走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid repetition and informal filler like "and stuff." Use linking words (e.g., "because", "so").

範例: Yes, I walk a lot. I try to reach 10,000 steps daily because it helps my fitness, and my phone also reminds me when I have about 5,000 steps left.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and soften extreme statements; provide a concise reason and, if appropriate, a related detail. Avoid hesitation sounds and double negatives. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

範例: No, I didn't walk outside much as a child because I was quite shy and nervous about social interactions. As a result, I preferred staying at home and playing indoors.

建議: Organize the answer: start with a topic sentence, then give two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., "too much, very too much") and informal contractions like "'cause."

範例: People enjoy walking in parks because they find it relaxing and surrounded by greenery. Also, parks offer chances to meet others and often have outdoor exercise equipment, so you can both relax and work out.

建議: Good clear answer and reason. Make language more natural and concise; avoid exaggerated phrases like "make you numb." Use linking words and a brief extra detail or personal reason.

範例: I'd like to walk along the seafront because the sound of the waves is very calming. I also enjoy walking on the sand and occasionally dipping my feet in the water.

建議: Start with a direct answer, avoid fillers like "honestly" and "umm." Give a concise reason and one specific detail about alternatives. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "because", "so").

範例: I haven't been on a walk recently because I usually travel by public transport or drive. Instead of walking, I prefer exercising at an indoor gym or doing aerial yoga.

× Yes, I prefer to walk a lot because I want to complete 10,000 steps a day.

✓ Yes, I prefer walking a lot because I want to complete 10,000 steps a day.

Use of 'prefer to walk' is acceptable but in context 'prefer walking' is more natural when discussing habitual activities. Change improves verb form consistency and fluency.

× That's my goal and even that's my phone's goal.

✓ That's my goal and it's even my phone's goal.

Repetition of 'that's' makes sentence choppy. Use 'it's' to refer back smoothly and maintain pronoun reference to the previously mentioned goal.

× Also it always reminds me nearly 5000 steps are remaining and stuff.

✓ Also it always reminds me that nearly 5,000 steps remain.

The clause requires 'that' to introduce reported content; 'are remaining' is awkward — use simple present 'remain' for states. Write numbers as '5,000' for clarity and remove filler 'and stuff'.

× I never went outside to have a walk as a child because I'm too scared to face outside world and I'm very much terrified uh to for social interactions and all so I never considered it even.

✓ I never went outside for walks as a child because I was too scared to face the outside world and I was very afraid of social interactions, so I never considered it.

Childhood events need past tense ('was' not 'am'). 'To have a walk' is unnatural; use 'for walks'. 'Outside world' needs 'the'. Remove filler 'uh' and 'to for' is incorrect. 'Very much terrified' is awkward; use 'very afraid'. Simplify ending for clarity.

× Walking in park is more relaxing 'cause you walk in between nature and there are so many trees where too much, very too much greenery and also you can meet new people and additionally you have outdoor gyms there.

✓ Walking in a park is more relaxing because you are surrounded by nature; there are so many trees and a lot of greenery, and you can meet new people. Additionally, there are outdoor gyms.

Use article 'a' before 'park'. 'Walk in between nature' is unidiomatic; use 'surrounded by nature'. 'Where too much, very too much greenery' is ungrammatical — use 'a lot of greenery'. Split long run-on sentence into clearer clauses and change 'you have outdoor gyms there' to 'there are outdoor gyms' for natural word order.

× So if you want to just workout, you can just workout there.

✓ So if you just want to work out, you can do your workout there.

Use phrasal verb 'work out' (two words) and prefer 'do your workout' or 'work out' appropriately. Avoid repeating 'just' and 'workout' as a noun/verb confusion.

× I'd like to take a walk along the ocean bank because it feels so relaxing and the sound of the waves make you numb to all other surroundings sounds and also you can just play with the water which I like.

✓ I'd like to take a walk along the oceanbank because it feels so relaxing, and the sound of the waves makes you numb to other surrounding sounds. You can also play in the water, which I like.

Subject-verb agreement: 'sound' (singular) with 'makes' (not 'make'). 'Surroundings sounds' is incorrect; use 'surrounding sounds'. 'Play with the water' is acceptable but 'play in the water' is more natural. Split into two sentences for clarity.

× Honestly umm I did not go out for any walk lately because I always use pub public transport or my own transport.

✓ Honestly, I haven't gone out for a walk lately because I always use public transport or my own vehicle.

Use present perfect 'haven't gone' with 'lately'. Remove filler 'umm'. 'Did not go out lately' is less appropriate. 'Pub public transport' is redundant/typo; use 'public transport' and 'own transport' -> 'own vehicle' or 'my own car'.

× I never got a chance to go out and I like indoor gyms so I always prefer to go to indoor gyms or to aerial yoga.

✓ I haven't had a chance to go out, and I like indoor gyms, so I usually prefer going to indoor gyms or doing aerial yoga.

Use present perfect 'haven't had' to describe recent experience. 'I like indoor gyms so I always prefer to go to indoor gyms' is repetitive; simplify. Use gerunds 'going' and 'doing' for activities. 'Prefer to go to aerial yoga' is incorrect; prefer 'doing aerial yoga'.