走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make the answer more grammatically correct, concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct tense and word order errors.

範例: Yes, I walk a lot these days as a way to relieve stress after work. Because our office is located inside a leafy subdivision, I enjoy walking among the trees, which helps me relax and stop thinking about work. As a result, it calms my mood and clears my mind.

建議: Use past tense consistently and give a clearer topic sentence. Provide one or two specific supporting details and link them logically. Avoid fragmented phrases and correct conditional errors.

範例: Not really. When I was a child I usually stayed at home or played with neighbors in our subdivision because I had no one to walk with. Only occasionally would I walk to the local store, so walking was not a regular activity for me.

建議: Start with a concise topic sentence and then provide specific reasons with linking words. Reduce repetition and use natural collocations (e.g., "relieve stress", "clear their minds").

範例: People often walk in parks because it helps clear their minds and relieve stress. For example, the fresh air and greenery make it easier to relax and feel connected to nature, which can improve mood and reduce anxiety.

建議: Give a clear, concise opening sentence, then add one or two vivid but relevant details. Avoid mixed metaphors and informal phrases like "ready to go on another battle." Use natural collocations and correct grammar.

範例: I would like to take a long walk along a beach because the sound of the waves and the sea breeze are very relaxing. The scenery would help me clear my mind and feel connected to nature, which would recharge me for future challenges.

建議: Use past or present perfect tense correctly and make the answer concise. Provide one or two specific details about the route or scenery and use natural vocabulary (e.g., "green scenery", "calm me").

範例: Lately I've been walking from our office to the terminal. Since our office is inside a leafy subdivision, the green scenery and trees help calm me and clear my mind during the short walk.

× Recently working as one of my stress reliever after work since our office is inside the subdivision so there's a lot of trees.

✓ Recently I have been walking as one of my stress relievers after work because our office is inside a subdivision so there are a lot of trees.

The original sentence misses a subject and auxiliary verb for the present continuous/perfect continuous idea and uses singular 'stress reliever' while generalizing (quantifier) needs plural 'relievers'. Use 'I have been walking' to show a recent habitual activity; 'because' is better than 'since' for reason; 'there are a lot of trees' fixes subject-verb agreement and article use.

× I am I feel like I am connected with nature and helps me relax and I don't think any thoughts or any work related thoughts and it regulates my emotions.

✓ I feel connected with nature and it helps me relax; I don't think about work-related thoughts and it regulates my emotions.

Remove duplicate 'I am'. Use 'it helps me' (agreement: subject 'it' with 'helps'). Use 'think about' for thoughts, hyphenate 'work-related'. Keep parallel structure and add punctuation to clarify clauses.

× When I was a child, I don't have someone to go with, so not really.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't have anyone to go with, so not really.

Talking about the past requires past tense: 'didn't have' instead of 'don't have'. Use 'anyone' instead of 'someone' in negative contexts for natural English.

× I just stay at home or play with my neighbors inside our subdivision.

✓ I just stayed at home or played with my neighbors inside our subdivision.

This sentence describes habitual past actions, so use past tense 'stayed' and 'played' to match 'When I was a child' context.

× But walking, not that really.

✓ But walking, not really.

This fragment is colloquial and lacks clarity. Keep as 'But walking, not really.' if maintaining informal style; however, in full form: 'But I didn't really walk.' That uses past tense and a full clause for clarity.

× Maybe where if I will go to the store, that's the only thing that I walk.

✓ Maybe if I went to the store, that was the only time I walked.

Mixed conditional and tense errors. For past habits, use 'if I went' and 'was the only time I walked.' Avoid 'will' in past context.

× I believe that people like to walk in parks because it helps them to clear their mind, regulate their emotions and feel connected with nature.

✓ I believe that people like to walk in parks because it helps them clear their minds, regulate their emotions, and feel connected with nature.

Use plural 'minds' to match 'people'. 'Helps them clear' is standard verb pattern without 'to'. Add Oxford comma for clarity. 'Connected with nature' is correct.

× And it also one of the ways to relieve stress after work or any situation that feel bad.

✓ It is also one of the ways to relieve stress after work or in any situation that feels bad.

Missing verb 'is'. Use 'one of the ways' requires 'is'. Use 'in any situation that feels bad' and 'feels' to agree with 'situation' (singular).

× So just walk, just go and walk and you feel better.

✓ So just go for a walk and you will feel better.

Original repeats and fragments. Use full imperative 'go for a walk' and future result 'you will feel better' for natural advice structure.

× I would like to take a long walk along the beach because the sound of the waves makes me relax, regulates my emotions and also the beautiful scenery, feeling like I am connected with the nature and it also helps to clear my mind and ready to go on another battle.

✓ I would like to take a long walk along the beach because the sound of the waves relaxes me, regulates my emotions, and the beautiful scenery makes me feel connected with nature. It also helps clear my mind and makes me ready to face another challenge.

Use consistent verb forms: 'relaxes me' and 'regulates my emotions' (third-person singular). Remove unnecessary articles: 'connected with nature' not 'the nature'. 'Ready to go on another battle' is idiomatic error; use 'ready to face another challenge'. Use parallel structure and split into two sentences for clarity.

× I've been walking from our office to terminal and the location of our office is inside a subdivision so there's a lot of greenies sceneries there and walking there feel helps me to calm, clear my mind and feel connected with the nature.

✓ I've been walking from our office to the terminal. Our office is inside a subdivision so there are a lot of green sceneries there, and walking there helps me calm down, clear my mind, and feel connected with nature.

Add article 'the terminal'. Use 'there are' for plural 'green sceneries' (better: 'green scenery' or 'green areas'). Remove 'feel' redundancy; use 'helps me calm down' and parallel verbs 'clear' and 'feel'. Drop 'the' before 'nature'. 'Greenies' is informal and incorrect.