走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 文法と語順の誤りを直し、簡潔で自然な表現にすること。具体的には不要な繰り返しを避け、職業と散歩の理由を明確に分けた二つの文を使うと良いです。また「a significant time amount of time」のような不自然な語順は正しく修正しましょう。発音や流暢さを上げるために、短い練習用フレーズを音読してリズムを整えること。

範例: Yes, I walk a lot. I work as a nurse and spend many hours on my feet at the hospital, and I also walk my dog twice a day, in the morning and in the evening.

建議: 同じ意味の接続表現（Thereforeなど）が重複しているので一つにまとめ、より自然な過去習慣の表現を使いましょう。具体的には“if I had time”や“engaging actual activities”のような不自然な語句を修正し、例として行動や頻度を明確に述べると良いです。

範例: Yes, I did. As a child I often played outside with my brother and friends, usually soccer or dodgeball, so I spent a lot of time walking and running around.

建議: 文法と語順の誤り（"they are clear to merits in working in a park"など）を直し、理由をはっきり分けて述べる練習をしてください。具体的には、接続詞（Firstly, Secondly, In addition）を使い分け、各理由の後に簡単な具体例や結果を付けると説得力が増します。語彙はシンプルで正確な単語を選びましょう（e.g. 'benefits', 'feel refreshed', 'good exercise'）。

範例: People like walking in parks for several reasons. Firstly, being surrounded by nature helps them feel relaxed and refreshed. Secondly, regular walks in a park provide good exercise and improve overall health.

建議: 仮定法の時制に注意し、文全体をより自然な英語に直しましょう（If I had the chance…）。また理由を述べる際に具体性を増し、接続詞を適切に使うと良いです。'come across'の後に複数形や冠詞を正しく使い、冗長な表現を避けてください。

範例: If I had the chance to take a long walk, I would explore the city. Walking lets me discover small local shops and food stalls I wouldn't notice from a car, so I prefer walking to taking transport.

建議: 不自然な構文（"which it can help me"など）を修正し、過去・現在の時制を統一しましょう。『最近』について話すなら現在完了や現在形を自然に使い、出会う場所の具体例を簡潔に述べてから、運動効果について短く結論づけると良いです。

範例: Lately I usually walk around my neighborhood with my dog. We often pass a convenience store and a small shrine, and those daily walks help me stay in shape.

× Yes I do, I use I work as a nurse so I usually a significant time amount of time working in the hospital.

✓ Yes I do. I work as a nurse so I usually spend a significant amount of time working in the hospital.

Subject uses present simple to describe routine, but original had word order and unnecessary words: 'I use I work' is wrong and 'a significant time amount of time' is ungrammatical. Correct verb 'spend' + 'a significant amount of time' is standard collocation. Use punctuation to separate sentences. Suggestion: say 'I work as a nurse, so I usually spend a significant amount of time in the hospital.'

× Apart from that I have a dog which is required to walk twice in a day.

✓ Apart from that, I have a dog which needs to be walked twice a day.

Use 'needs to be walked' (passive necessity) or 'needs walking'. 'Required to walk' incorrectly suggests the dog itself must perform the walking. 'twice a day' is the correct adverbial phrase. Suggestion: 'my dog needs to be walked twice a day.'

× I usually take her for a walk both in the morning and evening.

✓ I usually take her for a walk both in the morning and in the evening.

Add 'in the' before 'evening' to parallel 'in the morning' and make the adverbial phrases consistent. Present simple correctly describes habitual action.

× Therefore, if I had a time, I usually tried to go out for engaging actual activities such as soccer or dodgeball with my brother or my friends as well.

✓ When I had time, I usually tried to go out to do active activities such as soccer or dodgeball with my brother or my friends.

Mixes conditional 'if I had' with habitual past 'usually tried' — better to use 'when I had time' for habitual past. 'go out for engaging actual activities' is awkward; use 'go out to do active activities' or 'play sports'. 'as well' is redundant. Suggestion: 'When I had time, I usually played soccer or dodgeball with my brother or friends.'

× Therefore, I did a lot of walking when I was a child.

✓ Therefore, I walked a lot when I was a child.

'Did a lot of walking' is acceptable but less natural than simple past 'walked a lot'. Use consistent past-tense simple narrative. Suggestion: keep tense consistent with previous sentences.

× I think they are clear to merits in working in a park.

✓ I think there are clear benefits to walking in a park.

Original phrase is ungrammatical. 'Clear to merits' is incorrect. Use noun 'benefits' or 'merits' and correct verb phrase 'there are'. Also 'walking in a park' fits context. Suggestion: 'I think there are clear benefits to walking in a park.'

× Firstly by walking in parks and people can feel refreshed in nature.

✓ Firstly, by walking in parks, people can feel refreshed in nature.

Comma placement and removal of extra conjunction 'and' fixes sentence structure. 'by walking in parks people can feel' is correct; use commas to set off the introductory phrase. Suggestion: insert commas and remove 'and'.

× Apart from that, by walking in the parks as a daily routine, it can help people have a good exercise.

✓ Apart from that, walking in parks as a daily routine can help people get good exercise.

Article 'the parks' is unnecessary; plural 'parks' generalizes. 'it can help people have a good exercise' is unidiomatic; use 'help people get good exercise' or 'stay fit'. Also remove extraneous 'it'. Suggestion: 'walking in parks as a daily routine can help people get good exercise.'

× If I have a chance of walking for a long time, I definitely explore the city because by walking in the city, we can come across some local night shops such as souvenir shop or ice cream shop.

✓ If I had a chance to walk for a long time, I would definitely explore the city because by walking in the city we can come across local night shops such as souvenir shops or ice cream shops.

The question is hypothetical; use second conditional 'If I had... I would...'. 'have a chance of walking' should be 'had a chance to walk'. Pluralize 'shops'. Remove extra 'by' after 'because' and adjust article use. Suggestion: use correct conditional and plural nouns.

× Therefore, I prefer walking to using transportation.

✓ Therefore, I prefer walking to using transportation.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. Explanation: 'prefer' + gerund 'walking' vs 'using' is correct for expressing general preference.

× These days I live with my dog.

✓ These days I live with my dog.

Sentence is correct as written. 'These days' + present simple describes current situation.

× My dog needs to take a walk twice in a day.

✓ My dog needs to be taken for a walk twice a day.

Animals are 'taken for a walk' by someone; 'needs to take a walk' sounds like the dog does it alone. Use passive 'needs to be taken' or 'I need to take my dog for a walk'. Also 'twice a day' is correct adverbial phrase.

× Therefore we usually walk around the neighborhood.

✓ Therefore, we usually walk around the neighborhood.

Add comma after introductory 'Therefore'. The sentence structure is otherwise correct.

× We can come across the convenience store or the local shrine, which it can help me maintain my body shape as well.

✓ We can come across a convenience store or the local shrine, which also helps me maintain my fitness.

'Come across' takes an indefinite article for non-specific places: 'a convenience store'. Remove the redundant pronoun 'it' after 'which'. 'Maintain my body shape' is awkward in English; 'maintain my fitness' or 'stay in shape' is more natural. Suggestion: 'which also helps me stay in shape.'