走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장이 중복되고 비문(어순·전치사 사용 오류)이 있어 명확성이 떨어집니다. 답변은 주제문으로 시작하고, 한두 개의 구체적 이유(예: 시간, 거리, 활동)를 연결어(with/so/because 등)를 사용해 논리적으로 확장하세요. 불필요한 반복과 채우기 표현(uh, and I)을 줄이고 문장 길이는 최대 4문장으로 유지하세요.

範例: Yes, I walk quite often. Every morning I take a 30-minute stroll along the riverside path because it is close to my home and helps me feel relaxed. Sometimes I listen to music while walking, which makes it even more refreshing.

建議: 의미는 전달되지만 표현이 어색하고 반복이 있습니다('my place' 반복). 연결어를 사용해 이유와 상황을 더 간결히 설명하세요. 구체적인 기억이나 빈도(예: every afternoon, twice a week)를 추가하면 더 자연스럽습니다.

範例: Yes, definitely. As a child I often walked to the nearby river because there were no playgrounds in our neighborhood, so my friends and I would spend afternoons exploring the riverside twice a week.

建議: 이유는 제시했지만 문장이 끝나지 않고 불필요한 반복이 있습니다. 일반적인 진술 뒤에 구체적 결과나 예시를 덧붙여 논리적으로 연결하세요(so, therefore, for example). 자연스러운 어휘(go for a walk, by the trees)를 사용하세요.

範例: People enjoy walking in parks because of the trees and flowers, which create a peaceful atmosphere. For example, walking under shaded paths can reduce stress and improve your mood.

建議: 장소를 말하는 데 성공했지만 발화가 어수선하고 단어 선택과 문법(‘a Long Beach’, 'soccer beach' 불명확)이 부정확합니다. 하나의 명확한 답변을 제시하고 이유나 구체적 이미지(views, sea breeze, length of walk 등)를 연결어로 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 망설임을 줄이세요.

範例: If I had the chance, I'd take a long walk along Long Beach because I love the sea breeze and wide sandy shores. The endless coastline and beautiful sunset views would make the walk very relaxing.

建議: 장소와 이유는 전달되지만 문장이 미완성되고 단어(beautiful scenery는 셀 수 없음 표현 등)와 구조가 어색합니다. 한두 문장으로 완결된 설명을 하고 구체적 관찰(what you saw or did, when)과 연결어(for example, because)를 추가하세요.

範例: I recently went for a walk along the Hangang River, which is close to my home. I enjoyed the city skyline, saw many people walking their dogs, and felt the relaxed atmosphere by the water.

× Yeah, I do look a lot uh, when I wake up, I used to walk on Riverside of path, a path of Riverside because it is nearby my place and also I feel relaxed when I go there and I.

✓ Yeah, I look around a lot. When I wake up, I usually walk along the riverside path because it is near my home, and I also feel relaxed when I go there.

The original sentence has awkward verb forms and connectors. 'do look a lot' is unnecessary; use simple present 'I look around a lot'. 'used to walk' suggests a past habit; the question asks about current habits, so use 'usually walk'. 'on Riverside of path, a path of Riverside' is incorrect preposition and word order; use 'along the riverside path'. 'nearby my place' should be 'near my home'. Remove the trailing 'and I' fragment. Suggestion: simplify verbs to match present habitual action and correct prepositions and word order. ID:10

× I definitely say yes. When I was a child there were no places to play with my friends so I had to walk alongside my place and their river nearby my place.

✓ I would definitely say yes. When I was a child there were no places to play with my friends, so I had to walk near my home and the river nearby.

'I definitely say yes' is incorrect tense and phrasing for a past reference; 'I would definitely say yes' or 'I would say yes' fits conversational response. 'walk alongside my place' is unnatural; use 'walk near my home'. 'their river nearby my place' is confusing pronoun use; change to 'the river nearby'. Also add a comma before 'so'. Suggestion: use consistent past tense and clearer noun phrases. ID:5

× Because, uh, whenever you go to the park, there are a lot of trees and flowers, so people feel happy and relaxed when they go walk alongside a park and.

✓ Because whenever you go to the park there are a lot of trees and flowers, so people feel happy and relaxed when they walk around the park.

'go walk alongside a park' uses wrong verb combination and preposition. Use 'walk around the park' or 'walk in the park'. Remove the trailing 'and'. Also commas can be simplified. Suggestion: use 'walk around' for moving within a park and avoid redundant 'go walk'. ID:11

× I want to walk a Long Beach uh, I love to go to the beach uh, especially soccer beach as you know, uh, there are a lot of uh, beautiful scenery, uh, which.

✓ I want to walk on Long Beach. I love going to the beach, especially Soccer Beach. As you know, there is a lot of beautiful scenery there.

'a Long Beach' is incorrect article and capitalisation; for a named place use no article or 'on Long Beach'. 'I love to go to the beach' is okay but 'love going' is more natural. 'soccer beach' seems to be a proper name and should be capitalized and treated as a place name. 'there are a lot of beautiful scenery' is wrong: 'scenery' is uncountable and takes singular verb 'there is a lot of scenery' or 'there are many beautiful sights'. Sentence ended with 'which' fragment; complete the thought. Suggestion: fix articles, treat place names properly, correct countability of 'scenery'. ID:22

× I went to Hangang River, it is nearby my place and there are a lot of beautiful scenery, uh, skylines and dogs and people who are.

✓ I went to the Hangang River. It is near my home and there is a lot of beautiful scenery, like skylines, dogs, and people.

Run-on sentence; split into two sentences. Use 'the Hangang River' with article for a specific river. 'nearby my place' should be 'near my home'. 'there are a lot of beautiful scenery' is incorrect because 'scenery' is uncountable and requires 'there is a lot of scenery' or use 'many beautiful sights'. The ending 'people who are' is an unfinished fragment; remove or complete it. Suggestion: split sentences, correct article use, fix countability and complete fragments. ID:6