走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make your answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details. Avoid repetition and minor grammar errors (use past simple and present simple correctly). Use linking words such as “but” or “however” to show contrast.

範例: I used to walk a lot when I worked as a tour guide because I led visitors around the Hanukkah quarter. However, now I work in an office and spend most of my day sitting, so I don’t walk as much as before.

建議: Answer directly and expand with a clear reason and example. Use a natural subject order (“my friends and I”) and link ideas with “because” or “so”. Keep it concise and grammatically correct.

範例: Not really. I spent most of my time at school, so when I had free time my friends and I usually rode our bicycles to the grocery store instead of walking.

建議: Organize your response: give one main reason and a supporting detail or example. Reduce hesitation words, avoid repetition, and use linking phrases like “for example” or “also” correctly.

範例: People like to walk in parks because parks offer green, peaceful spaces to relax. For example, walking in a park helps you meet neighbors, get fresh air, and enjoy nature away from city noise.

建議: Be specific and fluent: start with a clear statement of your preference, then give a detailed example and reason. Remove filler words and finish sentences fully. Use adjectives and coherent linking words.

範例: I would like to take a long walk in the mountains of Vietnam because the scenery is stunning. For instance, walking along mountain trails would let me enjoy panoramic views, fresh air, and local plants and wildlife.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence and one or two specific details (time, distance, reason). Avoid filler phrases like “you know.” Use correct tense and concise phrasing.

範例: I recently traveled to China in May for five days, and I walked about 12 to 15 kilometers each day. The city was very walkable and surrounded by attractive scenery, which made walking enjoyable.

× In the past I used to walk a lot because at that time I became tour guide, so I need to walk a lot around the Hanukkah quarter.

✓ In the past I used to walk a lot because at that time I became a tour guide, so I needed to walk a lot around the Hanukkah quarter.

The sentence mixes past and present tense: 'used to' and 'became' are past, but 'need' is present. Use the past tense 'needed' to maintain consistent past narration; also add the article 'a' before 'tour guide'. Suggestion: keep verbs in the same time frame and include necessary articles.

× But right now because I go to outfit to work, so just sit down at the office all the time, so don't spend a lot of time walking around.

✓ But right now I go to the office to work, so I just sit at the office all the time and don't spend a lot of time walking around.

Several issues: incorrect word 'outfit' should be 'office'; subject pronoun 'I' is missing before 'just sit'; tense and structure improved by using 'so I just sit' and combining clauses with 'and'. This fixes verb presence and word choice.

× Not really. When I was a kid I went to school all day, but actually when I had time, I and my friends, we used to go to the grocery store by bicycle rather than walking.

✓ Not really. When I was a kid I went to school all day, but when I had time my friends and I used to go to the grocery store by bicycle rather than walking.

Word order 'I and my friends' is unnatural in English; use 'my friends and I'. Remove redundant 'actually' and 'we' since 'my friends and I' already functions as the subject. Maintain past tense 'used to' correctly.

× I think parks provide green space for people to walk around and also in park, uh at parks people can make friends together when they see someone also walk around like them so they can come to talk and then also enjoy their natural life in the park as well.

✓ I think parks provide green space for people to walk around, and in parks people can make friends when they see someone else walking like them, so they can talk and enjoy nature in the park.

Preposition and article use: change 'in park, uh at parks' to 'in parks'; use 'someone else' and the gerund 'walking' for correct verb form. 'Enjoy their natural life' is awkward; 'enjoy nature' is clearer. Remove redundant words 'together' and 'as well' to streamline the sentence.

× I think I would like to walk when I umm in the place have beautiful nature.

✓ I think I would like to walk in a place that has beautiful nature.

The original lacks proper structure and verb forms. Use 'in a place that has' to convey location and possession. Avoid filler 'umm' in formal responses. Gerund/infinitive not required here; restructure to a clear relative clause.

× For example, when I go to the mountainous area in Vietnam and I see the Mountain View the nature.

✓ For example, when I go to the mountainous areas in Vietnam and see the mountain views and nature.

The phrase 'Mountain View the nature' is ungrammatical. Use plural 'areas' and 'mountain views' and remove extra 'the'. Keep parallel structure: 'go... and see...' Also 'mountain views and nature' is concise.

× So I really want to walk in the long way to explore the beauty and.

✓ So I really want to take long walks to explore the scenery.

'Walk in the long way' is awkward; idiomatic expression is 'take long walks'. 'Explore the beauty' is vague—'explore the scenery' or 'explore the natural beauty' is clearer. Remove the trailing 'and' and complete the thought.

× Recently I traveled to China in May within 5 days and every day I walked a lot, around 12 to 15 kilometers per day.

✓ Recently I traveled to China in May for five days, and every day I walked a lot, around 12 to 15 kilometers per day.

Use 'for five days' rather than 'within 5 days' for duration. Numbers: spell out small numbers in speech but numeral is acceptable; keep past tense 'traveled' and 'walked'. This clarifies the duration.

× And I think at this place is, you know, very walkable city with beautiful nature, so that's why I walk.

✓ I think this place is a very walkable city with beautiful nature, so that's why I walked a lot.

Remove extraneous 'at' and rearrange to 'this place is a very walkable city'. Match past narration 'walked a lot' with 'traveled' earlier. Include article 'a' before 'very walkable city'. 'You know' is filler and can be omitted.