爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cần sửa ngữ pháp số nhiều/đếm được (a book vs books), loại bỏ tiếng ngập ngừng, và làm câu mạch lạc hơn bằng các liên từ thích hợp. Mở rộng vốn từ vựng với từ miêu tả thói quen (e.g., regularly, typically) và thay cụm từ lặp bằng cách dùng từ đồng nghĩa để tránh dư thừa. Giữ câu ngắn gọn (không quá 5 câu) và cụ thể hơn về thể loại sách hoặc tác giả để tăng nội dung.

範例: Yes, I enjoy reading books because they help me relax and learn new things. I typically read for about an hour after lunch or before bed. I especially like historical novels and biographies, which give me insight into different lives and cultures. Reading regularly also improves my vocabulary and concentration.

建議: Cần sửa cấu trúc câu để rõ ràng (I tried many activities...), sửa ngữ pháp (drawings → drawing, spend → spent/ or I spend time learning), và bỏ lặp. Nên nêu rõ ví dụ cụ thể về kiểu vẽ và một kỹ thuật bạn học được để làm câu chi tiết và thuyết phục hơn. Tránh sai thì và chia động từ.

範例: I tried many activities as a child, but I discovered that drawing suited me best. Drawing helped me become more patient and creative because I practiced shading and perspective for hours. Even now I still draw regularly to relax and improve my skills.

建議: Cần chỉnh một vài lỗi ngữ pháp và dùng cụm từ tự nhiên hơn (enjoyed it then and still do). Có thể nêu tên thể loại nhạc hoặc một bài cụ thể để cụ thể hóa nội dung. Dùng liên từ để kết nối ý rõ ràng và giữ câu súc tích.

範例: My parents enrolled me in piano lessons when I was four, and I have enjoyed playing ever since. I play whenever I have free time because it helps me relax and teaches me patience. For example, when learning a new piece like Beethoven's "Für Elise," I spend many focused hours practicing until I can play it smoothly.

建議: Cần sửa ngữ pháp (every member, we share books and talk about their content), loại bỏ tiếng ngập ngừng, và diễn đạt tự nhiên hơn. Mô tả cụ thể hơn cách bạn và bố chia sẻ sách (ví dụ: discuss themes, recommend authors) để câu trả lời phong phú hơn.

範例: I think each family member has different interests, but my father and I both enjoy reading. We often lend books to each other and discuss themes, characters and our favourite parts when we have free time. That way we discover new authors and learn different perspectives.

× I really enjoy reading book.

✓ I really enjoy reading books.

Use the plural 'books' because 'reading' refers to the general activity of reading multiple books; countable nouns used in a general sense typically use the plural form. Suggestion: use 'books' or 'a book' with additional context (e.g., 'reading a book').

× I usually read book for an hour after lunch time or before going to bed.

✓ I usually read books for an hour after lunch or before going to bed.

Same issue: 'book' should be plural 'books' when talking about reading in general. Also 'lunch time' is more natural as 'lunch'. Suggestion: use 'books' and 'after lunch'.

× Uh, also through books I can immerse myself in many different lives that I have never experienced before.

✓ Also, through books I can immerse myself in many different lives I have never experienced before.

Minor word order and redundancy: 'Uh' is filler and can be omitted; 'that' is unnecessary and 'before' can be kept but sentence is clearer without extra words. Suggestion: remove fillers and unnecessary relative pronouns for clarity.

× When I was a try a try many activities but I discovered that drawings me best drawing and helped me become more creative and patient because I spend time to learning the techniques before I can draw a whole pictures by myself.

✓ When I was younger I tried many activities, but I discovered that drawing suited me best and helped me become more creative and patient because I spent time learning the techniques before I could draw whole pictures by myself.

Multiple issues: awkward phrase 'a try a try' should be 'I tried'; 'drawings me best' should be 'drawing suited me best' (sentence structure), tense errors 'spend' -> 'spent' (past), 'to learning' -> 'learning' (infinitive/gerund), 'can draw' -> 'could draw' (past ability), 'a whole pictures' -> 'whole pictures' (article and plural). Suggestion: correct verb forms to past tense and fix word choice and article usage.

× Now I'm an adult but I still practicing drawing to relax and improve skills.

✓ Now I'm an adult, but I still practice drawing to relax and improve my skills.

Incorrect verb form 'still practicing' should be the present simple 'still practice' to match habitual action. Also add possessive 'my skills'. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual actions and include possessive pronouns where needed.

× When I was 4, my parents took me to a piano class and I enjoyed the things then until now.

✓ When I was four, my parents took me to a piano class, and I have enjoyed it since then.

Tense and wording: 'enjoyed the things then until now' is awkward. Use present perfect 'have enjoyed' to express a hobby that started in the past and continues to the present. Replace 'the things' with 'it' and 'since then' for clarity. Suggestion: use present perfect for actions continuing to present.

× I still play the piano when I have free time because it helps me relax and become more patient.

✓ I still play the piano when I have free time because it helps me relax and become more patient.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. Habitual action uses present simple appropriately. Suggestion: none.

× For example, when I learn a new sheet, I have to spend a lot of time practicing and focusing before I can play it exactly.

✓ For example, when I learn a new piece, I have to spend a lot of time practicing and focusing before I can play it accurately.

Phrase 'new sheet' is incorrect; use 'new piece' or 'new sheet music'. 'Play it exactly' is awkward; use adverb 'accurately'. 'Practicing and focusing' is fine as -ing forms after 'spend time'. Suggestion: use appropriate musical term 'piece' or 'sheet music' and use precise adverb 'accurately'.

× I would say that every members in my family has their own individual identity, but luckily that my dad and I have some happy is reading.

✓ I would say that every member of my family has their own individual identity, but luckily my dad and I share a hobby: reading.

'Every members' should be singular 'every member'; use 'member of my family'. 'Has their' is acceptable as singular they but correct noun fixes agreement. Phrase 'have some happy is reading' is ungrammatical—correct to 'share a hobby: reading'. Suggestion: use 'every member' and rephrase to 'share a hobby'.

× Uh, we all we often share the books and talking about its content whenever we have free time.

✓ We often share books and talk about their content whenever we have free time.

Remove filler 'Uh' and duplicate 'we'. Use bare infinitive 'talk' rather than 'talking' after the conjunction. 'The books' unnecessary; 'books' general. Use plural possessive 'their content' to agree with 'books'. Suggestion: simplify structure and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct pronoun reference.