走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Correct grammar and pronoun usage, and avoid typos. Start with a concise topic sentence, then add one or two brief supporting reasons using linking words. Reduce redundancy (e.g., "I haven't had many opportunities" and "staying at home all day" overlap).

範例: Not really. I haven't been walking much recently because I've been staying at home for work, and the weather has been extremely hot. For these reasons, I prefer indoor exercise or short walks in the cooler evening.

建議: Fix basic grammar errors and choose the correct verbs/pronouns. Begin with a clear topic sentence (e.g., "No, I didn't go out often"). Provide two specific reasons with linking words and concise phrasing. Avoid unrelated or incorrect words ("wash" → "go out"; "were" → "was").

範例: No, I didn't go out for walks very often when I was a child because I was busy with school and after-school classes. Also, my parents were worried about safety since our neighborhood could be dangerous, so they discouraged me from going out alone.

建議: Be more natural and concise: start directly with the reason. Use varied vocabulary and a linking phrase for the second point if you add one. Replace vague phrases like "positive hormones" with clearer terms (e.g., "mood" or "well-being").

範例: People like walking in parks because green spaces help reduce stress and improve mood. In addition, parks offer fresh air and pleasant scenery, which makes walking more relaxing and enjoyable.

建議: Good response with a clear topic and a relevant example. Tighten the answer by combining sentences and adding a brief reason why riverside walks appeal to you (e.g., scenery, fresh air). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: I would walk along a river because the views and fresh air make it relaxing. For example, the Han River in Seoul has long riverside parks where people relax and do recreational activities, which makes it an ideal place for a long walk.

建議: Use correct tense and concise structure: start with a clear topic sentence about the most recent walk. Mention one or two specific details and use linking words to connect ideas. Avoid unnecessary logistics (drive time) unless it adds value.

範例: Recently I went walking with my sister in the park near our house. The park offers group aerobics classes and running paths, so we usually do a short jog and then join the exercise session.

× Moreover, Thi weather is extremely hot, which is not suitable for walking.

✓ Moreover, the weather is extremely hot, which is not suitable for walking.

The sentence uses 'Thi' which is a typographical error and 'the weather' requires the definite article 'the'. Replace 'Thi' with 'the'. Ensure correct spelling and article use: 'the weather'. (Grammar Problem Type ID: 13)

× No, I didn't often wash when I were a child because I was busy with my schoolwork and after school classes.

✓ No, I didn't often go for walks when I was a child because I was busy with my schoolwork and after-school classes.

Two errors: 'wash' is the wrong verb — context requires 'go for walks' or 'walk'. Also 'were' is incorrect for singular subject 'I' in past tense; use 'was'. Correct verb choice and correct past tense form: 'I was'. (Grammar Problem Type ID: 5)

× Moreover, my parents were very concerned about my safety as it was dangerous around neighborhoods.

✓ Moreover, my parents were very concerned about my safety because it was dangerous in the neighborhood.

Use 'because' to show cause rather than 'as' which can be ambiguous. Use 'in the neighborhood' rather than 'around neighborhoods' for natural preposition and singular/definite reference. Also 'neighborhood' is more natural singular here. (Grammar Problem Type ID: 11)

× There are various reasons for this question.

✓ There are various reasons for this.

'For this question' is unnecessary and awkward. The intended meaning is 'for this' (i.e., for why people like to walk in parks). Simplify the phrase to avoid redundancy and improve clarity. (Grammar Problem Type ID: 26)

× Firstly, I think people want to relieve stress and unwind as parks provide green spaces which can help boost their positive hormones.

✓ Firstly, I think people want to relieve stress and unwind because parks provide green spaces that can help boost their positive feelings.

'As' can be used but 'because' is clearer for cause. 'Positive hormones' is unnatural; use 'positive feelings' or 'well-being'. Also use 'that' instead of 'which' for restrictive clause here. Make vocabulary more natural. (Grammar Problem Type ID: 13)

× I would take a long walk along rivers.

✓ I would take a long walk along a river.

The context asks for a specific place; 'a long walk along rivers' is plural and odd. Use singular 'a river' to match 'a long walk' or specify 'rivers' with plural quantifier. Ensure number agreement. (Grammar Problem Type ID: 1)

× For example in Seoul there is a long river that runs through the city called the Han River.

✓ For example, in Seoul there is a long river that runs through the city called the Han River.

Missing comma after introductory phrase 'For example'. Comma improves readability. The rest is fine. (Grammar Problem Type ID: 22)

× I have been walking with my sister at the park near my house.

✓ I have been walking with my sister in the park near my house.

Use 'in the park' rather than 'at the park' when describing being inside the park area. 'At' can be used for locations but 'in' is more natural here. (Grammar Problem Type ID: 11)

× It usually takes a ten minute drive from my home to this park and there are various activities to do there, such as aerobics and running.

✓ It usually takes a ten-minute drive from my home to this park, and there are various activities to do there, such as aerobics and running.

Use a hyphen in the compound adjective 'ten-minute'. Also add a comma before 'and' to separate clauses. The rest is acceptable. (Grammar Problem Type ID: 14)}]} PMID: None