鞋子— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid filler sounds (uh, um) and unclear phrasing ("use day daily").

範例: I don't really enjoy buying shoes; I rarely buy them. Instead, I usually wear simple sandals because they are comfortable for walking and practical for everyday use.

建議: Answer directly, then give a concise, specific detail and avoid hesitations. Use linking words such as "because" or "so" to connect ideas and correct small errors (e.g., "vibrant colour shoes which was in black and green" → "a pair of black-and-green shoes").

範例: Yes, I have. I bought a pair of black-and-green walking shoes on Flipkart because I liked the vibrant design and they looked comfortable for daily walks.

建議: Be precise and realistic with numbers, and state a clear topic sentence. Use linking words to explain reasons and avoid repetitions. Replace vague phrasing with specific amounts and clearer structure.

範例: I usually spend around 700 to 1,500 rupees on a pair of shoes. I choose based on quality and comfort because I need them for everyday wear rather than heavy physical activity.

建議: Good structure and relevance. Improve fluency by removing fillers and tightening sentences. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then use linking words (e.g., "however", "for example") to explain situations with one specific example.

範例: I prefer both, depending on the occasion. For example, I wear comfortable shoes for daily errands, but I choose fashionable shoes for special events or when I want to complete a styled outfit.

× Actually, I don't like to buy shoes because I don't feel convenient to use day daily.

✓ Actually, I don't like buying shoes because I don't find them convenient for daily use.

The original uses 'feel convenient' incorrectly and 'use day daily' is ungrammatical. Use 'find something convenient' and the noun phrase 'daily use'. Also 'like to buy' is acceptable but 'like buying' is more natural here.

× Instead I use uh, normal sandals that are comfortable for walking and uh, wearing.

✓ Instead, I wear normal sandals that are comfortable for walking and wearing.

The original repeats verbs awkwardly; 'wear' covers both uses. Also a comma after 'Instead' improves flow. 'Comfortable for walking and wearing' is still slightly repetitive but grammatically correct; better: 'comfortable for walking and daily wear'.

× Yes I have bought shoes online.

✓ Yes, I have bought shoes online.

Add a comma after 'Yes' for natural speech punctuation. The present perfect tense 'have bought' is correct for unspecified past experience; no tense change needed.

× It was when I was bro browsing on Flipkart then I saw a umm vibrant colour shoes which was in uh black and green colour.

✓ It was when I was browsing Flipkart that I saw a pair of vibrant black-and-green shoes.

Remove filler words and correct structure: use 'browsing' without extra syllables, 'that' introduces the clause, 'a pair of shoes' is correct for count noun, 'black-and-green' as a compound adjective, and use past simple 'saw' consistent with the time reference.

× It was used for uh for walking.

✓ They were for walking.

Refer to 'shoes' (plural) so use plural pronoun 'they' and plural verb 'were'. 'For walking' is the correct prepositional phrase.

× I usually spend 7702 thousand rupees on shoes.

✓ I usually spend 7,702 rupees on shoes.

The original '7702 thousand rupees' wrongly multiplies the number; use either '7,702 rupees' or '7.702 thousand rupees' in another notation. Insert commas for readability.

× I mostly look on its quality and whether it is comfortable to wear daily because I won't be using for uh, heavy walking or any other physical uh any other hard physical activity.

✓ I mostly look at the quality and whether it is comfortable for daily wear because I won't be using them for heavy walking or other strenuous physical activity.

Use 'look at' not 'look on'. Refer to 'shoes' with 'them' and 'it' should be 'they' or use 'the quality' as a noun. 'Comfortable for daily wear' is idiomatic. 'Strenuous' is a better adjective than repeated 'hard physical'.

× I prefer both of them.

✓ I prefer both.

Saying 'prefer both of them' is understandable but redundant; 'prefer both' is concise. This is not strictly a grammar error but a stylistic improvement.

× It depends upon the situation or the occasion that I am in.

✓ It depends on the situation or occasion I'm in.

Use 'depends on' rather than 'depends upon' in conversational English; streamline 'the occasion' to 'occasion' and contract 'I am' to 'I'm' for natural speech.

× I usually choose comfortable one for daily usage and fashionable one for uh, one for any uh, important events or uh, for styling my outfits, et cetera.

✓ I usually choose a comfortable pair for daily use and a fashionable pair for important events or to style my outfits.

Use 'a comfortable pair' and 'a fashionable pair' because 'one' is vague with countable 'shoes'. 'Daily use' is idiomatic. Replace 'for styling my outfits' with 'to style my outfits' for correct verb form.