爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장이 길고 중복된 표현(‘or or’)이 있으며 발음 오류와 단어 선택 실수가 있어 의사 전달이 불명확합니다. 먼저 한 두 문장으로 직접 답한 뒤, 연결어(for example, for instance)를 사용해 구체적인 예시(유튜브 채널 이름, 시청 이유, 어떤 점이 좋은지)를 간결하게 덧붙이세요. 발음이 모호한 인물명이나 단어는 천천히 정확히 말하고, 불필요한 반복을 피하세요.

範例: Yes, I do. I enjoy watching Netflix and YouTube videos. For example, I often watch a Korean travel vlogger called Bunny Butter because his videos show detailed travel tips and beautiful scenery in Europe.

建議: 답변에 주저함(uh)과 문장 미완성이 보이며 단어 사용이 부정확합니다(‘animation object pins’). 과거 취미에 대해 먼저 직접적으로 말한 뒤 이유와 구체적 에피소드(어떤 장면이 인상적이었는지)를 연결어(so, because)를 사용해 명확히 설명하세요. 문장은 2~3개로 제한해 자연스럽게 말하세요.

範例: Yes, I did. As a child I loved watching animated films, especially one called 'Dream On.' I watched it many times because it inspired me with the message that you can achieve your dreams, and I remember feeling encouraged after seeing the main character succeed.

建議: 답변이 반복적이고 문법적으로 부정확한 부분('the main story is about the basketball', 'one of my best')이 있습니다. 질문에 바로 'Yes'로 시작해 취미를 명확히 말한 뒤, 기간(‘since childhood’)을 언급하고 최근 본 작품을 예로 들어 구체적 이유(예: 캐릭터, 이야기, 감정)를 덧붙이세요. 문장은 간결하고 명확하게 구성하세요.

範例: Yes, I have. I have enjoyed watching animated films since I was a child. Recently I watched 'Slam Dunk,' a movie about basketball, and I liked it because the main character, Hanamichi, is very passionate and determined.

建議: 문장이 어색하고 일부 미완성된 표현('we open share', 'and I want')이 있습니다. 가족과 취미의 공통점을 먼저 명확히 말하고, 구체적인 활동 예(함께 보는 프로그램, 추천하는 방식)를 연결어(so, therefore)로 이어 설명하세요. 불필요한 어구는 빼고 문장을 두 세 문장으로 정리하세요.

範例: Yes, we do. My older brother also watches animated films and YouTube, so we often recommend shows to each other. For example, we recently shared a streaming series and discussed the characters together.

× Yes I do one of my hobbies is watching Netflix or or videos on YouTube and one of my favorite build over is Bunny butter which is one of the popular travel boiler put put boil logger in Korea and I saw a lot of video of him such as going to Europe.

✓ Yes, I do. One of my hobbies is watching Netflix or videos on YouTube, and one of my favorite builders is Bunny Butter, who is one of the popular travel vloggers in Korea, and I have seen a lot of his videos, such as trips to Europe.

Articles a/an/the are missing or incorrect and some nouns are countable and need articles; also 'a lot of video' should be 'a lot of videos' and 'one of my favorite build over' should be 'one of my favorite builders'. Use 'who' for people. Improve by adding commas and correct articles and plural forms.

× I saw a lot of video of him such as going to Europe.

✓ I saw a lot of videos of him, such as his trips to Europe.

Countable noun 'video' should be plural when referring to many items. Also clarify 'going to Europe' as 'his trips to Europe'.

× Yes, I did when I was a child, I uh, one of my hobbies is watching animation object pins.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was a child, one of my hobbies was watching animated cartoons.

Tense mismatch: talking about childhood requires past tense 'was' not present 'is'. Also 'animation object pins' is unclear; use 'animated cartoons'.

× So I saw animation called dream on quite a lot because that movie can that movie told me you can do everything that you want and the main.

✓ I watched an animation called Dream On quite often because the movie told me that you can do anything you want.

Sentence is fragmented and repetitive ('that movie can that movie told me'). Remove redundancy, add article 'an', and use 'anything' instead of 'everything' for natural phrasing. Complete the sentence.

× Yes, I do as far as I'm concerned these days. I also like watching animation films these days.

✓ Yes, I do. As far as I'm concerned, these days I also like watching animated films.

Redundant 'these days' twice; keep present tense 'do/like' but improve word order and reduce repetition.

× So recently I watched a movie called Slam Dunk which is the main story is about the basketball and the main character called Kang Ho is one of my best.

✓ Recently I watched a movie called Slam Dunk, which is mainly about basketball, and the main character, Kang Ho, is one of my favorites.

Awkward clause 'which is the main story is about the basketball' should be 'which is mainly about basketball'. 'is one of my best' is incomplete; use 'one of my favorites'.

× Yes I do because my older brother also like watching animation films and he's a big fan of watching videos on YouTube or Netflix.

✓ Yes, I do because my older brother also likes watching animated films and he's a big fan of watching videos on YouTube and Netflix.

Subject-verb agreement: third person singular 'my older brother' requires 'likes' not 'like'. Use 'and' instead of 'or' for services and 'animated films' for consistency.

× So we open share our hobbies or favorite TV programs to each other and I want.

✓ So we openly share our hobbies and favorite TV programs with each other.

Phrase 'open share' is incorrect; use 'openly share'. Use correct preposition 'with' instead of 'to'. The trailing 'and I want' is incomplete and should be removed or completed; here it is removed for clarity.