鞋子— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more fluent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating frequency, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Reduce hesitations and unnecessary repetitions.

範例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually buy a new pair once a month because I like updating my style. For example, I often choose shoes based on color or shape that suit my mood that day.

建議: Clarify and organize the answer. Begin with a direct statement then explain where and why, using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases and fill pauses; give one concrete detail about the app or condition.

範例: Yes, I have bought shoes online. I often use a second‑hand marketplace app because the prices are much lower than new shoes. For instance, I recently bought a pair for half price and I didn't mind minor scuffs because they were in good condition overall.

建議: Give a clear typical price range and explain with one reason. Use linking words to compare new vs second‑hand costs and avoid fragmented phrases.

範例: It depends, but I typically spend around ¥10,000 for regular shoes. However, for high‑tech sneakers I might spend up to ¥20,000, although I usually buy them second‑hand, so I end up paying about half the retail price.

建議: Give a concise balanced answer: state preference and then explain the practical reason using linking words. Use precise language (size, fit, support) and avoid filler words.

範例: I prefer fashionable shoes for everyday wear, but for work I choose comfortable ones. Because I walk for about eight hours a day, I focus on good fit, cushioning and support rather than style.

× Yes, I like buying shoes. I, I buy shoes per month.

✓ Yes, I like buying shoes. I buy shoes every month.

Use of 'per month' is grammatically possible but unnatural here; 'every month' is the common expression to indicate a repeated monthly action. Also remove hesitation markers 'I, I' for fluency.

× I, I go to the shops directly and to find the shoes such as uh, uh, favorite color or favorite, favorite shape?

✓ I go to the shops in person to find shoes with my preferred color or shape.

Original sentence has awkward structure and missing prepositions. Use 'in person' or 'face-to-face' instead of 'directly' to contrast with online shopping. Use 'to find shoes with my preferred color or shape' for correct noun phrase and parallel structure. Remove fillers and repeated words.

× It depends on the day, the feeling I choose it.

✓ It depends on the day and how I feel; I choose according to my mood.

Original mixes clauses incorrectly. Use 'depends on the day and how I feel' for clarity and correct conjunction. 'I choose according to my mood' is natural English phrasing.

× Yes, I have experienced.

✓ Yes, I have.

When asked 'Have you ever bought shoes online?', the short natural reply is 'Yes, I have.' 'I have experienced' is incomplete and unidiomatic; 'experienced' requires an object (experienced buying shoes) but the short form 'I have' stands for 'I have bought them.'

× I use the applications to buy a second second one.

✓ I use an app to buy second-hand ones.

Use singular 'an app' or 'apps' instead of 'the applications.' 'Second second one' is a repetition and ungrammatical; the correct term is 'second-hand' for used items. Use 'ones' to refer to shoes generally.

× Uh, MPI one.

✓ For example, an app called MPI.

Original is fragmentary and unclear. Provide a complete noun phrase: 'For example, an app called MPI,' which clarifies the intended meaning.

× I like second one shoes because it is a little bit cheaper than brand new and I don't care.

✓ I like second-hand shoes because they are a bit cheaper than brand-new ones and I don't mind minor wear.

'Second one shoes' and 'it is' misuse number agreement and count nouns. Use 'second-hand shoes' and plural verbs 'they are.' 'Brand new' should be 'brand-new ones.' Also 'I don't care' is vague; 'I don't mind minor wear' is more natural.

× It's dusty so it's convenient for me.

✓ They may be slightly worn, but that's fine for me.

Calling shoes 'dusty' as a reason for convenience is odd. Use 'slightly worn' to describe used condition; 'that's fine for me' expresses acceptance. Also maintain number agreement with 'they.'

× Independence, Independence shoes, but I use ¥10,000 I like a high tech, high technical sneakers, which is a little bit expensive about the uh ¥20,000, but the as I mentioned, I used the second hand application. So it is, it is about 50%.

✓ For everyday shoes I buy inexpensive ones, but I spend about ¥10,000 on them. I like high-tech sneakers, which can be expensive (around ¥20,000). As I mentioned, I use second-hand apps, so I usually pay about half the price.

Original is disorganized and contains repetition and unclear referents. Break into clear sentences, correct word order ('I like high-tech sneakers'), use correct punctuation for amounts, and explain the 50% discount as 'pay about half the price.' Ensure subject-verb agreement and natural quantifier usage.

× Which do you prefer, fashionable shoes or comfortable shoes?

✓ Which do you prefer, fashionable shoes or comfortable shoes?

This question sentence is fine; no correction needed. Keeping for completeness.

× Actually boss uh, I prefer to buy a fashionable shoes, but for my works I have to buy a comfortable shoes because I walk around buildings about 8 hours per day.

✓ Actually, I prefer to buy fashionable shoes, but for work I have to buy comfortable shoes because I walk around buildings for about eight hours a day.

Remove 'boss' which is a filler and incorrect here. Use 'fashionable shoes' (no article) and 'comfortable shoes' (no article). Use 'for work' instead of 'for my works.' Use 'for about eight hours a day' for natural time expression and correct numeral spelling in formal speech.

× So I I concentrate on it's comfortable and size and structure.

✓ So I focus on comfort, fit, and construction.

Original mixes contractions and awkward phrasing. Use 'focus on' instead of 'concentrate on it's comfortable and size and structure.' List key criteria as nouns: 'comfort, fit, and construction' for clarity and concision.