鞋子— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and filler words. Use linking words (for example, usually, because) to connect ideas and keep answers within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. Usually I buy new shoes about twice a year, mainly for special events or work. I prefer to shop in person because I want to try them on and make sure they are comfortable.

建議: Organize the response with a clear contrast: state that you have bought shoes online, give a concise reason with one example, then contrast with your preference. Use linking words like however or although and avoid general statements without specifics.

範例: Yes, I have bought shoes online, especially when there is a good deal and the style I want isn’t available locally. However, I usually prefer buying in person because I can try them on to ensure they fit comfortably.

建議: Be precise and avoid hesitations. Give a clear amount and explain briefly why you spend that much with a supporting reason. Remove filler words (uh, umm) and improve grammar (e.g., "every two months").

範例: I usually spend about 10 million every two months on shoes because I prioritize durability and quality, so I’m willing to pay a bit more to avoid shoes wearing out quickly.

建議: Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then add a brief reason and a contrasting comment about fashion. Use clearer linking phrases (for example, although, however) and correct small phrasing errors.

範例: I prefer comfortable shoes because I need to be on my feet for long periods at work and during events. However, I also try to choose styles that look fashionable so I can feel confident and put-together.

× Yes, actually I like buying shoes but most of the time I buy one I need for example twice a year for special parties or ceremonies or events and maybe for work.

✓ Yes, actually I like buying shoes, but most of the time I buy the ones I need, for example twice a year for special parties, ceremonies, events, and maybe for work.

The original sentence misuses noun phrase forms and lacks articles and commas, making it unclear. 'one I need' should be 'the ones I need' to match plural 'shoes'. Add commas to separate clauses and items in a list. Use 'ceremonies, events' with commas for clarity.

× I prefer to go and and buy comfortable shoes.

✓ I prefer to go and buy comfortable shoes.

There is a duplicated word 'and and' which is incorrect. Remove the extra 'and'. No preposition is needed here; the verb sequence 'go and buy' is idiomatic.

× Yes, specially when I find great deal then I cannot find stores and you can compare prices in different brands without leaving home.

✓ Yes, especially when I find a great deal; I cannot visit stores and I can compare prices across different brands without leaving home.

Use 'especially' not 'specially'. 'Great deal' needs an article 'a'. 'Then I cannot find stores' is unclear; change to 'I cannot visit stores' or separate into two clauses. 'In different brands' should be 'across different brands' for correct prepositional use.

× But I prefer to buy shoes by person because I want to make sure they are comfortable.

✓ But I prefer to buy shoes in person because I want to make sure they are comfortable.

Use 'in person' not 'by person'. The pronoun 'they' correctly refers to 'shoes' (plural), so keep it. Correct prepositional phrase improves meaning.

× I spend around uh, 10 million two months on shoes and I don't mind if umm they would be a little more expensive because I prefer to buy durable shoes, not umm just wear out quickly.

✓ I spend around 10 million every two months on shoes, and I don't mind if they are a little more expensive because I prefer to buy durable shoes that do not wear out quickly.

Use 'every two months' to express regular interval. Do not use conditional 'would' after 'don't mind' in this context; use present 'are'. 'Not umm just wear out quickly' should be 'that do not wear out quickly' to form a correct relative clause.

× If I had to choose, I'd always prioritize and I'd prefer comfortable shoes because if they are not comfortable, I can't stand that, especially events and at work.

✓ If I had to choose, I'd always prioritize comfortable shoes because if they are not comfortable, I can't stand them, especially at events and at work.

Remove redundant 'and I'd prefer' since 'prioritize' already implies preference. Replace 'I can't stand that' with 'I can't stand them' to refer to 'shoes' (plural). Add preposition 'at' before 'events' for correctness.

× But I like to keep in up with fashion, so I like to be a little stylish.

✓ But I like to keep up with fashion, so I like to be a little stylish.

Phrase should be 'keep up with fashion' not 'keep in up with'. Remove the extra word 'in'. The rest is acceptable.