爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve clarity, grammar and conciseness. Start with a clear topic sentence naming 2–3 main hobbies, then give one specific reason or example for each using linking words (for example, 'for instance' or 'because'). Avoid redundancy and unrelated words. Keep to 2–4 sentences and correct word choice (e.g., 'hobbies' not 'hope', 'helps me learn about history and imagine the future').

範例: I have several hobbies, including reading, playing cricket and listening to music. For example, I read historical and science-fiction books because they help me learn about the past and imagine the future. I also listen to music every evening because it relaxes me after a busy day.

建議: Organize the answer with a clear past-tense topic sentence and specific supporting details. Use correct past tense consistently and reduce fillers ('uh'). Use linking words like 'also' or 'in addition' and give a short example (how often, with whom, where). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child, especially playing cricket every day. In addition, I often joined my friends for outdoor activities at the local park, which helped me stay fit and relaxed.

建議: Answer directly with a topic sentence stating the hobby and how long you've had it. Use clear reasons and correct word choice (e.g., 'habit' or 'routine' instead of 'Hopi') and avoid repetition. Provide a specific example of when or how you listen to music and how it benefits you. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I have listened to music since I was a child. I usually play calming music in the morning and before sleep because it helps me relax and improves my focus throughout the day.

建議: Be concise and direct. Start with a clear statement about whether you share hobbies, then give a specific example (which family members and which hobby) and a brief reason. Avoid vague phrases and unclear words ('Keith', 'SU'). Use linking words like 'for example' or 'so' and correct grammar.

範例: Yes, I share some hobbies with my family. For example, my parents and siblings enjoy listening to music, and we often play songs together at home because it helps us relax and bond.

× Certain yes, I have a lot of hope such as reading books, playing cricket, listening to music as well as swimming.

✓ Certainly yes, I have a lot of hobbies such as reading books, playing cricket, listening to music, and swimming.

Used incorrect pronoun/word 'hope' instead of 'hobbies' and 'Certain' instead of 'Certainly'. Replace with correct words to match meaning. Also add commas and 'and' before final item in a list for clarity. Use: 'hobbies' (plural noun) and adverb 'certainly'. Suggestion: Learn common collocations: 'have hobbies', 'listening to music'.

× I like to listen to music as it relaxes my mind and the pay activeness to all the works all over the day.

✓ I like to listen to music because it relaxes my mind and gives me energy for all my work throughout the day.

Sentence used wrong word 'pay activeness' and awkward phrase 'all over the day'. Replace with 'gives me energy' and 'throughout the day' to convey intended meaning. Use conjunction 'because' for reason. Maintain present simple to describe general truth. Suggestion: Use common phrases: 'relaxes my mind', 'gives me energy', 'throughout the day'.

× And I have interest in reading that helps me to know about the ancient as well as the future times of my.

✓ I am also interested in reading because it helps me learn about the past and imagine the future.

Original uses incorrect phrase 'I have interest in' (use 'I am interested in') and awkward noun phrases 'the ancient as well as the future times of my'. Correct to 'the past' and 'imagine the future' to be natural. Maintain present simple. Suggestion: Use 'interested in reading' and simple nouns 'the past'/'the future'.

× Well, I had a lot of hobbies when I was a child. I used to play cricket daily and uh, I go for, I went for the Hangouts as well as, uh, do some physical activities when I was a child that helps me to keep my body relaxed as well as the physical fit.

✓ Well, I had a lot of hobbies when I was a child. I used to play cricket every day, go on outings, and do physical activities that helped me stay relaxed and physically fit.

Mixed present and past forms: 'I used to' and 'I go for, I went for' inconsistent. Use past habitual 'used to' and past forms 'helped' to agree in tense. 'Hangouts' is informal and should be 'outings'. 'physical fit' -> 'physically fit'. Suggestion: Keep past tense consistently when describing childhood habits: 'used to', 'helped'.

× Well, I have a hobby since my childhood that is a listen to music.

✓ Well, I have had a hobby since my childhood: listening to music.

When an action started in the past and continues now, use present perfect 'have had'. Also replace 'that is a listen to music' with the gerund phrase 'listening to music'. Suggestion: Use 'have had' + 'since' and gerund for hobbies: 'listening to music'.

× I love to listen to music as it helps me to relax and refresh my daily Hopi daily routines and that helps me to start my day with a greater bonding and mature.

✓ I love listening to music because it helps me relax and refresh my daily routine, and it helps me start the day feeling more connected and mature.

Redundant and incorrect words: 'Hopi daily routines' unclear; 'greater bonding and mature' awkward. Use 'daily routine', 'feeling more connected' and 'mature' as an adjective with 'feeling'. Use gerund 'listening'. Maintain present simple for general statements. Suggestion: Keep sentences concise and use natural collocations: 'refresh my routine', 'feel more connected'.

× Generally it depends on the personality and as well as the behaviour of a personality to SU to set up a hobby and I have a lot of same hobbies as my family members have.

✓ Generally it depends on a person's personality and behaviour to choose a hobby, and I share many of the same hobbies as my family members.

Awkward phrasing and article/pronoun errors: use 'a person's' not 'the personality of a personality'. Remove unclear 'SU to set up'. Use 'share many of the same hobbies' for natural expression. Maintain present simple. Suggestion: Use possessive 'a person's', 'choose a hobby', and 'share hobbies'.

× My Keith and kids usually have the hobby of a listening to music and I also have that as a that relax their daily lives and.

✓ My parents and siblings usually enjoy listening to music, and I do too because it relaxes our daily lives.

Unclear 'My Keith and kids' likely meant 'my parents and kids/siblings'. 'the hobby of a listening to music' incorrect article and gerund use. Simplify to 'enjoy listening to music' and 'I do too'. Keep present simple. Suggestion: Use clear nouns (parents, siblings), gerund 'listening to music', and simple connectors like 'and I do too'.