走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and concise: state whether you walk a lot, give a brief reason, and avoid hesitations and repetitions. Use correct verbs (e.g., 'walk' not 'work') and appropriate grammar (singular/plural, articles). Keep it under 3–4 sentences.

範例: Not really. I don't walk much because I usually commute by car to school and spend a lot of time sitting during the journey. Occasionally I walk short distances near my home, but I rarely go for long walks.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence about past habit using correct tense (e.g., 'I used to'). Provide one specific supporting detail and avoid contradictory statements. Use linking words like 'however' to contrast ideas and correct verb forms.

範例: Yes, I used to go outside a lot as a child to explore my neighborhood. However, on many outings I would sit on the back of my parents' motorbike, so most trips were short rides rather than long walks.

建議: Give a clear reason then support it with a specific effect. Use linking words such as 'because' and 'also'. Avoid filler words and correct article use and nouns (e.g., 'trees', 'atmosphere'). Keep sentences concise and grammatically correct.

範例: People like walking in parks because of the peaceful atmosphere and fresh air. Also, being surrounded by trees and greenery can reduce stress and make them feel more relaxed.

建議: Answer directly with a location and give a clear reason. Use correct verbs (e.g., 'walk' not 'work') and fewer hesitations. Add one specific detail about what you would enjoy there.

範例: I would like to take a long walk in a national park with dense forests. I think the quiet trails and fresh air would be a great escape from work, and I could enjoy birdwatching and peaceful scenery.

建議: Be clear about the recent time and location: state when you went and where. Use correct expressions (e.g., 'recently' or 'last week') and simple past tense. Provide one specific purpose for the visit and avoid irrelevant repetition.

範例: Recently I went for a short walk inside a supermarket with my mother and brother. We were returning clothes that didn't fit and buying some food, so I walked around the aisles with them.

× You know, I, I am not that kind of sporty people and you know, uh, I spend much of my time to, uh, sitting on the, the car riding at our city, uh, especially commuting from my home to school. So I, I don't work, I work a lot.

✓ You know, I am not that kind of sporty person, and I spend most of my time sitting in the car when riding around the city, especially commuting from my home to school. So I don't exercise much.

The original uses the plural noun 'people' incorrectly after 'that kind of' which requires a singular noun 'person' (Grammar problem type ID 12). Also 'spend much of my time to sitting' is incorrect; after 'spend time' use the -ing form 'sitting' (Grammar problem type ID 8). 'Sitting on the car' should be 'sitting in the car' (preposition error, ID 11). 'Riding at our city' is awkward; 'riding around the city' is correct (ID 11). The final clause 'I don't work, I work a lot' contradicts meaning and likely intended 'I don't exercise much' so corrected for clarity and tense consistency. Suggestion: use singular 'person', use 'spend time' + gerund, choose correct prepositions 'in' and 'around', and keep consistent verbs and meaning.

× Actually, when I was a child, I I love to go outside of my house to discover and explore new things. But especially most most of the time I sitting on the the back seat of the motorbike so I don't work.

✓ Actually, when I was a child, I loved to go outside my house to discover and explore new things. But most of the time I sat on the back seat of the motorbike, so I didn't exercise.

The sentence mixes past context 'when I was a child' with present tense 'I love' and present participle 'I sitting'. Use past tense 'loved' and past 'sat' to match the time frame (Grammar problem type ID 5). 'Outside of my house' can be simplified to 'outside my house' (preposition choice, ID 11). 'I don't work' likely intends 'I didn't exercise' given context; corrected for tense and meaning. Suggestion: maintain consistent past tense in narrative about childhood and use correct past forms and gerunds where needed.

× I think I think that most people would love to walk in the the parks because of the is atmosphere. People love like walking under a lot of green tree because is will provide a lot of oxygen that that things that might be able to feel better.

✓ I think that most people would love to walk in parks because of the atmosphere. People like walking under many green trees because they provide a lot of oxygen, which makes people feel better.

Repeated 'the the' is an error; 'walk in parks' is more natural than 'walk in the the parks' unless referring to specific parks (definite article error, ID 17/22). 'The is atmosphere' is ungrammatical and should be 'the atmosphere' or just 'atmosphere' (ID 17/22). 'Green tree' should be plural 'green trees' (singular/plural issue, ID 1). 'Is will provide' is incorrect auxiliary usage; use 'they provide' to match plural subject (subject-verb agreement and pronoun use, ID 27/12). 'That that things that might be able to feel better' is redundant and unclear; rephrased to 'which makes people feel better' for clarity (sentence structure error, ID 26). Suggestion: remove unnecessary articles, use correct plural forms, ensure subject and verb agree, and simplify clauses.

× Umm, I would like to work in a National Park, uh, like where, Which in has a lot of tree, you know, because, uh, the tree there will make people feel better after only working in the workplace.

✓ Umm, I would like to walk in a national park, one that has a lot of trees, because the trees there make people feel better after working all day.

The student used 'work in a National Park' but the question asked about taking a long walk; 'walk in a national park' matches meaning (verb choice and sentence structure, ID 26). 'Which in has a lot of tree' is ungrammatical; correct is 'one that has a lot of trees' (preposition and relative clause errors, ID 11/16). 'The tree there will make people feel better after only working in the workplace' is awkward; 'after working all day' is concise and natural (preposition and article issues, ID 11/22). Suggestion: use verbs that match the question, use proper relative clauses ('one that has'), pluralize 'trees', and use natural time expressions.

× In the last time working, I was in the supermarket, uh, the supermarket, like you're more. I go there with my, uh, my mom's and my brother to refund their clothes that not fit us, uh, and uh, buy some food.

✓ Recently, I went to the supermarket. I went there with my mom and my brother to return clothes that did not fit us and to buy some food.

'In the last time working' is incorrect; use 'recently' or 'last time' (tense/time expression error, ID 7/5). 'I was in the supermarket' is acceptable but better as 'I went to the supermarket' to match narrative past tense (past tense consistency, ID 5). 'Like you're more' is nonsensical and removed (sentence structure error, ID 26). 'I go there' should be past 'I went there' (past tense error, ID 5). 'My mom's' mistakenly uses possessive; use 'my mom' (pronoun/possessive error, ID 12/22). 'To refund their clothes that not fit us' should be 'to return clothes that did not fit us'—'refund' is wrong verb here and tense/agreement corrected (verb choice and tense, ID 4/5). Suggestion: use 'return' for giving back items, keep past tense consistent, avoid incorrect possessive forms, and use clear time expressions.