走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and combine short related ideas with linking words. Be concise and correct minor grammar errors (e.g., "especially that I have a 12-hour shift" → "I work 12-hour shifts").

範例: Yes, I walk a lot. I take a daily morning walk, and my job also involves long periods on my feet because I work 12-hour shifts, so I’m often rushing between tasks and feel quite tired by the end of the day.

建議: Begin with a concise topic sentence, remove filler words ("umm"), and use clear past tense. Keep it natural but sensitive when mentioning loss—say it simply. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "and", "but").

範例: Yes. When I was a child, my father and I used to walk and jog on the beach at around 5:30 a.m. until sunrise, and I would like to try that again now, although my father has passed away.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence, avoid filler and hesitation, and use correct grammar and collocations ("people like", "a relaxed atmosphere", "greenery"). Offer two or three specific reasons linked with connectors.

範例: People like walking in parks because they offer a relaxed atmosphere and fresh air. In addition, parks have lots of trees, plants and flowers, which makes walks peaceful and visually pleasant.

建議: Start with a direct topic sentence and avoid negative comparisons unless needed. Use correct subject-verb agreement and give one or two specific reasons with linking words ("because", "for example").

範例: I would like to take a long walk on the beach, especially near my hometown. I enjoy the sound of the waves and the wide open views, which feel more relaxing than walking in a crowded park.

建議: Answer directly and avoid repeating the same idea. Use correct tense and concise phrasing: explain briefly why you haven’t walked recently and give a short example of a recent walk if possible. Correct awkward phrasing ("I often walk to the hospital for 12 hours").

範例: I haven't gone for many walks lately because my schedule is hectic. I work 12-hour shifts at the hospital, which leaves me physically drained, so I rarely have time or energy for personal walks.

× Especially that I have a 12 hour shift and it's quite tiring.

✓ I have a 12-hour shift and it is quite tiring.

Use of 'Especially that' is informal and ungrammatical here. Hyphenate '12-hour' as a compound adjective before 'shift'. Replace contraction 'it's' with 'it is' if more formal; either is acceptable. Keep present simple to match context.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside for a walk when you were a child?

The question form 'Did you' requires the base verb 'go', which is correct; change preposition 'to have a walk' to the idiomatic 'for a walk'. Keep past tense auxiliary 'Did' and base verb 'go'.

× Yes umm back when I was a child, my father and I used to walk and jog around the beach every or around the 5:30 AM till sun sunrise and I would like to try that again in the present moment but without my father since he passed.

✓ Yes, when I was a child my father and I used to walk and jog on the beach at around 5:30 AM until sunrise, and I would like to try that again now, but without my father since he passed away.

Use 'used to' for habitual past actions (correct). Use 'on the beach' not 'around the beach'. Use 'at around 5:30 AM' for time and 'until sunrise' rather than 'till sun sunrise'. 'In the present moment' is awkward; use 'now'. Add 'away' after 'passed' to complete the phrase 'passed away'. Punctuation and commas improve clarity.

× People likes the feeling of the light atmosphere.

✓ People like the feeling of the light atmosphere.

Subject 'People' is plural, so the verb must be base form 'like' without -s. Maintain present simple.

× Umm, parks have or contains a lot of trees and greens, plants with flowers.

✓ Parks contain a lot of trees and greenery, with many flowering plants.

Combine ideas into a natural expression. 'Parks contain' uses plural subject with verb 'contain'. 'Greens' is unnatural; use 'greenery'. 'Plants with flowers' is better as 'flowering plants'.

× That's why people reluct, reluctantly, she says, to walk on.

✓ That's why people are reluctant to walk there.

'Reluct' is not a verb; use adjective 'reluctant' and the verb 'are' for passive state. Use 'to walk there' rather than ending with the preposition 'on'. Remove 'she says' which is irrelevant. Keep sentence concise and grammatical.

× Unlike most people who likes walking in parks, I would like to walk on beaches, especially in my hometown.

✓ Unlike most people who like walking in parks, I would like to walk on beaches, especially in my hometown.

Relative clause 'who like' refers to 'most people' (plural), so use 'like' not 'likes'.

× There's a lot of beaches here and I chose beaches because of the waves from the ocean.

✓ There are a lot of beaches here, and I choose beaches because of the waves from the ocean.

'There is' contracts to 'There's' but should match plural 'beaches' so use 'There are'. 'Chose' is past tense; since the speaker states a general preference use present 'choose'. Also add comma and keep consistent tense.

× Lately, I don't really walk frequently because of my hectic schedule and my demanding career.

✓ Lately, I haven't really been walking much because of my hectic schedule and demanding job.

'Lately' calls for present perfect continuous or present perfect: 'haven't been walking' or 'haven't really walked'. 'Walk frequently' is awkward; 'walking much' or 'walking frequently' could work. 'Demanding job' is more natural than 'demanding career'.

× Since I have a 12 hour shift, I often walk to the hospital for 12 hours that it makes me physically drained that I don't have time to walk for myself.

✓ Since I have a 12-hour shift, I am on my feet at the hospital for 12 hours, which makes me physically drained and leaves me no time to walk for myself.

Original sentence is run-on and unclear. Hyphenate '12-hour'. Use 'am on my feet' to express being active during the shift. Replace 'that it makes me' with 'which makes me' to connect causes, and 'leaves me no time' is a natural expression. Fix verb agreement and sentence flow.