loại bỏ lỗi lặp từ và từ không chính xác (ví dụ “PR pan panoramic”). Dùng 2–3 câu, mỗi câu có liên từ hợp lý, kèm chi tiết cụ thể về lợi ích khi sống ở tầng cao. Giữ phát âm và ngữ pháp chính xác.

範例: Yes, I would. Living on a high floor often means fresher air and more natural light, so the apartment feels more spacious. In addition, I could enjoy a panoramic view of the city from my windows.

× Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home because I live in a metropolis. Umm, I actually live in a high rise apartment during and so it could be easy for me to see several skyscrapers from my window.

✓ Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home because I live in a metropolis. I actually live in a high-rise apartment, so it is easy for me to see several skyscrapers from my window.

The original contains tense and word-choice issues: 'during' is incorrect and unnecessary, 'high rise' should be hyphenated as 'high-rise' when used as an adjective, and 'could be easy' is incorrect for a general present fact — use 'is easy'. Suggestion: remove 'during', hyphenate compound adjective, and use simple present for general truths.

× All yours photographing in my is my hobby, so it so I often take pictures of I attractive buildings.

✓ Photography is my hobby, so I often take pictures of attractive buildings.

The sentence is ungrammatical: words are misordered and incorrect pronouns used ('All yours photographing in my', 'I attractive'). Use the noun 'photography' to express the hobby and a clear clause 'I often take pictures of attractive buildings'. Suggestion: simplify sentence structure and use correct noun forms and word order.

× For example, I like to capture the architecture details of landmark landmark 24 in my city because it has a unique, uh, unique, uh, structure and I also wanna.

✓ For example, I like to capture the architectural details of Landmark 24 in my city because it has a unique structure, and I also want to visit it.

Use 'architectural' (adjective) before 'details' instead of 'architecture details'. Proper nouns like 'Landmark 24' should be capitalized. Repetition 'unique, uh, unique, uh' is filler; remove it. 'wanna' is informal; use 'want to' and complete the sentence with the object 'visit it'. Suggestion: use correct adjective forms, capitalize names, avoid fillers, and complete the verb phrase.

× Definitely, I would like to visit the skyscraper in China. It is very famous for its height and many people in my country often talk about it. Umm. In addition, there are several entertainment venues inside, such as shops, restaurants and observation desks, which is why really want to go there.

✓ Definitely, I would like to visit the skyscraper in China. It is very famous for its height, and many people in my country often talk about it. In addition, there are several entertainment venues inside, such as shops, restaurants, and observation decks, which is why I really want to go there.

'Umm' is filler and can be removed. 'Observation desks' should be 'observation decks'. The clause 'which is why really want to go there' is missing the subject 'I'. Suggestion: remove fillers, correct noun choice, and include the subject in clauses.

× Oh yes, I would like to live in a tall building because being on a high floor would give me fresher air and make the the apartment feel more spacious. Moreover, I could enjoy PR pan panoramic view of the city and see the sky more clearly.

✓ Oh yes, I would like to live in a tall building because being on a high floor would give me fresher air and make the apartment feel more spacious. Moreover, I could enjoy a panoramic view of the city and see the sky more clearly.

There is a duplicated 'the the'. 'PR pan panoramic' contains extra garbled words; use 'a panoramic view'. These are word-choice and redundancy errors. Suggestion: remove duplicate words, delete garbled text, and use the correct article 'a' before 'panoramic view'.