走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid fillers (uh, um) and repetition. Aim for 2–4 sentences and use more natural phrases (e.g., “I don’t walk much” not “I don’t go”).

範例: No, I don’t walk much. Instead, I exercise at home and do dance workouts because I feel more comfortable indoors. Also, I prefer private workouts since I’m self-conscious about exercising in public.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence then follow with specific, coherent details. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and avoid irrelevant or confusing phrases. Keep sentences compact and grammar correct (e.g., past tense: “my mom took me”).

範例: Yes, I often walked outside as a child because my mother would take me on evening walks. We enjoyed looking at the moon and eating snacks together, and I loved exploring the neighbourhood with other children.

建議: Begin with a direct answer (people like parks because...). Then give 2 specific reasons, linked clearly (for example, because..., and...). Use more precise vocabulary (flat paths, fresh air, safe environment) and correct grammar.

範例: People often prefer parks because the paths are flat and safe for walking. Also, parks offer fresh air and pleasant scenery, which makes exercise more enjoyable, especially for older people.

建議: Answer directly (I would walk in...). Give 1–2 vivid, specific reasons and avoid repetition. Use linking words (because, so) and correct phrasing (e.g., “a village with lots of greenery”).

範例: I would like to walk in a rural village surrounded by greenery because the scenery is refreshing and peaceful. Walking there would be relaxing and a nice break from city noise.

建議: Give a clear answer about your most recent walk, even if you rarely walk. State when and where you last walked, and one brief reason. Avoid contradictory and repetitive statements; use correct past tense and concise language.

範例: I don’t walk often, but my last walk was about two weeks ago when I walked to a nearby park for 20 minutes to get some fresh air. I usually prefer gym or dance workouts, which is why I rarely go for walks.

× No, I think I don't go because instead of that I go for, I do some work and uh, I do some dance workout like that.

✓ No, I don't go for walks; instead, I do housework and dance workouts.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and sentence structure (incorrect use of pronouns, unclear subjects). Replace vague pronouns and restructure into clear clauses: 'I don't go for walks' and 'I do housework and dance workouts'. Use parallel structure and appropriate nouns.

× I do because, uh, I don't like that.

✓ I don't do it because I don't like it.

Pronouns were used unclearly ('that'). Use 'it' to refer to the activity and place the negation before the verb for clarity.

× Uh, people are starting to see us and uh, I think maybe it's not.

✓ People might see us, and I don't feel comfortable about that.

Unclear pronouns and incomplete clause. Replace vague phrases with a clear subject and a complete opinion to express discomfort.

× Yes, of course, because, uh, in childhood, my mom take me outside and take food and they go and see the sky.

✓ Yes, of course. When I was a child, my mom took me outside with food, and we would look at the sky.

Mixed tenses and incorrect verb form 'take' (should be past 'took'). Pronoun reference 'they' was incorrect for mother and child; use 'we'. Use past tense consistently for childhood activities.

× There is a moon.

✓ We would look at the moon.

Standalone 'There is a moon' is odd in context. Use an action-focused sentence with correct subject 'we' to fit narrative.

× They told there is a moon.

✓ They would point out the moon to us.

Awkward structure 'told there is a moon'. Use a clear verb and object: 'point out the moon to us' or 'told us about the moon'.

× Eat you didn't eat means they will catch you like that.

✓ If you didn't finish your food, they would scold you or try to make you eat.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. Use a conditional 'If' clause and clearer verbs 'scold' or 'try to make you eat' to convey meaning.

× They will do.

✓ They would do that.

Shift 'will' to 'would' to maintain past narrative (reported habitual past behavior).

× And I go for walking outside because in childhood I love to walk in outside because, uh, they surround us as we see lot of.

✓ I used to go for walks outside because, as a child, I loved walking and enjoying the surroundings.

Mixed tenses and incorrect word order. Use 'used to' for past habitual, 'loved' past tense, and fix prepositional phrase 'in outside' to 'outside' or 'the surroundings'.

× Maybe they think that is easy to walk because it's a level is, uh, flat in roadside.

✓ Maybe they think walking is easy because parks have flat, level surfaces near the roadside.

Awkward structure and tense. Use 'walking is easy' (noun phrase) and correct adjective order 'flat, level surfaces'.

× They have up and down, they have roads.

✓ On roads there are ups and downs, but parks are flat.

Original has choppy clauses. Clarify contrast between roads and parks with a complete sentence.

× So it's park means it's a flat surface.

✓ A park is a flat surface.

Redundant phrasing. Use simple noun phrase 'A park is a flat surface' rather than 'it's park means'.

× So they were easily walk and they do some workout in also for I think the old people most like to work in park because it's easy to walk.

✓ So people can walk easily and do workouts there. I think older people especially like parks because walking is easy.

Incorrect verb forms and pronouns. Use 'people can walk', 'do workouts', and clarify 'older people' with correct comparative structure.

× I think probably I walk in, uh, some village, like a greenery place I want to tour walk because that is so nice, so refreshing mind.

✓ I would probably walk in a village or a green area because it is refreshing and pleasant.

Use conditional 'would' for hypothetical 'if I had the chance'. Fix noun phrases: 'green area' and 'refreshing and pleasant'.

× So naturally it's full of greenish and it's have, uh, it's like a solid, uh, surface and we walk in so nice.

✓ It is naturally full of greenery, and it has solid paths that are nice to walk on.

Incorrect adjective 'greenish' and wrong verb 'have'. Use noun 'greenery' and 'has solid paths'; place adjectives properly.

× Uh, I want to visit for village and town outside.

✓ I want to visit villages and towns outside the city.

Incorrect preposition and pluralization; use plural 'villages and towns' and clarify 'outside the city'.

× I prefer, I don't like walking instead of walking.

✓ Actually, I don't like walking; I prefer other activities.

Contradictory phrasing 'prefer, I don't like walking instead of walking'. Clarify by stating dislike and preference.

× I go for a gym or working in home or I do some dance workout, uh, because I don't like, I experience that few days I 10 days I walk.

✓ I go to the gym, work at home, or do dance workouts. I tried walking for ten days, but I didn't like it.

Mixed forms and tense. Use parallel verb forms 'go to the gym, work at home, do dance workouts' and past tense 'tried' and 'didn't like' for completed experience.

× I don't like that. So I stopped that. So I don't like walking.

✓ I didn't enjoy it, so I stopped. Therefore, I don't like walking now.

Maintain clear tense sequence: past action 'stopped' and present state 'don't like'. Explain cause and result clearly.