鞋子— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid unclear words like “spouse shoes,” and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use correct verb forms and noun agreement.

範例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes and I usually buy a pair about once a month. I especially like fashionable sneakers and heels because they show my personal style, so I often collect them and rotate them depending on the occasion.

建議: Organize into a clear topic sentence plus specific details; correct tense and phrasing, and use linking words to explain reasons and outcomes. Be specific about when, why, and what happened (e.g., sizing issue).

範例: Yes, I first bought shoes online when I was in high school because I was too busy with homework to shop in stores. However, it was an uncomfortable experience because the size didn’t fit me, so I had to return them.

建議: Provide a direct topic sentence with a clear price range and avoid unclear or incorrect words. Explain briefly why you spend that amount using linking words and a reason (quality, brand, comfort).

範例: I usually spend between $100 and $200 on a good pair of shoes. I’m willing to pay that because I value comfort and quality, and a well-made pair lasts much longer.

建議: Good structure and balance. Improve by removing filler phrases, using a clear topic sentence, and using linking words for contrast. Add a brief specific example to support each preference.

範例: I’m torn between the two, because it depends on the situation. For social events with friends or family I prefer fashionable shoes, for example stylish boots, whereas for exercise I always choose comfortable running shoes to protect my feet.

× Yes, absolutely. I like buying shoes around once a month, especially spouse shoes.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I like buying shoes about once a month, especially sports shoes.

Multiple issues: 'around once a month' is acceptable but 'about once a month' is more natural (6: Present tense issue — word choice/use). 'spouse shoes' is incorrect vocabulary; likely intended 'sports shoes' (13: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs — wrong word). Suggestion: use 'about' for frequency and correct the noun to 'sports shoes' to convey athletic footwear.

× And I think shoes is a sign of showed my style or my fashion, so I like collecting shoes.

✓ And I think shoes are a way to show my style or fashion, so I like collecting them.

Subject-verb agreement error (27: Subject-verb agreement errors): 'shoes' is plural and requires 'are' not 'is'. Sentence structure and verb form needed correction: 'a sign of showed my style' is ungrammatical. Use 'a way to show' or 'show' (26: Sentence structure errors). Also replace repeated 'shoes' with pronoun 'them' (12: Incorrect use of pronouns) to avoid redundancy. Suggestion: use plural verb 'are' and infinitive 'to show' for correct meaning.

× Yes, absolutely, I remember my first buy shoes online in my high school.

✓ Yes, absolutely, I remember my first time buying shoes online in high school.

Tense/form issue: 'remember my first buy shoes' is incorrect; use noun phrase 'first time buying' (8: Verb + -ing form) after 'first time'. Also omit 'the' before 'high school' in general statements (22: Article errors). Suggestion: use 'my first time buying' and 'in high school'.

× This is because I'm really busy for my homework and I really want their shoes.

✓ This was because I was really busy with my homework and really wanted those shoes.

Tense inconsistency (6: Present tense issue and 5: Past tense issue): the student refers to a past event, so past tense 'was' and 'wanted' should be used. Preposition error: 'busy for my homework' should be 'busy with my homework' (11: Incorrect use of prepositions). Pronoun issue: 'their shoes' is unclear; use 'those shoes' to refer to specific shoes (12: Incorrect use of pronouns). Suggestion: keep past tense and correct preposition and demonstrative pronoun.

× But I should speak in that is an uncomfortable experiences because that shows the size is not much mine.

✓ But I should say that it was an uncomfortable experience because the shoes did not fit me well.

Multiple structure and grammar errors (26: Sentence structure errors): 'speak in that is' is incorrect; use 'say that'. Number agreement: 'experiences' should be singular 'experience'. Tense: use past 'was' for a past event (5: Past tense issue). 'the size is not much mine' is ungrammatical; use 'did not fit me well' for clarity (27: Subject-verb agreement errors and 13: Incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs). Suggestion: simplify to 'say that it was an uncomfortable experience because the shoes did not fit me well'.

× Actress speaking I spend from $100 to $200 for buying shoes.

✓ To be honest, I spend between $100 and $200 on buying shoes.

Word choice and sentence starter issue: 'Actress speaking' is incorrect; likely intended 'To be honest' or similar (13: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs). Tense: for habitual action use present tense 'I spend' is fine (6: Present tense issue — confirmed). Preposition: use 'between... and' and 'on buying shoes' or better 'on shoes' (11: Incorrect use of prepositions). Suggestion: use 'To be honest, I spend between $100 and $200 on shoes.'

× For shoes, I don't care the price, uh, if I really like that condoms shoes.

✓ For shoes, I don't care about the price if I really like a pair of shoes.

Preposition and verb pattern: 'don't care the price' should be 'don't care about the price' (11: Incorrect use of prepositions). Vocabulary error: 'condoms shoes' is an incorrect and inappropriate phrase — likely intended 'converse shoes' or 'comfortable shoes' or 'cool shoes'; here use neutral 'a pair of shoes' (13: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs and wrong word). Determiner: use 'a pair of' to refer to shoes. Suggestion: replace with 'I don't care about the price if I really like a pair of shoes.'

× If I want to go out with my parents or friends, I will choose the fashionable shoes.

✓ If I want to go out with my parents or friends, I will choose fashionable shoes.

Article/number issue (1: Singular and plural issue and 22: Article errors): 'the fashionable shoes' implies specific shoes; general preference requires zero article 'fashionable shoes'. Suggestion: omit 'the' when speaking about shoes in general.

× But on the other hand, if I go to the fitness and do some exercises, I'll choose the comfortable ones.

✓ But on the other hand, if I go to the gym and do some exercise, I'll choose comfortable ones.

Word choice: 'go to the fitness' is incorrect; use 'go to the gym' (13: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs/word choice). 'do some exercises' can be 'do some exercise' or 'exercise' — both acceptable; keep singular 'exercise' for general activity. Article: 'the comfortable ones' can be simplified to 'comfortable ones' or 'comfortable shoes' (22: Article errors). Suggestion: say 'go to the gym' and 'choose comfortable ones'.