鞋子— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and avoid repetition. Use linking words to add a brief reason. Also keep under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I like buying shoes, but I rarely do — usually only once a year. I enjoy choosing styles that suit me, so when I buy I take my time to find the right pair.

建議: Answer directly, correct phrasing (use "on the Internet" or "online") and avoid repeating that you never bought online. Briefly give a reason or give an example using linking words to support your view.

範例: No, I have never bought shoes online. However, my friend often shops online, and she says it is convenient because you can compare prices and read reviews before buying.

建議: Be specific and avoid fillers. Use correct currency pluralization and explain comparison clearly with linking words. Keep it concise and factual.

範例: I usually spend about ¥3,000 a year on shoes. Compared with many people here, I tend to spend less because I buy only one inexpensive pair annually.

建議: Good clear topic sentence and reason. Improve coherence by using a linking word and add a short specific detail or example to strengthen the answer. Keep it within five sentences.

範例: I prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable ones because I often go mountain climbing. For example, I choose sturdy hiking shoes with good grip to protect my ankles and prevent slips on rough trails.

× I like to buy shoes because I like to select what I favorite one, but I usually buy shoes just one time per year, so I rarely buy them.

✓ I like to buy shoes because I like to choose my favorite ones, but I usually buy shoes only once a year, so I rarely buy them.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'select what I favorite one' is ungrammatical; use 'choose my favorite ones' for correct verb and noun form. 'Just one time per year' is awkward; use 'only once a year'. Also 'favorite ones' should be plural to match 'shoes'. Overall, simplify phrasing and ensure noun plurality and correct verb choice.

× No, I have never bought shoes online, but my friend bought shoes online in Internet.

✓ No, I have never bought shoes online, but my friend bought shoes online on the Internet.

The phrase 'in Internet' is incorrect; use the preposition 'on' with 'the Internet' (definite article plus correct preposition). Tense use is fine (present perfect for speaker, simple past for friend).

× So I think it is very useful for all people to buy something like shoes in online, but I never bought online.

✓ So I think it is very useful for everyone to buy things like shoes online, but I have never bought them online.

Use 'everyone' rather than 'all people' for natural phrasing. Use 'things like shoes' (plural) and place 'online' after the verb or noun; do not use 'in online'. Also maintain present perfect 'have never bought' to match earlier statement, and include object 'them' to clarify what was not bought online.

× I usually spend about 3000 yens on shoes, so uh, I use about umm ¥3000 per year.

✓ I usually spend about 3000 yen on shoes, so I spend about ¥3000 per year.

The plural of 'yen' is 'yen' (same form); do not add 'yens'. Also use consistent verbs: 'spend' not 'use' when referring to money. Remove filler words 'uh/umm' for clarity.

× For us buying shoes this is cheaper than others.

✓ For us, buying shoes this way is cheaper than for others.

Original sentence lacks clarity and incorrect pronoun/reference. Add a comma and 'this way' to specify method (buying once per year), and compare 'cheaper than for others' to indicate other people. Alternatively: 'For us, buying shoes this way is cheaper than for other people.'

× I really prefer comfortable shoes rather than fashionable shoes.

✓ I really prefer comfortable shoes to fashionable ones.

Use 'prefer A to B' rather than 'prefer A rather than B'. Also 'fashionable ones' avoids repeating 'shoes'.

× That's because I often go to mountains to climb.

✓ That's because I often go mountain climbing.

'Go to mountains to climb' is awkward. Use the activity noun form 'go mountain climbing' or 'go climbing in the mountains'. This is a present habitual action, so present simple 'often go' is appropriate.

× When climbing mountains, I usually take comfortable shoes for safety.

✓ When I climb mountains, I usually wear comfortable shoes for safety.

Use 'wear' for shoes rather than 'take'. Also include subject 'I' for clarity: 'When I climb mountains'. 'Wear' correctly describes the action of using shoes.