走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Give a direct topic sentence and add one or two specific details. Avoid filler words like 'umm.' For example, state how often you walk and why (for exercise, commute, or leisure). Keep it within 1–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I walk almost every day for about 30 minutes to stay fit and clear my mind. I usually walk around my neighborhood in the morning because the streets are quiet and the air feels fresh.

建議: Answer directly in the past tense and give a clear reason with specific detail. Avoid hesitation and grammatical errors (use 'did' and past verbs). Limit to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like 'because' or 'so.'

範例: No, I didn’t go out much as a child because my mother worried about safety. Therefore I usually played at home or in the small yard instead of walking around the neighborhood.

建議: Provide a clear, organized response with two or three specific reasons, linked coherently. Use vocabulary relevant to parks (green space, fresh air, exercise, relaxation) and avoid repetition. Use linking words like 'firstly' and 'also.'

範例: People like to walk in parks because they offer green space and fresh air, which is relaxing after a busy day. Also, parks are safer and more pleasant than busy streets, and they often have paths and benches that make walking comfortable.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the place, then give concrete sensory details (what you would see, hear, feel). Use correct tense and concise phrasing. Limit to 2–3 sentences and avoid vague or repetitive language.

範例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in a quiet forest reserve where I could listen to birds and enjoy the scent of pine. Walking there would help me relax and appreciate the blue sky and natural scenery.

建議: Answer in the past tense with a clear reason and specific details about the place and timing. Remove filler words and provide one or two supporting details (when, who you were with, what you did).

範例: Recently I walked at the shopping mall because it was very hot outside. I spent about an hour there walking through the corridors and window-shopping to stay cool.

× No, I don't uh, because uh, my mother uh, cried of me and uh, and she not allowed, uh, to, uh, me to outside, uh, for walking or uh, umm, our applying the on the on the ground or lying.

✓ No, I didn't, because my mother cried about me and she did not allow me to go outside to walk or lie on the ground.

The sentence has multiple pronoun and verb form errors. 'I don't' should be past 'I didn't' to match 'when you were a child' (past tense). 'Cried of me' is incorrect; use 'cried about me' or better 'was worried about me.' 'She not allowed' needs auxiliary do: 'she did not allow me.' The pronoun order 'to me to outside' is wrong; use 'allow me to go outside.' Suggestions: keep past tense consistent, use correct verb forms with do-support for negatives, and place pronouns before infinitives (allow me to ...).

× Uh, because for their, uh, safety and they tend to walking, uh, on buses, uh, on bus along, uh, trees to get a fresh air, umm, they're working outside or working, uh, is the street not, uh, suitable for uh, Walker, uh, because their, uh, uh, money cards.

✓ Because of their safety, people tend to walk along tree-lined streets to get fresh air; working outside is not suitable for walkers because of safety and traffic.

Errors include incorrect pronouns 'their' instead of 'people' and verb form 'tend to walking' which should be 'tend to walk' (infinitive after 'tend to'). 'On buses' and 'on bus along trees' are unclear; use 'walk along tree-lined streets.' 'They're working outside or working' unclear — rephrase to 'working outside.' 'Walker' should be plural 'walkers' if used. Suggestions: use 'tend to' + base verb, ensure noun/pronoun agreement, and choose clear prepositional phrases like 'along streets' or 'in parks.'

× I would like to take a long walk by has the chance and a blaze a blaze saluted which can I hear birds and I feel and uh, I feel dumb and diving in nature then looking forward to the blue sky that's will be off the shots.

✓ I would like to take a long walk if I had the chance in a peaceful place where I could hear birds; I would feel relaxed and immersed in nature, looking up at the blue sky.

The original mixes conditional and tense incorrectly. 'By has the chance' should be 'if I had the chance' (second conditional with 'would like'). 'Which can I hear birds' should be 'where I could hear birds' (relative clause + correct modal). 'I feel dumb and diving' is incorrect; use 'I would feel relaxed and immersed.' 'That's will be off the shots' is ungrammatical; rewrite as 'looking up at the blue sky.' Suggestions: use the correct conditional structure 'would like + if + past' and match modals ('could') and use appropriate verbs ('feel relaxed', 'immersed in nature').

× Umm, actually I went uh, to the shobang mall because uh, the weather in my city is uh, hot. I couldn't, umm, I couldn't uh, get uh, our doors, uh, to walk. Then I uh, go there, uh, because umm, uh.

✓ Actually, I went to the shopping mall because the weather in my city was hot. I couldn't go outside to walk, so I went there.

Tense inconsistency: 'the weather... is hot' should be past 'was hot' to match 'I went.' 'I couldn't... get our doors' is incorrect phrasing; use 'go outside.' 'Then I go there' should be past 'I went there.' Suggestions: keep past tense consistent when recounting past events, use common verbs 'go outside' instead of 'get our doors,' and avoid repetition.