鞋子— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition (e.g., 'gravated towards' used twice), and give a concrete frequency. Use linking words if you add a reason.

範例: Yes, I love buying shoes. I'm a sneakerhead, so I usually buy a new pair about once a month because I enjoy collecting different styles.

建議: Use correct verb forms and clearer phrasing. Keep it brief: state yes/no, give a recent example, then one reason. Avoid idioms that may sound informal unless used naturally.

範例: Yes, I have bought shoes online many times. For example, I ordered a pair of Adidas sneakers last month and the process was smooth; the shoes arrived quickly and the quality exceeded my expectations.

建議: Answer the money question directly with an approximate amount, then explain why. Avoid repeating reasons already given and finish sentences fully. Use linking words to connect ideas.

範例: I usually spend around $50–$100 on a pair of shoes each time. I buy about one pair a month because I need specialised footwear for athletics and football, and I also like to update my sneaker collection.

建議: Give a clear preference first, then support it with reasons and examples. Be concise and avoid filler words (uh, moreover). Use linking words like 'but' or 'however' to contrast preferences.

範例: I usually prefer comfortable shoes because comfort is important for daily wear and sports. However, I also buy fashionable shoes occasionally for special events or to update my style.

× Well I have bought shoes online plethora of times like one month ago I have buy the Adidas shoes online and it was a great experience.

✓ Well, I have bought shoes online a plethora of times. About one month ago I bought Adidas shoes online and it was a great experience.

The sentence mixes present perfect and simple past incorrectly and uses the base form 'buy' where past tense or past participle is required. 'Have buy' is incorrect; use 'bought' for both simple past and past participle. Also add 'a' before 'plethora'. Split into two sentences for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'have bought' to talk about unspecified times before now and 'bought' for a specific past time (one month ago). Use 'a plethora of' when quantifying.

× Moreover, I was on cloud 9 when I received that shoes because they were top notch.

✓ Moreover, I was on cloud nine when I received those shoes because they were top-notch.

'That shoes' is incorrect because 'shoes' is plural and requires the demonstrative 'those'. 'Cloud 9' should be written 'cloud nine' and 'top notch' is usually hyphenated as 'top-notch'. Use consistent plurality and correct demonstrative pronoun.

× Well, I love buying shoes because I'm gravitated towards shoes more.

✓ Well, I love buying shoes because I'm more attracted to shoes.

'I'm gravitated towards' is incorrect passive/continuous use; 'gravitate' is intransitive and not used with 'be gravitated'. Use 'I'm attracted to' or 'I gravitate towards'. The correction uses 'more attracted to' to match intended meaning.

× I'm a sneaker head and I'm gravitated towards them and I buy them often, like one month each pair of shoes.

✓ I'm a sneakerhead and I gravitate towards them, and I buy a pair of shoes about once a month.

'Sneaker head' is typically one word 'sneakerhead'. 'I'm gravitated' is incorrect; use 'I gravitate' or 'I am attracted'. 'One month each pair of shoes' is awkward; use 'about once a month' or 'a pair of shoes about once a month' for clear frequency expression.

× Well, I buy shoes frequently because I am gravitated towards buying sneakers and sport shoes.

✓ Well, I buy shoes frequently because I gravitate towards buying sneakers and sports shoes.

Again 'am gravitated' is incorrect. Use active 'gravitate towards' to express tendency. Also 'sport shoes' is better as 'sports shoes'.

× Further, I buy a shoe every month because sometimes I need them for my practices for athletics or football shoes or sneakers and I.

✓ Further, I buy a pair of shoes every month because sometimes I need them for my athletics practices, football, or training as a sneaker enthusiast.

Sentence is unfinished and has mismatched singular/plural ('a shoe' vs 'them'). Replace 'a shoe' with 'a pair of shoes' and make the list parallel: 'athletics practices, football, or training'. Remove the trailing 'and I' or complete the thought. Ensure subject and pronoun agreement.

× Well, it will be biased to say that I prefer only fashionable shoes because I'm also gravitated towards comfortable shoes because I love being in comfort and feeling safe.

✓ It would be biased to say that I prefer only fashionable shoes because I am also drawn to comfortable shoes; I love being comfortable and feeling safe.

'Will be biased' is awkward for a hypothetical opinion; use conditional 'would be biased'. Replace 'I'm gravitated towards' with 'I am drawn to' or 'I gravitate towards'. 'Being in comfort' is unidiomatic; use 'being comfortable'. Suggestion: Use conditional forms for opinions about bias and natural verbs like 'drawn to' or 'gravitate towards'.

× And moreover, I also buy sport shoes and uh, some fashionable shoes off only.

✓ Moreover, I also buy sports shoes and some fashionable shoes occasionally.

The phrase 'off only' is ungrammatical. Likely intended 'occasionally' or 'every now and then'. 'Sport shoes' should be 'sports shoes'. Remove filler 'uh' in formal responses. Use 'occasionally' to indicate occasional purchases.